Mate for Meat or Meat for Meat?

Well I have been wanting to discuss this topic for a while, but for various reasons both internally and externally I have been reluctant to write about this. Want to take a guess what this is all about? It is a multi billion dollar industry where hoards of other industries thrive on this institutional ecosystem. From simple ceremonies to extravagent exhuberence people flock to celebrate togetherness. Let me unravel the riddle, I am referring to marriages. From Elazabeth Taylor who had gone through slew of marriages, whof….. to Britney Spears who called off her marriage the same day, yikes….we’ve had people who abuse this instituion. Hollywood has denigraded the institution of marriage and using it as a publicity stunt.

The consequences of marriage affect every aspect of society. It occupies the most intimate aspect of personal privacy and personal love and reaches the pillars of the sacred institutions of a culture. Marriage is the pillar of society, but it is also the pillar of government, business, and the military. Marriage cuts to the very heart of a nation. As goes marriage; so goes the nation. It infiltrates every aspect of human life not only for the married but also for the unmarried. When marriages prosper, the nation rises; when marriages fail, the nation falls. Divorce not only rattles the foundation of the judicial system and psychiatry, but, through its influence on children, alters the course of the next generation. Divorces are the steps to the grave of a culture and a nation. The study of culture, corporate or private, is the study of marriage.

Well marraiges are much easier to make and dissolve, faster than pregnancy and abortions. The new Divorce Law in Mexico finalizes divorces with in 30 minutes if no minor kids are involved and the 5 letter word Talaq in the Muslim marriage act dissolves this institution instantenously today. Let us get to the bottom of the issue, should this institution of marriage be dissolved?

Animals with just 5 senses still live in colonies and they care for their cohabitants and young ones. Some of them go out of their way to care for other species, well they are climbing up the ladder of social responsibility, while humans with six senses have mutated to self centered, nuclear, morally morbid species today. With ever increasing divorce rates and moral abuse of this institution the society is questioning the very fundamentals of this instituion.

Why was this institution established?
Well I think this was established to create a sense of responsibility, belongingness, ownership, commitment and duty towards family and society. This institution was created to define relationships in the society, bring orderliness, and make us morally and socially responsible. Animals have got no moral and social responsibility. They can mate with their off springs, they can involve in polygamy, leave the family once they get their share and there is no institution that prevents them from not getting into such immoral acts. No wonder they have no marriage laws and no long queues outside family courts. Instant marriages, polygamy, and divorces have questioned the very existence of this institution. Today we are species with zero tolerance, nuclear ideas, carnal hormone factories with self centered minds, ego driven intellects.

What has happened to this institution?
This institution was created with the objective of bringing orderliness in the society, set moral standards, and a binding force to keep a family together. Think about your grandparent’s days, when incomes were less, families were big, life was still happy and marriages were successful. Well I define successful marriage as one which has both happiness and sadness, with no violence, more tolerance and patience and eventually no divorce courts. Today we have marriages made online, under water, in the air, over an SMS and so on, but the fundamental qualities that hold the marriage together seem to have evaporated. Our genes today has mutated and we have turned to species without tolerance, patience, filled with super ego and arrogance. We are demolishing this institution using the hammer of financial freedom and arrogance. The West was very family centric, value driven and culturally rich and today we have shows like Desperate Housewife, Wife Swap And so on and so forth eroding the values and respect on this institution. Now there is a new breed of reality shows that makes men and women lecherously expose their flesh and date over the national television for ratings and the winners get married at the end of the show. Another heinous act, women potraying themselves to be eye candies and pleasure pillows on national television and when the act gets done they are dumped. Institution of marriage has lost the santity and respect.

There was a time when dating was considered a social crime, and live-in relationships were outrageously discouraged. Today the West faces problems with teenage pregnancy, abortions in high schools and there is a renaissance unfolding. Well the East is soon catching up to the sins of the West. Christianity, Hinduism and other religions don’t accept divorces, but does that mean women and children who are subjected to cruelty by their spouses should continue to live with them. There are exceptions to this, but statistics say 50% of the divorces are due to differences of opinion and are usually due to ego clashes. Love marriages see no love after 5 years and 1 baby. Where has all the love gone suddenly? Husbands and wife get into a legal battle for child custody and separation of assets.

Spiraling court battles with innocent kids in emotional turmoil, children out of wed-lock walking around without a sense of belongingness, what are we doing today? Should we really have this institution? Can’t we dissolve this institution and go back to the cave man days of moral and ethical standards. May be who knows cavemen might have had better standards than what we have today.

What would happen if this institution was dissolved?
Relationships would have no meaning. Mother, father and siblings would be looked upon as piece of flesh to be enjoyed. We would be animals mating with our own mothers, fathers, siblings and kids.
Society will grow up with moral degradation
Kids won’t know their real fathers, though DNA could prove but it would take years to nail down the real father.
The whole world would be an orphanage, kids running around with their fathers and mother not known. They will have GOD as their lastnames.
Divorce lawyers will need to change their profession and marriage industry will go dry
Aids and numerous diseases will affect both the body and the mind
This world would merely turn in a meat for meat or mate for meat society

Isn’t it scary to even think about this? Well let us use this forum to debate about the existence and need for this institution. Let us highlight the problems and look at all possible solutions.

M.S. Subbalakshmi - Baktha Meera

It is a very special day, a day to be remembered and cherished in every music lovers heart and other hearts too. She is an exemplar. God created her with a master plan in his mind and she lived her life till the last breath and minute uttering the names of the almighty, enchanted the world with her magical music. Every breath of hers was music and every utternace was filled with fragrance. Humbleness and devotion effusing from every pore in her body. Embodiment of sattwik qualities, music was her tapasya (penance). From Krishna Gana Sabha to UN concerts in Geneva, she kept her audience encapsulated in quality music. Statesman to President there was not a soul on this earth that would not love her music.

They were a divine couple together and sometimes it makes you think if Shiva- Parvathi themselves came down to show this world the depth of music and how it is also the path to reach the divine feet of God. Still thinking who this could be? None else other than the revered M.S. Subbalakshmi a.k.a Kunjamma. She was born on September 16, 1916 in a family with rich cultural and music values. Yet another moment to feel proud that we lived in her era of music.

The trinity composers have shown us that music can also be the path to reach God. While we never lived their days to realize and understand music as a path to salvation, we had an opportunity to watch this real time with M.S. M.S. both in real life and in reel life was bhakta Meera. Her music astounds the listeners with devotion and makes them levitate and feel in heaven. Her music was always devoid of gimmicks, excessive brigas and other frill work, the center piece was bhakti (devotion) and her path was to salvation. Her Suprabatham and Vishnu sahasranamam (1008 names of Vishnu) reverberates in every nook and corner of this world from Alaska to deepest Africa. People say she was born to sing Suprabatham (hymns sung to wake up Vishnu). She is a museum, excelled in music with impeccable perfection and dedication. From thumris, meera bhajans, trinity sahityams she rendered with absolute clarity, perfection and devotion. It won’t be an overstatement to call her the Bhatka Meera of Kali yuga. If I were ask to stay in an Island all by myself, I would take her Cd’s and Bagavatham books with me.

If you think Music was just the one aspect we got to experience from her, you are wrong. It was May of 1972, my parents got engaged and they were looking at M.S. to sing for their wedding reception. They approached her and she charged a premium in those days Rs. 25, 000 = equivalent to 500 USD today. She asked my grandfather to send the check to Rameshwaram temple renovation fund and paid the accompaniments out of her pocket for the concert. She was kind enough to sing the cradle song for my brother when he was born a year later. Again it won’t be an overstatement to call her the “Kali Yuga Karnan” (A character in the epic Mahabaratha who was the epitome of philanthropy). She was committed to supporting the community raising funds through her concerts. She kept very little for her and donated all or at times most of the proceeds to noble cause.

It is rare to have a husband with similar thoughts and qualities. This diamond was shaped and made a jewel on the crown. Sadasivam mama was responsible for shaping up M.S.’s career right from the days of Meera and Sakunthala. He was running a magazine supporting India’s independence movement and the couple spent all their earnings and savings in spreading the message of Independence through Satyagraha (non-violence). Confluence of thoughts, ideas, may it be philanthropy or songs for the concert, MS and Sadasivam had Ekahrudayam (one heart) and were made for each other. Who else could they be other than Shiva and Parvathi?

Well here is another facet of the genius’s life. She was also a propellant of Independence and the couple joined hands with Mahatma Gandhiji, the father of our nation to play their part service the country through music. There was not an ounce of selfishness in the couple and they lived an absolutely, truthful, transparent life.
The Kalki magazine was started to fuel the spirit of independence among the youth and even today is stands out as a quality magazine propagating values.

The couple had a very strong Jupiter in their horoscopes too. They had the blessings of all saints from Ramana Maharishi to Pope John Paul. They were given a private interview with Pope John Paul on their way back from UN concert. Their association with Kanchi mutt and the Senior Pontiff was well known. They moved every step ahead with the blessings of the Saint of Kanchi, when God is with us who can be against us? Let me enunciate another incident in their life. The couple had sold their assets including their only house to fund their magazine, Kalki. M.S. was donating all the proceeds from her concerts too and their financial situation was worrying the public. This news had reached the ears of Kanchi Paramacharya (Saint of Kanchi) and he thought through the plan and summoned the couple. In the meantime he had called on the RPG group to promote a few devotional albums on Tirupathi Balaji (Vishnu) and picked the songs himself that would go into the multi-volumed Balaji Pancharatnamala. He requested RPG group to pay the maximum they could to M.S. to sing those songs. When the couple came down to see the saint, he divulged the plan about the albums and took a promise that they would enjoy the royalty from the proceeds of the album. But the couple refused to accept the royalty and donated the proceeds of the albums to TTD (Balaji temple @ Tirupathi). The proceeds from the royalty is in excess of INR 6 crores today. Even today every pie from the sale of the album reaches the temple. Isn’t there a limit to share? Well her hands have turned red from just giving and face pink from the humble smile.

Titles, awards, and money poured, but not an ounce of arrogance to be seen, there was only karunyam (kindness) in her eyes. She was a Karma Yogi in every respect. Her duty was to sing her way to God in the meantime she got into our hearts. She had given herself in every respect to the community and in service of God. She is sandalwood (fragrance wood) and she gave music, gave wealth and gave herself for the society. One could see her shed tears in public when the Saint of Kanchi attained Moksha (salvation). Her health had taken downturn and she was very selective in giving concerts. Her last concert was a fund raiser to the Kanchi Saint Mani Mandapam and what a blessing! Her last number was Maitrim Bhajata, a song written by Kanchi Saint for asking for world peace. The nightingale sang for the last time in public and soon after that Sadasivam mama passed away. There was no concert of her without Sadasivam mama.
She is an avatar, she is a dictionary for music listeners and lovers, she is a role model in every aspect of life, and finally she is a university there is a lot one can learn from her.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts here. I am sure she has a lot more qualities to be appreciated and revered. Well if you are interested to hear her music or read more about here do a google on M.S. Subbalakshmi and engage yourself in eternal happiness.

31 Birthday

No candles to blow, no cakes to cut and smear the cream over my face. It was a different one this year. Should cakes and candles only be the norm? Why can't birthday's be celebrated otherwise? Want to know how my day was? Go down and read.....

Today is my 31st birthday; there is nothing special about birthdays. This is yet another normal day. Well does that mean every day in life is eventful and filled with fun and frolic? Not at all, happiness and sorrow is in the mind, just like beauty in the eye of beholder. I don’t know when the concept of celebrating birthdays evolved. 30 years of my life has gone by and Saturn has taken its second round across the Cancer, he was sitting in Cancer while I was born and he has come around for the first time to wish me.

Mom made some pudding (payasam) this morning and I had a scoop before got out of the house. I was surprised this morning from SMS on my mobile. There were 7 messages waiting for me to wakeup. There was a SMS from one of my friend from high school which raised my eyebrow. It was a local mobile number and I had last seen him when I was in college (1995). He is a marine engineer and has come down to shore to spend time with family and take up his exams for the next level. I called him up to let him know that he surprised me, but he made a feel heavy sharing a lot more happenings in his life. While answering phone calls at one end I finished my morning prayers. Mom rushed into the prayer room with a sheet of paper and she was happy. The Insurance Company was paying out some bonus and that check came by the morning mail. Well I thought it was a gift from God and I decided to use it for Charity.

Well we all plan our birthdays, vacations, and routines but how many of us plan our spiritual lives? Well for the past few birthdays I have been planning on my journey towards God. I have made a list of milestones to achieve enroute towards God and I was checking today if I had made any progress. Every birthday I write down on a 4*4 card the list of things that I need to put in practice and with timelines. I pulled out the card and I was a little guilty and nervous. I had made an elaborate list last year and when I went through the list I was able to score off only a few. I wrote down a few more achievable ones for this year and put back the card in a visible spot. For once I realized “Goals are objectives with timelines”. I could hear my heart pound, and the time bomb was ticking outside. I realized I was getting late to work, I had picked up a sweet box on my way to work so that my boss won't look at his watch when I enter late.

Well I am at work and headed in a few minutes to the doctor. I have been diagnosed with varicose veins on my right calf and had a Doppler done on my lower limb to confirm the same. I will meet the doc to take the next course of action to have this treated. Well the sign of oldage is definitely showing on me. Age with grace and respect is my motto.

I was home last weekend and had to do some errands. My family is traveling to Delhi tonight and wont be back till early next week, this means I am home alone. I have to make my meals, and lot more responsibilities are on my shoulder. I am getting late, let me get going. Will catch you this weekend with more travelogues.

I reached home by 8.30 pm tonight and I received a call from an ex-colleague. She is a well accomplished piano player and she played the birthday song for me. I just overwhelmed by her love and affection. More than the birthday song or the wish it was the care that each one took to make my day happy. Well the Doc has prescribed oral medication and a bandage to wear around my calf going up all the way to my thigh.

Emails and phone calls gave me an opportunity to hear your voice, read your heart and roll back to those halcyon days, well birthday is just an excuse to hear from a friend. If each of us can take the phone and call a friend and let him or her know that you thought about her or him and cared about her, it would make tears and love flow. Let us not just wait for birthdays. What goes around comes around. I am so fortunate to have you all in my life.

Thanks for those you who took pains to remember my birthday and send me cards and wishes, you are always in my heart and prayers. For those who forget me, it is fine, you are still in my heart and prayers.

Bye!

In the magic spell of the elephant God

Ganesha (elephant god) celebrated his birthday yesterday- Sukla Chaturthi (4th day from New moon day) in the tamil month of Aavani (August 15-September 14). Chennai came under the magic spell of Ganesha - Fun, frolic and rains came down hard on the city. Ganesha is located in every nook and corner from an inch to several feet high and you can’t see a street in Chennai without his temple or statue. Either trunk up or trunk down we consider him lucky and he is worshipped as the obstacle remover. Every house made his favorite dish – Kozhakattai (coconut pudding stuffed in rice dumplings) both salt and sweet ones. No wonder Ganesha has such a big tummy, lol! Ganesha has chosen mouse (Meenjur) to be his vahana (vehicle), difficult to comprehend a big god on a small mouse, huh? Well if you have noticed Ganesha has small eyes, he doesn’t look at our mistakes, he has big ears to hear every little prayer that we say and he has a big, long trunk to ward off evil and get us out of trouble.

Ganesha’s are usually made of clay and painted with colors and pretty eyes made of red and black beads (kunthumani). He wears a one piece cloth around his wait and the sacred thread that runs across his chest from the left shoulder. Ganeshas are immersed the following day after pooja in the sea. People have used chemicals and other non-biodegradable materials, but due the recent campaigns to use biodegradable materials we have more seriously taken to clay.

Speakers blowing loud music with majestic voice from the Seerkazhi family filled the air and created the festive mood. Thanks to the rain that came down hard in the morning, roads were not crowded both in terms of people and pollution. While Ganesha had an umbrella the rest of the public was caught unawares with the morning rain.

Chennai’s rainfall is 36% deficit for the period between June and August. We need Ganesha to bless us with some more rains. This morning news paper reported of the low pressure sitting quietly in the Bay of Bengal and that should bring a decent rainfall in the next 36 hours. To add to the low pressure the news paper also carried an article on the sea, it has been quite rough over the past week, and people were anxious to know if there is another Tsunami around the corner. Several newspapers reported the ferocity of the waves and encroachment of land by the sea. I was in Marina last evening and rain has stopped by then, the crowd was slowing picking up. I could see the marks left by the waves at almost in the center of the beach. Wow! The water has traveled so far and I was getting a little worried, but the sea was clam and flat yesterday. Is it calm before storm? People were already bringing the Ganesha to dissolve them in the sea yesterday. So many Ganeshas’ lined up the shore and incense sticks were shown before immersing. I still don’t know why Ganesha has to be immersed after worship.

We are just cruising through the hindu festival season. 15 days ago it was Krishna’s b’day and now Ganesha’s has gone by. We are just a month away from Navarathri (Doll festival). Well hang in there, we will enjoy that one with more color and valor.

Mutation of Values and Duties

I closed the last month’s blog with an article highlighting the poverty in India and stressing the need for compulsory education for kids as a first step to eradicate poverty. A few of the readers were sympathetic towards the situation, but I am sure those of you who read the blog will definitely share more than just sympathy. I would like to post another article today.

I had seen a half page ad on the weekly magazine in a local language on old age homes. They were proud to announce that old age is a second teenage for elders and their facility offers all the comforts and medical needs. I was pained by this adv. and as always my mind went into a shell analyzing this. Old age homes in India are not as common as the Western countries. 20 years ago I heard a home for destitute but never for older people. With multiple incomes flowing in the family to keep with the every growing wish list and greed for money, youngsters today throw their parents in streets.

For those of you who don’t know about the Indian society, here is the redy reconer.
Hindu shloka (Holy Scripture) says “Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam” – Mother, father, teacher, and god has to be worshipped in the same order. God wants you to fulfill your duty towards your parents, teachers and then come to him.

1. Parents, grandparents continue live with their sons through out their life. It is the duty of the sons to take care of their parents even after their retirement.
2. Parents with only daughters have no other option living separately from their daughter and within close vicinity.
3. Daughters when married live with their in-laws and take care of them.
4. Parents and grandparents are an integral part of the society. They inculcate moral sense into their grand children. They keep the tradition and culture going.
   

While this used the scenario a decade ago, today Nuclear families have mushroomed too fast. We live in world of instant marriages and divorces (courtesy: Britney spears and so on…) and the family is so small that it is only made up of husband, wife and kids. While we are learning good things from the Western society, there are other things that get into us without our knowledge. Should we blame it on the fast paced life, dying patience and tolerance in us to live together with in-laws, or the every growing wish list to seek multiple incomes? Incompatibility with in-laws, migrating to far away places for professional reasons, seeking nuclear family for more personal freedom are a few among the myriad reasons for parents ending up in old age homes.

I made a trip to an old age home with my friend 4 years ago in US. It was gut wrenching to know that their kids are around but still visit them only on Christmas, and other important festival days. A row of cars pulled in that day, while some of they took their parents home, while some just came by to wish their parents, hand in a bouquet and then left hurriedly. I was emotionally disturbed for the next couple of days. I could not imagine my parents staying in such homes.

Some people at the home had special medical needs and were attended by nurses. I could see old people bonding together and forming a family network. My friend had put his mother in an old age home because there was no one to take care of her at home and to attend to her special needs. We visited his on Mother’s day and brought her home. Mothers give their blood, flesh and more to give us a shape and bring us to this world and there they are in the old age home caged in a 10*10 space with just a television and a newspaper. Life is much more than television, and newspapers. It has a lot to do with kids, grandkids and that happiness cannot be substituted by inanimate lifeless objects.

Millions of Indians are working overseas while their parents are in India for various reasons not moving out of India. Some of these parents end up in old age home so called assisted living. Don’t we have a way to cover our sins temporarily, by calling old age homes as elderly assisted living? While some of them provide good care but the love from the kith and kin is missing creating a hollow. Our parents and grandparents have sacrificed their lives, gone through so many sleepless nights seeing us grow. They have given a meaning to our lives and today they are secluded trying to find meaning for their life.

Have we ever imagined that we will be in the same old age home some day soon? May be the west has already gone through this and they start living a detached attached life from the beginning. Children are on their own financially and physically once they are out of high school and visit parents only on festivals. Parents also keep them away and that bond never grows beyond the materialistic angle. In India we have a different bond. We grow up with the family and take the financial support till we find a job and still continue to live at home with family. The value driven society has inculcated a lot of duty consciousness, love, and gratitude. Where is it gone today? Where are we headed?

The family values and cultural values in our DNA are mutating, thanks to the dynamic mechanized diffusing culture of the West. We are slowly evolving into something dangerous, a new self centered, greedy, selfish species with no kindness and gratitude. There is no use of going to Churches and temples while your parents are shedding tears in Old age homes.

I hope each of you reading this blog are from a different country and your backgrounds and parenting are different. Don’t take offence to my comments, our society is headed this way today. West had similar family values like the east but the capitalistic economy seem to have erased all of this, mutated the genes and revolutionized the world with senior assisted living homes aka old age homes.

We take pride in giving home to animals of all kinds dogs, cats and a variety of species but never want have our parents and grand parents with us. Why is this mentality? Even animals like elephants, monkeys live in colonies, take care of each other and mourn the death of fellow mates. Why is it that we humans are cruel towards fellow human beings? Our cognitive ability has failed to come to our rescue. Has our senses lost its power?

Well we all need money to exist in this world, like the popular saying in Tamil goes,” Arul illarkku avvulagam illai, porul illarkku ivv vulagam illai” we need money for the materialistic world and need divine grace for the spiritual world. Money can never be enough, the moment we learn to live a contended life we will stop going behind money and find the real peace in life. The divine grace falls on us only when we do our duty. Showering love and affection towards elders and taking care of them is a biggest foremost duty.

I leave the rest to you. You are an archietect, you can built a beautiful world with values and culture or you can carve your tombstone, remember vultures are waiting for you.

Let us welcome September

Hey everyone, we are already into September. Ganesha (elephant god) birthday will be celebrated in a week from now, Sept 7, 2005. Usually it falls in the month of Aavani (September) sukla paksha (waning moon) Chaturdasi (4th day from New moon day). City has a lot of Ganesha positioned in every street corner blessing you. This festival is a spectacle in Maharashtra and Gujarat. Kerala is getting ready to celebrate Onam, which falls on 14th Sept. The city of Mumbai amidst its busy spinning schedule finds time for Ganesha.

Jupiter currently in Virgo will move to Libra by 18th September and Sun will move to Libra on Mercury exalted in Virgo, and Sun moves from powerful house Leo to Virgo and Venus moves into his own house along with Jupiter into Libra, while Mars in his own house Aries. Rahu one of the nodes is in Pieces and Ketu in Virgo. Saturn continues to stay in Cancer for some more time. Benefic planets like Jupiter, Venus, and Mercury are conjoined with malefics like Ketu (the other node) or aspected by Rahu and Mars. Well let us pray for peace and prosperity with these transits and also hope the crude prices to come down. :-)