Chemical Engineer, MBA - Delirium in 48 hours

When it comes to shopping both genders and parties on either side of the table today are equally astute and tough to satisfy. Is it because of perfect competition and too many choices that prevail in the consumer world or is it because there is no product differentiation? Customers do enough homework and research (Gee thanks to the World Wide Web) on the products before they set their foot in the shops. Then they run from pillar to post for the best price and play one dealer against the other to get the best offer.

I was in the market scouting to get a decent air conditioner and to choose the right one from a dozen of brands was a difficult proposition. I carefully looked at the ads and their fine prints and memorized brands that advertised to hard sell their products. It is the time of the year when air conditioner sales was picking up with the rising mercury. Dealers were giving ads in the Newspapers touting free installation and free stabilizer with air conditioners. Wow! I was happy that consumerism was driving the prices down and I had freebees and offers.

I didn’t take the regular route of researching on the web rather I directly went to the dealer to understand the latest in the world of heat transfer. Since this was my first visit during the purchase cycle I decided to study the brands and market demand more than technical specification.

I set my foot in the neighborhood dealer who was selling 6 different brands. With confidence and little arrogance I entered the shop while the intelligent ego in me was ready with questions. With a warm smile the salesman asked my requirements and price budget and he made a few suggestions. Though I accepted his suggestion but I had to satiate the consumer ego in me. I thought let me put my MBA to use and I will ask him questions from product marketing and get relevant information. I asked him about the best brands in the market, margins in brands, fast moving brands, and brands with maximum failures and complains, and also about place of manufacture and warranty. At the end of it I wiped the beads of sweat on my forehead, but he was cool as a cucumber. Since he was dealing with multiple brands he could not make up his mind on a particular brand. He was more comfortable arranging them on price than on quality and service. Before I bargained on the price, he ascertained free installation and stabilizer. I held my decision in abeyance and walked out of the place.

Sometimes too much information and research make the selection process confusing and arduous. That is exactly what happened when I came out from the dealer. The MBA in me was put to shame and I didn’t have any more hair to pull. He now put some paradigms in my mind and subliminally created preferences towards a particular brand. Coming back to the oldest trick I started asking (word of mouth is the most powerful marketing tool) my colleagues about air conditioners and their experience. Some of them gave me contradicting feedbacks and I was in a quagmire at the end of it.

Since none of my ventures helped me to zero in on a brand, I decided to pick the technical yardstick to narrow down my choice. My colleague whispered a nearby store has all brands under one roof and priced competitively. The store was hardly stone throw away distance from work and I didn’t need much momentum to drive my ego there. I let the MBA in me go to sleep and I woke up the Chemical engineer. I armed my arguments with flow patterns, turbine design, and Reynolds number. My ego was dancing in excitement. It was 10 years since I graduated and for the first time I felt my degree was put to right practical use. I was ready to beat down the sales man with all technical jargons.

I climbed the flight of steps and walked in the hallway that had rooms with see through doors on either side. There were 8 brands on either side till the end of the hallway. My ego was welcome with a smile by the first salesman belonging to a particular brand on the left hand side. I recanted my requirements and he showed me a few options. This guy was definitely technical but very shallow. His presentation aroused the real chemical engineer in me. My heart quipped “It is all heat transfer baby!!”

He tried hard to convince me that this particular brand had different nozzle shapes and sizes which cooled the room faster, but I had to remind him that capacity of the compressor was fixed and hence output can’t vary. The ego in me had conquered and squished his ignorance. His job became tougher now and he couldn’t afford to let me walk out of that room. My ego was priced at 25,000 and it was all worth for him to lose his pride and surrender his ego. He quickly realized that he had to close in now and he distracted me with a presentation that showed design of turbines/fans and how it affects efficiency. He threw another trick from him bag this time. He was trying to get me to go with his brand presenting the softer aspects wrt to embedded electronics and fuzzy logic algorithms. I was sucked right into the presentation that ran on the 14 inch monitor, but my ego didn’t want to lose either. I told him that I was not enamored by electronic controls and gizmos and I cared for performance. I had no other grounds to haggle except on price. But then I realized this was taking me no where. The salesman instantly rolled out the last bait in his bag. He tried to enamor me with the gift scheme and said that I could not avail the gift and he would reduce the value on the price of the AC. I was stunned and the MBA in me woke up and he said “Don’t fall a prey to this scam and this is to get non MBA’s in the trap”. Once again I stroked my ego and thanked my degree that kept me agile and wary.

I walked out of this brand and moved into another brand just to find reasons to accept my choice and stroke my ego. I knew I could do this only by stomping over a few more egos and finding faults with the other brands. Human mind is so capable of denigrating, isn’t it? I was convinced on the design and efficiency but the price was too high. I would rather pay for the engineering but not for marketing and brand value.

Sales guys rack up their brains to come up with innovate ways to present the same old Colgate with campaigns such as New, Improved, extra fluoride and while the ting noise stays forever. This was the same case with air conditioners. There was no clear product differentiation strategy in terms of technology. Most of the other brands had similar features and at the end of the one hour exercise I was still left high and dry. I had a tingling sensation and I realized I was in the turbulent zone and with high Nre. Nothing crystallized at the end of all these trips only my fluids dynamics was uncontrollable.

When we come to shop we all come with a requirement and when we leave we all look forward to walk away with the pride of owning the best brand at cheap price with maximum guarantee. We don’t want to believe the salesman ad want to throw our weight and knowledge around so that he doesn’t take us for a ride. None of it was achieved in my case and all rounds of research and screening turned futile.

When I came home in the evening my mother was only surprised to see my indecisiveness. My education, experience and logic all went for a toss. Even after stomping so many egos I felt rattled inside and I heard the voice in my head. It said “A Chemical Engineer and a MBA cannot make a simple decision?” My ego got swatted like a fly.

Slew of questions marooned my mind. Should I go with brand loyalty or should I trust another brand? The simple process of qualifying a brand and putting my credit card down became a complex process. Education created only paradigms and doubts in my mind. The sense of calm and feeling of being assured was all ushered in the past 48 hours. I realized I needed an air conditioner to cool my mind and ego. My complex mind immediately started building an equation for decision making.

F(x) = (history, price, quality, warranty, service)

When I presented the case to my mother and she only made it simple. Her logic seemed convincing and solution seemed simple. “We have 2 machines of the same brand at home and touch wood they have been trouble free for 9 years now. The brand is an Indian brand and there is no reason to fear they would shut their doors or give poor service. On the price front this brand was in between low end and fast moving brand and high end, luxury brand”. With conviction and clarity she said let us go with our gut feeling and from past performance. Her simple 2 minute solution put the multiple personality in me to rest. I asked both the MBA and the Chemical engineer to vacate my mind and unction my bruised ego. For the first time in two days I had an empty bladder feeling, the cloud of delirium vanished and a decision was made.

Solace, Solitude, and Silence – The Ramana Way

Before going on vacation we make reservations and accommodations months in advance, we itemize things we need to carry, and secure our belongings back home and finally ensure we have enough balance on our pre-paid mobile cards.

We all come to this earth with two kinds of cards, viz. Pre-paid and Post-Paid. The former one is from our karma from the previous birth aka fate and the latter one is our freewill aka fate of our next birth. The clash between science and spirituality was going on in my mind. I called on Newton and Neelakant at the same time asking for a solution.

The Newton in me presented his argument: “Don’t you agree that my 3rd Law holds good for all living and non living things?” To solve this debate between Neelakant and Newton I asked Senthil, my scientist friend to jump in. I was confident that this chemist would help me solve the mystery, but that was short lived until he came back with a boomerang. He presented another complex argument “when we reap fruits are you able to distinguish if this was a by-product of an action performed in the past (aka reaction of the action) or it is due to freewill aka action in the present birth”. Now I felt lost with too many questions already rattling my mind this only added another dimension to my paranoia. I asked both Neelkant and Newton to leave my head for sometime.

When science doesn’t help it is faith that helps. I had faint inkling that I had to get over some obstacles before going on this spiritual trip. Call this a test of perseverance or unwavering faith. But I had an intuition that once I get through this then it would be a smooth sail. The previous night I made a trip to Kapali Temple, I call him my local jurisdiction lord and I asked him if there was a way to check the balance on my pre and post paid and ways to ensure that I had enough balance to redeem my points for a spiritual vacation? Man proposes and God disposes is a hackneyed phrase we get to hear, and some people say we cant embark on a spiritual journey until one gets a call from God. Neither did I know my karma balance for redemption nor I heard a call from God, but I had this wish deep down in my heart to visit the holy city of “Thiruvannamalai” abode of Siddhas. Puranas say the very utterance of Lord Arunchala’s name and the very thought of Holy mountain Arunagiri is enough to absolve our sins. Absorbed in the spirit of Annamalai I took the noon bus to Thiruvannamalai, 180 kms south west of Chennai.

It was mid February and nobody promises of nice weather in Southern Tamilnadu. One gets taste of summer in February. It was one such day with no humidity and the sun was masked well behind the clouds and the breeze was pleasant. I had a feeling of winning a scratch lottery. There was no thought about work our about any payment dues, my mind was free and clear for once.

It was 4 pm when I checked in one of the row cottages at the ashram. There was nothing fancy about the accommodation. There was a table and chair to the left a double bed with sheets neatly tucked and inviting fresh linen. To the extreme right there was a shelf to lock precious belongings and right besides it there was a photo of Sri Ramana on the wall. His trademark, the piercing eyes reminded me of the objective of my visit.

I didn’t waste a minute upon arrival at the room. After a few seconds of glancing at the layout and arrangement I jumped in the shower and within minutes I was draped in dothi headed to Ramanasramam right across the road.


My friend Senthil had checked in the morning at the ashram and he gave me a quick tour of the ashram and handed over a sheet of timetable of activities at the Ashram. Common people call them beggars, while ashram calls them Sivan adiyaars. We were welcomed by them seated on either side at the entrance of the ashram.

I was next welcomed by the Peacocks when I entered in the ashram, and they were the permanent inmates of the ashram. I am sure they let Ramana know of my arrival at the ashram. This was the first time I heard peacocks sing, though my previous encounters with peacocks have been in captivity. From the very entrance of the ashram one could see the lofty peak of Arunagiri and the ashram was on the foot hills. One got lost at the mere look at the mountain. It has a lot of messages if you have the right station tuned to receive them. Bookstore and administrative offices were lined on my right and once I crossed them and climb a few steps I saw the shrines on the left.

It was weekend and definitely scores of tourists were sure to stop by the ashram. Some serious spiritual seekers both from the country and from overseas were camped at the ashram for months together and some even for life. Senthil pointed out a few of them whom he had seen from his trip couple of years ago. What is it that they find here and why is it that they leave their family and wealth to settle down in a small village like Thiruvannamalai? That was a question in my mind, but I decided to park for another time.

We washed our feet and headed to the main shrine aka Brindavana of Sri Ramana. This is the second building on the left after the book store and admin building. A huge hall painted with silence welcomed us. Sadhakas and spiritual seekers were seated with crossed legs and eyes closed. This made me wonder if I had stepped into Kailash.

I prostrated at the front of the Shivalingam kept on top of Sri Ramana’s Samadhi and circumbulated before finding a quiet spot besides the sadhakas. Living in city’s hustle bustle how many of us have experienced and enjoyed a calm mind? For the first time I felt something unusually calm. I looked around to see if I had stepped in a zone with absolutely no gravity. I was still walking on the floor, but my motion slowed, my pulse began to settle down to a comfortable pace, my heart was beating at the minimum required level, my mind was free from anxiety for once, there was no pressure on my lungs to breath and deep silence filled every pore and vessel in my body. How did all this happen in a few minutes? Can our body chemistry be altered that soon without any external drug? Well the answer is silence, the elixir. In the new age we can call him Prozac.




I have read so many books on meditation and how to silence the mind, but this was my first practical experience without any notice and preparation. The entire reaction was catalyzed by Sri Ramana. An hour had passed by before we were brought back to consciousness by the chants of Sri Rudram and Chamakam. We witnessed the evening ablutions given to Shivalingam by the pandits. It was Saturday and there was an evening prayer session in Tamil. Men were seated on one side of the hall and women on the other side of the hall and each of them took turns in reciting poems written on Sri Ramanar set to various carnatik ragas like Kavadi chindu, Kaapi, Hindolam, etc. The entire hall that was engulfed in silence sometime back was reverberating with bakthi and only one voice was heard. For that moment I forgot if I was living in Bhulok or Kailash! It was quarter past 7 at night, the prayer session ended and breeze of silence again took over the hall again.

Silence is a powerful tool and it can be enriching or disturbing. We’ve seen “Keep silence” board at hospitals, clinics and at places of worship. The silence at hospitals and clinics is somber while the silence at place of worship is always pensive. There was no tinge of sadness in any of the faces meditating in the main hall. I could see them radiating energy and joy. Is it because they’ve realized the true joy and permanent happiness in the world? May be I will borrow a few of my high school physics here to scientifically paint the atmosphere. We are exposed to the radioactive rays emanating from the Samadhi and Mount Arunachala. These rays are never injurious but only enriching. Can I call these guys Positrons (positively charged electrons)? The very silence in the hall strips the negative charge and impinges our cells with positive energy. Should I call this Ramana effect?

Discipline was strictly followed in the ashram and nobody had to do the time keeping job, people knew their routine, but people like us had to go with the timetable until we got used to the routine at the ashram.

We stepped out of the prayer hall and joined the queue that waited in the courtyard. There was absolutely pin drop silence and people calmly waited for their turn to enter the dining hall without jumping lines and making noise. The President of the Ashram welcomed every one who entered the dining hall with a warm smile. We walked through 2 big dinning halls and there were photographs of Ramana adorning every inch of the wall. I glanced at them curiously and ambled through the dining halls. Dried leaves were neatly laid out and stainless steel tumblers were placed on them. Without need for any instruction people followed the routine, I felt this was even better than an automated assembly line.

Most of us were seated on the floor, while some elders and some people from overseas were seated on the table lined up near the call. I sprinkled some water on the dried leaf and curiously waited to see the entrée for the evening. It was definitely Satwick food and there was nothing elaborate, but it the food was definitely nutritious. Two course rice was served along with vegetables and the balanced diet was topped with fruits at the end. There was absolute equality in what as served at the ashram and at special request food with less spice was served.

We classify foods in Hinduism according to the 3 gunas (Satwick, Tamasic, and Rajasic). Taste buds in our tongue and in our mind are activated with the kind of food, and our actions follow. Surprisingly for many of us the very thought of food is enough to activate our taste buds and drive our actions J. We don’t even get time to see what we eat in the city leave alone cooking satwick food and taking time to relish. This for the first opportunity I was able to relish and enjoy my meal. At the end of the meal my mind was still and calm, and for once I could appreciate and enjoy the effect of Satwick food.

The first night blossomed at the ashram with the experience of stillness in mind, silence in action, and to top it off with the satwick diet. I could witness and the very feel of
transformation within me. I was very much afraid that this state would be ephemeral if silence was not adhered. Senthil came back to the room and he cleaned up and started reciting a few chapters from Durga Saptasathi (Chandi). The entire ashram was vibrating with positive energy and soaked with spiritualism. I exchanged a few social pleasantries with my friend before retiring for the night. The cottages at the ashram were cloaked with silence and oxygen was pure and filled with peace. There was no craving for computer, mobile phone, TV and newspaper.

Having lived in the city since birth we always wake to noise of the milkvan, metro lorry or auto rickshaw. For the first time there was I waked to the call of the Peacocks. Their shrill voice reminded me of the paasurams from Thirupaavai asking the women folk to get up from their beds and start their day with the thought of Krishna.

People in the neighboring cottages were already awake and getting ready for another day, while the staff from the administration department was busy cleaning the ashram and cottages. Before we gave our mind and heart another dosage of silence and tranquility we set our stomach working on another round of satwick meal.

Neem trees were everywhere in the ashram. Birds seated on the branches were enjoying the succulent fruit and every now and then they dropped the seeds. Only a few of the many they dropped germinated to become another big neem tree. I quickly imagined a Ramana being the Neem tree and Sadhakas being the birds coming to enjoy the fruits of silence and realization of self. Like the birds and the seeds only a few get to enjoy the fruits of realization, while the rest of us have to wait for the right ambiance to germinate and come back again in the next birth to sit on the branch Ramana and enjoy the fruits.

Mere exposure to Ramana rays cures cancer of mind and body. Pronouns, Verbs, and Nouns get obliterated sitting in front of Supreme Master. There is no need of language in silence. There is no need of another illumination source when you besides Sun. Light and sound are two important concepts in physics and our Scientist have spent and are spending so many man hours exploring and postulating new theories. But none of these scientists have realized the properties of presence of light and absence of sound. At Arunchala silence and light are therapeutic. One would step on this soil with thousand questions, but the very moment he finds hidden answers in him and thus gets enlightened.



Peacocks were loud and shrill marking our attendance with Ramana. We got to see Naryana seva as we entered the ashram. Sadhus, (sometimes referred to as beggars in common parlance) are being fed at the ashram in the morning with two course rice meals. One could call this poor feeding or feeding the beggars, but Ramana always addressed them with atmost respect because he sees the same almighty in everyone. He coined the word “Narayana Seva” (duty of feeding Narayanas’). Ramana practiced “Athithi Devoh bavah” he ensured animals (peacocks, cows, dogs) were fed first, Narayanas were fed next, finally his guests at the ashram were served before he sat down for his meal.

We entered the Mataji shrine, the first one on the left before Ramana’s shrine. Ramana’s mother attained mukthi here and her Samadhi has a Srichakra installed. Pandits were busy reciting their morning prayers at the Shrine and we waited to see the morning aarthi at her sannadhi. We entered the main meditation hall returned to our spots. There was absolutely no talk in the hall and something had to be conveyed it was through actions and sometimes through movement of eye balls. I have seen oxygen parlors in cities but this place was filled with oxygen of different kind.

I have often wondered and made fun on how can Dakshinamurthi teach his students in silence (Mouna Vyakya Prakatitha thatvam yuvanam – Dakshinamurthi Asthakam – by Adi Shankara), but today I realized what can be taught only in silence. The mere ambiance in the hall rejenuvated my cells, quelled my fears, satiated my need, killed my desire and answered my questions. Should I call this the start of enlightenment?

The bell at thirty minutes past eleven brought us back to the Bhulok and we joined the line to the dining hall, but silence was still remained the main the landscape at the ashram. I decided to experiment on Satwick food today. I was observing my thoughts after the meal and there was absolutely nothing Rajasic or Tamasic. Sometimes for educated people like me spirituality has to be tested with science. Science can fail but spirituality never fails.

The Sun was mildly shinning and the wind was calm and pleasant, it was 15 mins to four in the evening. We freshened up after a brief nap and went on a parikrama around Arunagiri. We were the only two on the parikrama, while joined us later by foot and by cycles. It is believed that Sadhus and Siddhas live in the mountain and they come out during Pournima (Full moon night) and in early mornings (ushat kala).

Mountain Arunachala has some kind of magnetic energy that attracts many sadhakas and wannabe sadhakas. Every facet of this mountain has something new for the mind and soul. There is definitely a feeling of longingness when I looked at the mountain. Is it the belongingness that causes the longingness in us or it is the longingness in us that cause the sense of belongingness? The draft of longing became intense but that only had a calming effect on the mind. There is a message that this mountain sends out to receivers tuned into this spiritual station – the station of oneness and one consciousness.

We stopped at each of the Lingams during the parikrama while our tongues were busy wagging. But this time we were not gossiping but narrating stories from Ramayana, Mahabaratha and chanting hymns from scriptures. We were tired more from wagging of our tongue more than the parikrama. It was 15 minutes to seven when we reached the main shrine of Annamalaiyaar. We had a close darshan and aarthi of Shiva and Parvathi.

We sat on the outer prakaram of the temple enjoying the food packets sold at the temple. It was satwick food again, but our choice was limited to sugar pongal, pulioyogare, pepper vadai. We walked through the veedis surrounding the temple and it there was silence and shops were shutting down already. It was 15 minutes past eight when we reached the ashram. The Devi shrine was closed and Ramana shrine was dim but there were sadhakas with closed eyes and crossed legs observing silence. We prostrated at the ashram to mark the finishing of the parikrama while our tired legs demanded for some rest. For the first time we realized that two days had gone by and we just had another day in our karma account. Unrelenting Senthil came back showered and recited a few more chapters from Chandi before calling it a day.

Senthil and I tried to set alarm in our mobile phones, but they failed and we always woke up to the call of the mountain and birds. We were early to the ashram and since this was my last day I requested Senthil that we spend more time at the Shrine and we would not go anywhere outside the premises though we wanted to visit Skandashrama and Virupaksha cave on the hill. Morning ablutions to the Shivalinga at the shrine was performed elaborately to the chant of Sri Rudram, Chamakam and Pancha sooktham. Being weekday there were lot less people in the main shrine, but those inside were serious seekers. Some of them with closed eyes and crossed legs meditated on Ramana, some circumbulated Ramana, while some had their eyes open reflecting stillness. Each of them in the room had one purpose and reason to be there – self realization. I knew this was my first trip and I could only enjoy the crumbs of silence and meditation and there was lot to be assimilated.

After a long session of meditation, I starred at the clock in the hall and it was 45 minutes past ten. I had 45 minutes before lunch and then I will have to leave the ashram to return to my world of chaos, conflict and confusion. I shed a few tears like the pre-kg kid refusing to go to school. I went to the dining hall for the last time and I realized that have never enjoyed such a meal in my life. It had a different flavor and no words can describe the flavor. My taste buds and mind buds were enslaved. It was mostly that my taste buds enslaved me but this time it was my mind that was in control of my taste buds without any conflict. I felt like a de-clawed feline and de-fanged snake, I was still an animal but instincts were gone. It is temporary or permanent will have to be answered by time.

I captured the essence of the ashram, palette of emotions, and silence and stored them in every cell in my mind and body. My eyes turned cloudy and my mind was revolting to leave, but I had commitments back home. I promised myself of doses of such silence and cure back home and frequent trips to Thiruvannamalai. Senthil accompanied me in the auto till the bus station and before I alighted for Chennai I thanked him for the trip and promised to repeat this every few months. I chugged down the bottle of water that he got me a bottle of water and found a comfortable seat to digest the dosage of silence and my emotions. I continued to observe silence during the journey except for a phone call and letting the conductor know my destination. Before I knew the 3 hour journey brought me back to the hubbub of the city. Conflicts, chaos and confusion returned. I pulled out my survival skills and haggled with the auto guy and when I got home my worries and anxieties that I left outside my door were ready to get on my shoulder.

I always gather people when I go on pilgrimages. The reason being that If don’t have enough karma points to redeem, God might decide to suddenly throw festive offer of buy one get one free and he might let me embark the trip. This was definitely a lottery for me. I felt it was Senthil’s Karma points that got me to Thiruvannamalai. Like Senthil says, all I can do is create Shadba Jalam (play with words), but mere words can’t be a substitute for an experience but still this is an effort to get more people in the path of silence (The Ramana Way).

Raman Effect is “The interaction of light with matter in a linear regime allows the absorption or simultaneous emission of light precisely matching the difference in energy levels of the interacting electrons.” While Ramana Effect is all about impinging our neurons will heavy doses of silence to calm the perturbed mind and the matter inside. Silence is a potent medicine which can cure anything and everything in life. The only way to cross the ocean of karma is through silence. Most of us are busy and we never pause to enjoy such moments of realization and silence. Our lives are so fast that we don’t even know we have passed through the moment of realization.

Only a person who is down with fever likes the porridge. Having soaked myself in silence and spirituality for two days, I closed my room and plunged into silence and some questions came back. Do I have enough karma balance to redeem again for a trip to Thiruvannamalai? But then I convinced to use my freewill and push myself every few months to such doses of silence and tranquility. While desires give rise to Karma, but I persuaded my mind and heart that such desires are healthy and wise.

When I finished this blog my friend Anita wrote back to me saying that "Faith can move mountains" and the converse "Mountains can move faith" is true too.

Courtesy Pics and Information:
For more pictures visit: ramanashramam.blogspot.com/
For information and stay visit: http://www/ramana-maharishi.org

There are buses from Chennai (Koyambedu bus terminus) that ply every hour to Tiruvannamalai. It costs Rs. 55 by ordinary bus and express bus costs Rs. 62 to reach Thiruvannamalai. If you are staying at the ashram then Rs 20 autoride from the bus stand will take you to the ashram.