My shoe-box

The biggest gift one receives from parents is a life and anything more is just an add-on or bonus. Along the way, we start furnishing life with memories, experiences; sometimes we replace them with new, but some of them will always remain priceless in our shoe-box. 

This story reminds me of my parents and childhood - http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/style/a-generous-and-unwanted-gift.html?smprod=nytcore-ipad&smid=nytcore-ipad-share 

When our big house was raced down and an apartment with 20 other families was coming up, my father suggested that we sell off our two apartments and move outside the city to into a nice independent home. But I was holding on to my childhood memories (12 cousins, 6 aunts, 3 uncles, 3 dogs, 6 cows, neighborhood children, constant stream of visitors)  in that house and neighborhood and wanted to live in that piece of land that I was born and raised. I even argued with my father, a strong-willed man, that mom was used to the neighborhood and her relatives where close by and change at that age was difficult to manage. While change too at my father's age was difficult and he felt stifled in a 3000 sqft apartment. Though most of the houses in the neighborhood have now metamorphosed into apartments, but walking in the give us feeling of security. It has been 13 years since the apartment came up and now my parents feel the six bed apartment is too big and it tires them to maintain the place and travel back and forth between the village and city and maintain both places. Wants, needs and desires keeps changing with age and commitments.

Nothing was mine or yours in that house, it was always ours. We slept with our uncles and aunts and sometimes with grandma and other days with cousins. There was no need for new sleep overs and living rooms turned into bed rooms. I still remember when the apartment was getting built, we walked in and picked our individual rooms. I felt strange to have a room for myself, but nevertheless I took a smaller room; to have a smaller space means less things I can bring back and also less efforts to maintain. 

But any given opportunity in our apartment, we all still huddle with my parents in the same bed room and until our yellow Labrador, Tyson lived, he had his silk bed (mother's silk saree turned into a bed). My mother would share the occasion when the saree was bought or the occasion it was gifted (aunts marriage, my sister's birth, Diwali) memories turned into bed. Like us Tyson had his share of dreams and nightmares and he used to yelp in the middle of the night. One of us wake up and comfort him and till he goes back to sleep.

After Tyson, it is my nephew who slept between my parents and now he has found his permanent place in the bedroom when he visits for his summer and winter holidays. He too has his dreams and nightmares and tradition of comforting continues. Hope someday he will have his own shoe-box.

Reading this article automatically opened my shoe-box and I found pictures, words and memories queuing up to get my attention and curation. A Sunday morning newspaper read is as good as a visit to a Church; it makes you feel thankful and appreciate life. Hope the read makes you reach out for your shoe-box. 

Game of Thrones and Thorns

While some governments and bureaucrats want to emulate the style and agility of corporations, the vice-versa is also becoming true. I fail to understand why TCS CEO and Managing Director N. Chandrasekharan and CEOs of many mid-size companies are any different than Mamatas, Jayas and Mulayams of the political world?

A closer look reveals that investors are vote banks for corporate houses, while employees are minorities. Freebies in the name of anniversary celebrations is just an excuse to buy the lost employee loyalty, improve morale, contain attrition and quell negative publicity. 

A few months ago TCS ruthlessly terminated employees to contain expenses, showcase better growth to investors and stockholders and a quarter later after being whiplashed by media and facing a negative brand image, they announced INR 2.6 billion in bonuses for its 10th year IPO anniversary. Result: Poor Q4 results, and TCS share tanked by almost 5%.

Like governments, corporates too play this game of starving its employees and investors and taking turns to buy their loyalty and quell negative publicity. A few quarters ago, the new CEO of Infosys gave handsome raises and even iPhones to middle management. And now TCS decides to starve its investors and its share tanked by almost 5%, while other ranged from negative 1-3%.

Human resources is like hygiene; poor hygiene can make the organization sick and weak. TCS is the largest employer in the Indian IT with over 315,000 employees. It looks like Indian Railways with constant stream of people leaving, joining and waiting to join. In 2014, the net addition was approx. 20,000 employees and with a staggering 15% attrition (forced and voluntary) the IT major is finding it difficult to keep its employee engaged and professional challenged and excited. 

Sadly, companies like TCS take pride in showcasing assembly line approach to human resources, but fail to understand that humans are not objects and they carry emotions and are brand ambassadors. They also fail to understand the principle of economies of scale. How can a company operate, manage people, re-skill talent, change directions and stay agile with 300,000 employees? TCS is on its way to becoming an IBM and is bound to suffer from itis of growth, attrition, agility, etc. 

Like regional parties that want to become national parties, a lot of mid-size companies (Polaris, Hexaware, MindTree, etc.) want to reach the scale and mass TCS. Lalu's and Mulayams of the mid-size world must understand the risk associated with operating at that scale. There is nothing wrong in having ambitions, but playing investors and employees against each other doesn't get you far enough. 

CEOs must remember that they need their employees as much as they need their customers to add value to their shareholders. They must be contented with their growth and scale, if not the games of thrones can very quickly become a game of thorns, not forget the famous words "it was like riding a tiger, not knowing how to get off without being eaten".

Modi: Can he be a successful CEO?

Sometimes a strong magnetic field can keep one awake and thinking. This is the first time I've ever been this close to a Prime Minister, yes Narendra Modi and I were a few kilometers apart, while he was in Paris. But his visit made me think more about his role and tenure. 

The title of this blog can be answered based on what the person does and performance he delivers more than the title he holds. Hardly 10 months in office and the former chai wala has spent INR 3.17 billion in travel expenses, 70% of cost of Mangalyaan (Mars - INR 4.54 billion) expedition. Though distance covered by Mangalyaan is much more compared to Mr. Modi's miles, but do benefits of his travel outweigh the space mission? Bottom line, can Modi be more than a successful business development professional? 

Rolling out the red carpet

His expedition to 13 countries to re-establish trade ties, woo FDI and corporates to Make in India and mend our political equations with neighbors in Asia will be tagged as business development expenses in accounting parlance. From engaging countries to help us create smart cities, to sell defense equipments and nuclear raw material for power generation he has got all the stalled projects moving. Though for a common man this may mean little, but it is important for him to make this travel, connect with his counterparts across the world and cleanse his image and India's image. Though Modi may not be well educated to understand principles of economics or fluent in English as the former Prime Minister, but that hasn't deterred him from building trust, friendship and restoring confidence, a key quality required for every business development professional. 

Modi and Moody: India's upgrade

His travel expenses is beginning to show a promising return on investment (ROI) and we as a nation are economically progressing. The Indian stock market has been one of the best performing in the world with the MSCI ETF (Inda) returning about 40% and Indian real GDP growth expected to surpass 8%, leaving China in the second place. Modi and Moody's have both upgraded India's sovereign rating from stable to positive by growing the FDI inflow by 26%. The HSBC Purchasing Managers' Index (PMI) zoomed to a two-year high of 54.5 in December 2014 showing robust orders from within and outside of India. To add to the tail wind, lowering of crude prices has reduced Indian inflation to a ten-year low and Indian’s foreign currency reserves at $334 billion—a record high.

Will first and then skill

Unlike India's most educated PM, Manmohan Singh (Oxford and Cambridge), who stayed in office for two consecutive terms not only lacked leadership, but also ability to convert his skill and knowledge into will to make India economically attractive. Ministers went unchecked and scam after scam perpetrated in every ministry (telecom, sports, natural resources and mining, etc.) taking governance to new lows. 

Shrewd Modi, a school drop-out, has learnt from the mistakes of his predecessor and has kept the ministers and ministries under close watch to prevent scams that can quickly tarnish his reputation. While the former Prime Minister muted himself (MMS mode), Modi mutes his ministers that has not gone down well with his critics. Modi has indeed proved that a PM needs a strong will and leadership more than Ivy League degrees. 

Attractive to Indians and safe for guests

While Modi is making India look attractive to overseas investors, there is lot more to achieve to make India livable and lovable for fellow Indians and guests. There are social, economical and political evils that he needs to fight. India still ranks low on other indices that measure poverty, malnutrition, literacy, infant mortality, child labor, women safety, etc. A strong and immediate focus is needed in the areas of education, health, infrastructure, agriculture, etc. to ensure safety and security of its citizens. 

RSS and other extremist groups need to be kept in check from vandalizing churches, making belittling statements on women, religious minorities, and advocating family planning for Muslims and family expansion for Hindus; this is harming the image of secular India, and eroding the trust and trespassing personal space of people. 

A successful CEO 

There is no doubt that Modi is a committed business development professional who has delivered on his KPIs in the last one year, but a Prime Minister is the CEO of the nation. Some portions of India Inc. and overall public are beginning to get restless. Though opening of bank accounts, reducing subsidies, etc. are good first steps, but he needs a team that can run faster relay races. 

Modi needs to redefine his role; he needs to appoint right people in his cabinet and trust them to do the job for him. He must stay on top and give instructions and monitor as opposed to micro managing them. Developing the next-line is mark of a true leader and that enables him to be a successful CEO and a popular leader. Mr. Modi, it's time to scale-up to the expectations of a 1.3 billion. 

Farmers: Vote Bank to Headlines

India’s Farmer suicides have become an item of discussion for both opposition parties and those in media houses. Sometimes the numbers can be under-reported and sometimes it is mere profession based categorization of death. Though I have my own doubts when it comes to what gets reported, but I don’t disregard human life.

Bad press

Is profession the only identity a human carries or is it simply irresponsible journalism to attract readership? From a techie being shot dead in Australia, from another techie jumping off a building in Chennai because of a broken heart, to another newly married one shot dead in Delhi – the usage of the word Techie in the headline seems to cast a shadow on the current sunrise sector of India. Farmers may be exempt from tax, but not from bad press.

Do Governments care?

Honestly, does the Government care about these murders and suicides despite techies being one of the most prompt tax-payers in the country? So why should the Government care about farmers? Most of them hold a small piece of land, consume and demand a lot of subsidies and never pay taxes. But have the media and opposition have made this into a political issue ahead of the upcoming elections in Bihar and U.P.?

Ploughing the same field

We can draw a comparison between farmer suicides and student suicides which are often precipitated by fear and failure. And there is no use taking one’s life; suicide is just a way to temporarily escape the situation and leave rest of the family in severe distress. Remember short-term compensation for farmers and moderation of marks for students are just temporary fixes and doesn’t address the systematic failure and fundamental human behavior and support system needed to wean them out of this behavior. 

Is it a sustainable profession?

Farming has been the oldest profession, though some may claim prostitution is, but I am going to debate on that. Though “Make in India” manufacturing may look like an attractive option to power-up the slowing economy and trade deficit, but being able to protect our farmers who feed the nation and addresses future trade deficit.

Every generation of farmers has experienced the vagaries of monsoon, political neglect and the associated stress, distress and financial loss. See how drought is affecting farmlands in California (contributes 70% to US food production) and in Rio de Janeiro. Today, 75% of farmers in India hold less than a hectare of land and with increasing cost of agriculture (Read a well-researched TOI article) it is not possible for farming to be a sustainable profession. 

Are subsidies awards?

As pointed out by Mr. Sharad Yadav, JDU President none from the farming community has ever received any awards (Padma awards) apart from subsidies. If Governments want to fix the problem and provide a long-term solution to making farming a lucrative, sustainable respectable profession, and turning them into responsible tax-payers they must look beyond free power, low-cost seeds, free water, and fertilizer subsidies. 

Hold up the mirror

The opposition parties and media houses own the responsibility of raising their voices and holding up the mirror to the ruling party and showing them their blind-spots. They must also push for addressing the systemic failures and look for long-term fixes if they were genuinely concerned about those headlines and protests organized on behalf of farmers. The opening of MUDRA Bank, millions of bank accounts and urging public and private banks to loan more to farmer and rich to give away subsidies is just the beginning and there is a long way to go...

End vote bank politics and irresponsible headlines

Political parties and press needs start respecting farmers like other professionals and not see them as a mere vote bank and or sensational headlines or front page stories. Political parties must carry their representatives in Parliament and Press must make them look  proud, positive, respected and valuedprofessionally. By not doing so they are killing the Golden Goose and we all know how suicidal it is to them and to the food production network that feeds the nation. Let’s respect human life, learn to be symbiotic and not emulate the life of a parasite.

Time for a Bloody Mary

I couldn't sleep after the condolence call I made last night. What kept swirling in my mind was the questions she asked me between her Bloody Mary. I decided to do a fictional letter empathizing her situation and laced a bit of salt around the rim of the glass to add punch to the drink.

Hey dude,

I'm trying to forget the past and you call me from 7000 kms away on a Saturday afternoon just to remind me of my mother and dump me with your unsolicited eulogies. What would you know about emotional difficulty behind losing one's mother? The world never let me have my due share of my mother right from my childhood including your sister; I couldn't even start my life with her, let alone grieving her death. 

My mother was a magnanimous lady, and I couldn't be cruel like the rest and push you aside and get ahead in the queue to duly get my fair share of love and time from my mother. On the days she performed you guys occupied her mornings and on the days she was unwell you showed up with fruits and advice not letting her rest. You guys robbed my childhood and a wonderful relationship between a mother and daughter. One more Bloody Mary please.

People proclaiming to be torch bearers of my mother's musical legacy camped at my house like uninvited cancer that camped in my mother's body sucking her life and giving us grief in return. When people realized my mother's time was running out they came in larger numbers and with fancy gadgets to learn and capture as much as could before she breathed her last. Such is the world and its inhabitants: selfish. Why do you think I should remember you and what we spoke during our school days? Where were you in the last 21 years? 

The 13-day rituals and never ending visitors and overseas phone calls gave me no time to grieve. Demanding priests made it worse by reading Garuda Puranam on the last evening to narrate the journey of the departed soul and how we must do the rituals and donate land, gold, silver, and cows to help her to cross vytharani (a mythical river of blood and puss that every soul needs to cross after death). Yes, Bloody Mary of another kind.

Many of you put me in spot when I didn't follow my mother's footsteps and some of you felt relieved that you didn't have to compete with me to succeed in your musical careers. So what is wrong in me asking if you were good looking and if you had children? Aren't these the same yardsticks used to compare, analyze and ruthlessly judge me? How does it feel to be in the spot for a few minutes? You need a Bloody Mary.

It didn't stop here; relatives and friends who came home for condolence wanted to know what would happen to my father, while we were still struggling to start the grieving process. Some kind souls began advising me on how to care for my father and how my father must keep himself busy. A Bloody Mary for my dad too.

I know I made a mistake by publishing an obituary in the newspaper with a mobile number along with it. I am magnanimous like my mother; I let you all have her and in return you are all sharing stories and annoying advices. I was even courteous during our conversation and enquired about your sister. Why are you still complaining? 

Despite being her daughter, I watched her from a distance like one of her listeners in the auditorium and now I'm struggling to come to terms with the cruelty meted out to me and the rest of my family. Why do you think I should even answer comdolence calls and listen to paeans to my mother? Go and refill my Blood Mary. 

I hope to move back to the home where I began my childhood to restart my life with my mother,  and this time live without any intrusion and have her sing only for me. You can listen to her copyrighted music copyrighted and those illegals ones that you recorded in concerts halls.

It is our time now....go away and never call me back. As a service to music and my mother, stop attending funerals and making condolence phone calls; they never help anyone. On your way out pay for all those Bloody Mary's and share this on your blog. 

Furious, 

Bloody Mary

Small mercies: Bloody Mary and Heavenly Music

I realized today that of all conversations holding a condolence conversation is the most difficult and awkward. One may prepare a script trying to share the best moments with the family of the deceased person and appreciate his/her qualities, yet the family could receive, respond and behave differently that makes condolence conversation even more strange and leaving you feeling unprepared and embarrassed. 

A mobile number was published in the obituary message and I decided to wait for a few weeks to share my condolences with the bereaved family. I messaged the number to confirm it was a member of the family with whom was going to speak to. I called up my sister's music teacher's family this morning; it has been a month after her passing away. It was the septuagenarian's daughter; she and I were batch mates during our school days and I met her many times whenever I went to drop/pick up my sister at the music class. We mostly discussed two subjects that brought us happiness and sorrow: upcoming school exams and inter-school cultural competitions. And today we were about to discuss to subjects that brought the same two emotions: her mother and death. Will the discussion go the same way as it did when we were in school?

It had been 21 years since we had met and when I called her I wasn't expecting her to remember me. So I introduced myself through my sister who trained under her mother for over a decade. More than 1000 trips to their house in 10 years; more than I have been to the local temple. Her house was a temple of music and students came at every hour and one could hear music all day long. As expected she didn't remember me and she even found difficult to recollect my sister. 

While she was jogging her memory, I conveyed my memories of her mother and the chaste music she rendered. She didn't sound grim or depressed and that made the conversation flow easily. In fact she sounded very chirpy and upbeat and she even told me that I must be surprised to have such a happy conversation after her mother's demise. To be honest, I wasn't not prepared for this conversation and somewhere in between she mentioned that she had gulped down three Bloody Mary's that afternoon. 

She asked me if I were on Facebook and I responded in negative. And when she asked me if I am good looking and when I didn't respond, she said she would assume that I were Prashant. I didn't know whom she was referring to and I found the conversation taking a strange turn. Is it the Bloody Mary speaking or the grief inside of her? This was a big surprise to me and she even justified by asking me what would one do on a Saturday afternoon rather than several rounds of Blood Mary? I took refuge under silence.

I remembered her as a young, beautiful, very outgoing and extremely friendly and I was wasn't expecting her to react this way and I wasn't sure if she was playing a prank on me. Don't know if she was trying to take control of the conversation, but her sadness put me in a spot. Before I could recover from the earlier volley of questions she came back asking if I had children. Tired of suppressing my silence, I spoke. I said that I had taken a path less travelled and I am single. This strange conversation made me wiggle; I was reminded of ocassions where I sat among hundreds of listeners struggling to decipher the unknown raga sung by a known musician. Why did she put me in a spot?

Given how the conversation was proceeding, I refrained from asking her any personal question. Since she hadn't recognized me (I was a stranger and she had named me Prashant) and the real purpose of my call was to express my condolence I didn't stray away from the objective. Thankfully the bad mobile signal ended our awkward conversation and I followed up with a text messaging thanking her for taking my call. But before it ended, she was courteous to enquire about my sister and said that she will pass on my regards and condolences to her father. 

I thought this conversation was about her mother and my admiration for her and had prepared a different script, while the spotlight was put on me. It suddenly felt cold, creepy, more strange than death. Is this how people cope up with grief? 

Honestly, I didn't know what to make out this conversation. Is it grief or it is Bloody Mary? Was she playing a joke on me? Is she depressed after her mother's passing away? Was there something more she trying to share by asking me if I had children? Why would she talk this way to a stranger? Is it easy to have strange conversations with a stranger? 

I ended up with a volley of questions post the call, but nothing took away my old and fond memories of her mother. I let her in the company of Bloody Mary, while I turned on her mother's Surutti rendition followed by Kaanavendum of Arunachala Kaviraayar that praised qualities of Seetha. 

Death is cruel to those who are left behind and awkward to those who have to have a conversation with their family members. None of us would survive if not for small mercies: Bloody Mary and heavenly music!