Graha Bedham

Let me first begin by congratulating the noted and accomplished Carnatic musician Sanjay Subrahmanyan for earning the coveted Sangita Kalanidhi from Music Academy Chennai. On January 1, 2016 Sanjay will be inducted into the Carnatic Music Hall of Fame and incidentally he is also one the few Sangita Kalanidhi's who've won this accolade before their 50. Other veterans ahead of him in the hall of fame are Ariyakudi Ramanujam Iyengar, Musiri Subramanya Iyer, Maharajapuram Viswanatha Iyer, Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer, GN Balasubramaniam, ML Vasanthakumari, and M. Balamuralikrishna (not in the same order). Source: http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/tamil-nadu/sangita-kalanidhi-title-for-sanjay-subrahmanyam/article7339056.ece

Most youngsters who come into performing Carnatic music set their eyes on this coveted title. Who wouldn't want to see their picture and name inscribed alongside other doyens that adorn the hallway at Music Academy? Sanjay today has become a bigger inspiration for many youngsters who are deciding to take music as a full-time career and to those who've already taken a plunge. He is a good example of what hard work can get you, even if you don't come in the lineage of Sangita Kalanidhis. His discipline and commitment to music is an important lesson to every beginner and staying away from unnecessary limelight and controversy is a good lesson for his peers and juniors.

A few days ago, I read his 4th in the series of articles in The Hindu (http://www.thehindu.com/features/friday-review/carnatic-musician-sanjay-subrahmanyan-talks-about-teaching-and-foray-into-virtual-world/article7329310.ece) and I wrote to a friend questioning the sudden PR exercise and its intent. Given Sanjay's mindset to stay away from media and unnecessary talk, I was surprised to learn so much about him from the newspaper. We have been living in the same apartment for the last 13 years and to get him to smile or socialize. Even at JayaTV's Markazhi Mahautsavam where musicians curate their shows, he keeps his curation to a minimum and let his music do the talk. 

So, it is clear that Music Academy used its media power raised the profile of Sanjay who rarely speaks. Over the last month The Hindu through a series of articles created more than awareness among the educated, elite, musically inclined and his own peers. This is the first time I'm seeing such an exercise by Music Academy before the announcement of its yearly recognition. I could never answer why only for Sanjay, can you?

I'm sure their PR exercise can't seal the mouths of gossip mongers specially given the high density in Mylapore. Though PR may not be a tradition at Music Academy, but fights and controversies amongst musicians when Sangita Kalanidhi is announced is a tradition.

Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer wanted to have the title ahead of Maharajapuram Viswanatha Iyer and he crossed swords with Music Academy. Lalgudi Jayaraman wanted to get the title ahead of Maharajapuram Santhanam andhad a fall out with the establishment and stopped performing under their aegis. So, should we look the the recent articles and announcements made by the noted musician TMKrishna in light of the recent Sangita Kalanidhi announcement by Music Academy? Isn't TMKrishna from parampara of Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer? Music comes with its share of controversies. 

We see such reactions in every profession today. Every year when appraisal results are announced we've seen a range of reactions from cribbing, bickering, learning to brown-nose the establishment, to walking out of organizations. From awards, heart burns to infighting everything is a part of tradition at Music Academy and it brings out the best and worst in musicians. So, why should the field of Carnatic music be any different and why should TMKrishna be any different from his guru Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer?

Go back and read all the articles in press from both Sanjay and TMKrishna in the last month and connect the dots. You can definitely hear Gowrimanohari at one end and Natakapriya on the other and the music world calls it Graha bedham. The annual Jupiter transit is just a month away and this year he moves into Simha or Leo. 

What Harvard doesn't teach you about Sabbatical!

When I went back to work last week it didn't appear that I was working in the communications department. There was an eerie silence and my boss stopped making eye-contact apart from severing verbal communications with me. Was it my sabbatical request? Or was there a corporate storm over the weekend that brought down all the power and communication lines? This silence reminded me of our childhood fights and how bullies in the gang stopped playing and interacting with us to get even or to make us to listen to them.

Three of us sit with him in the same room, and this eerie silence wasn't helping us to function in an healthy way. Over the instant messenger, the two of us exchange conversations and punctuated with emoticons to lighten the situation. Though one of my colleagues recommended that I do a follow-up on my request, I kept focusing on my work and I let the day pass by with any incident. May be playing cold and distant was one way of keep me away from him and away from my request? 

The following day he started to involve me in some projects that were scheduled to go-live in the second half of the year, my alarm bells started to ring loudly. Is my sabbatical request falling into deaf ears? Am I being taken seriously? I continue to contribute in the meeting and upon concluding the meeting I sent him an email reminding him of my request for sabbatical. My email brought in another wave of silence at the lunch table and now I was able to confirm that the silence is a consequence of my sabbatical request. 

Why can’t managers find a professional solution rather than turning a team member's request for a sabbatical into a crime or something personally directed at them? Upon returning from lunch that afternoon, he passed on the ball to HR with a hope that they would shoot my request down. Not long after, I had a chance to sit down with the HR and have a conversation about my sabbatical. 

The HR colleague was very calm and willingly to listen to me. During the course of the meeting she even told me that my manager could have made the decision and there was no need to have a conversation with her since there is a policy in place. I gave her my canned response for a sabbatical, but soon she wanted to have more information. She asked me about my two year experience in France. Before responding, I quipped that question sounded like an exit interview and not a sabbatical interview. Finally, the meeting concluded with the HR honoring my request and in fact I was surprised when she asked me how soon I would like to begin my sabbatical. When we are interviewed for a position we answer a similar question, how soon could you join us and this time around I was asked how soon I would want to leave. Nevertheless, the question sounded like music to my ears. 

The favorable response given by the HR annoyed my manager and instantly reaction on his facial resembled severe facial constipation. He immediately went around the office trying to gain sympathy and making my sabbatical sound like a time-bomb. He called his deputy for a quick huddle to chalk-out a survival plan and he went out for a lunch with his superior to discuss the situation. With no solution in hand, he stopped exchanging pleasantries with me. 

Every time I stepped out of the room, he would start whispering to my colleagues in the room and the whisper would stop as soon as he heard my footsteps. Internal communications office had become a water cooler. I found this behavior annoying and I even offered to park myself in another room until my last day so that they can have a comfortable conversations and not be forced to mumble, mutter and abruptly end them.

With no solutions in sight, he came back to me the following morning asking if I had any recommendations on how to tide over the situation. He requested if I could put together a job description for my role and suggest names of colleagues who could take up my role. By the end of the afternoon, I sent him my job description and shared a few ideas to tide over the situation. I never envisioned I had to do all this before I embark on my sabbatical. 

By the end of the week he started to express the real emotions in him. Now I was seen as a mini version of Edward Snowden and was considered high-risk and removed from high-profile projects and meetings. The following morning he came into the office and told me how disappointed he was with my decision and how I let him down. I quickly shut his mouth by reminding how disappointed I am with him and how he had let me down. 

I had resigned from my job on January 5, citing a few professional reasons and he made promises like our politicians and even documented them over an email and requested me to take back my resignation. A few weeks ago when I checked back on his list of promises, he said he couldn't make any of it happen. After a failed resignation bid, I felt a sabbatical option citing health and family reasons was my only way out. 

While he expressed his hidden emotions, I felt that his reaction and cold behavior resembled that of a high school bully and a feuding partner and that was giving me additional stress. I told him that I was beginning to experiencing the same symptoms that I had 3 weeks ago. So, what happened 3 weeks ago that quickly made him retract his statement? 

Come back next week to find out more. 

Sabbatical and evaluations

Taking that decision to go on a sabbatical can be very tricky on multiple fronts: financial, professional, and personal. One must be honest to do make personal evaluations on their preparedness (most importantly financial preparedness) and also be ready face the evaluations made by the society (friends, family, colleagues, future employers) and be ready with answer to their nagging questions.

Here is a funny incident from 13 years ago. I had taken a short break after I moved back from the US and one my mother's friends came home and was curious to know why I was unemployed. I told her that I had started a new business, but she wanted know more about the venture and I was not sure why. May be I was still within the marriageable age bracket for men and she had someone in my mind to pair-up with me? "Mind your business" is the name of my company, I said to her in a cool and relaxed way. Upon hearing my response her face displayed a myriad shades from green to red to grey and that cruel joke ended our relationship.

One has no choice but to go through social evaluations all through our life and put up with unsolicited advises. Before I made a decision, I searched the world-wide web, YouTube and TedX looking to learn from others experiences. Except for a few sites and a few videos very little resource is available. 

On the home front, I had no push-back and my parents were completely supportive of my decision and most of my friends appreciated my decision and a few enquired about my plans and some motivated me to keep a journal and turn it into a book that may be of help to others. 

Now I needed to write a script to making a crisp and convincing pitch at work seeking a sabbatical and also be prepared with plan b in case they choose to turn down my request. 

As a part of external/corporate communications, I had the experience of preparing a set of possible q&a before every press-briefing. Leveraging on my experience, I came up with a list of questions and short answers that don't lead to further questions. It was more of an escape pitch than an elevator pitch. 

You may have worked hard all your career, won the trust of your managers, bailed them out in difficult situations and even managed to get on their good books, but the moment you decide to take a break and move on there is a tectonic shift in their behavior. I was not Carrie Bradshaw jumping in and out of relationships, I had worked here for 5 years and proved my abilities and was recently nominated for the marketing and communications high-fliers award. Is it time fly out rather than fly high? Did all my hard work and earned trust go out the window that very instance? What happened at work that week? 

Pit Stop

We all feel tired being in the grind, and sometimes appreciations, more money, promotions, and rewards fail to motivate us any further. So, what do you do? Should you continue to work and take yourself down the path of burn out?

Sometimes work does feel like being in a war zone; colleagues and managers constantly test your psychological limits. Unfortunately, many of us unable to step off this treadmill to catch a breath and reflect before we resume, thanks to financial commitments and other social entanglements.

A few days ago, a popular Carnatic musician (http://www.dailyo.in/arts/tm-krishna-carnatic-music-chennai-music-season-a-southern-music-nri/story/1/4306.html) announced that he will not perform during the December music circus (he has performed for the last 20 years). He realized the need to pause, reflect, and reset rather than sing and dance to others tunes. Though many of us may think this is a publicity stunt, but how many of us can really take such a bold decision, stand by it and not be afraid of missing the spotlight and opportunities?

We operate in a system where everyone wants to maximize profit and treat each other like a commodity: very capitalistic. Concert organizers want to position popular singers and make money from organizing their performances in exchange for a paltry sum. Managers want you to make them successful and organizations exploit your skills, and stretch limits by dangling small carrots. 

I started school at the age of 2 much earlier than most children and have been jumping from one treadmill onto another in the name of education for 24 years, career for 16 years and trying to construct my social standing and image. Thanks to our Indian system! But somewhere I started to think and I got off the marriage treadmill and today I want to take a break from the system that tries profit from my success. 

The management education taught me to sketch fish-bone diagrams and construct decision trees to seek solutions. And the last 6 months, I have been both a fishitarian and arboreal being, living off fish-bone diagrams and living on decision trees. After a long contemplation, I announced my decision at work this week to take a 6-month sabbatical starting this August. Enviable?

Ahead of my 40th birthday, I foresee sabbatical giving me an opportunity to pause, reflect and ruminate and plan my next 20 years of pre-retirement life. It will also teach me new skills: frugality, financial discipline amongst many others. My sabbatical also gives management an opportunity to bring someone else to run the show and realize that I am no longer needed for their success. The secret of success is about sustenance; your must sustain your happiness and management must sustain their profits.

Such decisions to step off the treadmill both temporarily or permanently may look like challenging the establishment, but to get to this point needs a lot of courage, conviction and confidence. If the sabbatical doesn't come through, I will take the resignation route for the second time in 6 months leaving the management very little room to manipulate my decision or come up with a counter-offer and shovel false promises like politicians seeking to come to power.

We all get to live life once, so let's live on our terms without any regret or causing grief to others including Mother Nature. If you are caught in a similar situation like me or the musician, a sabbatical may be a good pit stop. A pit stop refreshes your mind, refuels your soul, and helps you redefine your ambition.