Voyages of the self

We have to travel alone and outward to go within in and find our peace spot. This is my first solo trip in eight years and if you think it must have been tough to go solo, you’re mistaken. I was always alone in all my relationships, so there was no switch. 

When you travel to a place without a check list or not popularised by Insta reels, you have the opportunity to look at it with a fresh pair of eyes. Moreover, you’re not pressured to recreate a picture perfect vacation selfie or Instagram Reel.

Furthermore, when you’re not time bound and not hounded by office calls and emails or the thought of going back to work, it feels more special and peaceful.

While I booked my onward journey, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go, which made it all the more special and exciting. I went back to the same place for the 5th time and this is where my mind, body and soul rejoices.

Having retired from an active corporate career, I was not time bound and I traveled by local buses to enjoy sights of beautiful villages nestled in the woods along the river and strike a conversation with the locals and understand their life and aspirations. 

Interestingly, on the train and bus trips, I met two teenage boys (age of my nephew) who weren’t distracted by their mobiles wanted to have a conversation with me on my career and life journey. This felt surreal! How I wish we had technology to swap lives. 

Just because I was on my vacation, I didn’t change my daily routine: exercising, meditating and eating healthy food.

While the sunrise is a bit later in the west coast, I rose at 5.30 am listening to the pitter patter of the rains, thanks to the monsoon season. With bare feet and an umbrella over my head, I headed to the beach for my morning walk.

The gregarious or drunken sea, however you want to look at it, had incurred the shore, nevertheless, I managed to a negotiated a small stretch for my walk while the waves continuously washed my feet reminding me that they own of this place. I came as a visitor and not with an intention to conquer or usurp.

I crossed several boats that returned with a fresh catch from the seas and watched busy humans removed the entangled fishes from the nets and sort them by sizes. Dogs and birds waited by their side like goons to get their share from the catch. 

I walked a kilometre towards the southern end of the beach and settled on a lichen covered rock. There was no urge to read the newspaper or check X for any updates, instead I caught a glimpse of the horizon, filled my lungs with fresh air and I closed my eyes for a dozen rounds Pranayama followed by meditation. 

Thirty minutes later, I fished for iPods in my bag and selected Illayaraja songs that matched the beats of the waves and moods of the sea. What a healthy dose of endorphins instead of adrenaline rushed mornings.

At around 9.30 am my stomach growled and I headed home after a quick stop by the market looking for a ripe papaya and bananas for breakfast. On the way, I noticed these leaves dancing and waving in joy. Not sure if anyone notice their spirited smile, but I stopped by them, gave a peck on their cheeks and carried home their positive energy.

After the breakfast, like an old man, I took a nap on the lazy chair rejoicing my freedom. When we slow down, we get to appreciate life and be grateful.

Around noon, I forced myself to shower, hand washed my clothes and put them out in the balmy sun before heading to a nearby restaurant for a healthy vegan meal. As I was in no hurry, I let the chef cook at his own pace. In exchange, I got my share of local news and updates from the staff. 

Finally, I returned home at 3 pm, filled my water bottle and walked back to check on my gregarious friend. Now, she had retracted her emotions and may be it was her turn to mediate or sober? 

Again, I perched on the lichen covered stone, admiring the tall coconut trees, starring at the calm sea and playing another set of melodies to match the mood and beats of the waves. In between, if I got bored, I befriended the local dogs and shared some of my nuts in exchange for tricks. If they were tired resting after playing lifeguards at night, I invited the local boys to join me for game for frisbee by the sea. If they turned down my invite, I got philosophical watching the vegetation, sober waves and activity on the shore and watching the farm to plate of priced catches form the sea.

Here is a sample : “Be hard as a rock but allow lichens grow on you. Don’t mistake kindness for symbiotic intelligence.”

I’m not an artist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy and appreciate artists and their creations. Nature is a Super artist and I patiently waited for twilight to set in and catch the magic in the sky that appeared with the rise of Moon and Venus. This happens like clockwork every evening, does someone turns on the dial every evening?

Feeling charged and grateful at the end of this sound and light show, I walked back home through the market reading the emotions on shopkeepers face to understand if their registers kept ringing or hibernating. As I retreat back into my den, I replay the images of the seashore in a loop before slipping another world. 

“There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.” - Jean-Paul Sartre

I traveled hundreds of Kilometres in these 50 years to finally reach this spot within filled peace, calmness and gratitude. I realised, there are journeys within a journey and these reflections help me identify and navigate them slowly.

They say life begins at the end of your comfort zone…and sometimes I want my life to end at this comfort zone.

Remember, our lives are a solo trip, people join us for some portions of the journey but no one travels the entire journey with us. 

What does your journey look like? Do you have a comfort zone and a peace spot that you keep going back to?

Srividya and Jayalalitha - Uncanny life resemblance

The two movie stars who I admired the most in Tamil film industry are Jayalalitha and Srividya. From boldness, beauty to being self made and trusting wrong people, both had many identical traits. While Jayalalitha was elder to Srividya by 5 years, both of them worked in the industry at the same time and acted in a dozen movies together. Sadly, they ended up living the life of characters they played on screen - Venniradai and Aboorvaragangal. 

Recently, I watched Srividya's brother's wife share the life journey and trials and tribulations faced by the actress and I realized not just people but their life stories  can bear uncanny resemblance. 

Here are some similarities I could spot

1. Their mothers were artists and sole breadwinners of the family
2. Both their fathers were irresponsible and lived off their wife
3. These women learnt Barathanatyam at an early age and were also great singers and came into movies due to family situation
4. They longed for love and care from parents who were too busy and unavailable 
5. Both of them were introverts, artistic, bold, beautiful, and adamant 
6. They had a sibling (brother) and a small circle of friends 
7. Both longed for a simple family life with children
8. They trusted the wrong men and got into relationships that brought them down
9. Both of them were conscious about their weight and explored treatments for weight loss
10. They built homes with their hard earned money that was usurped by someone they trusted
11. The characters they played in Aboorva Ragangal and Venniradai ended up being their life story 
12. Both of them disconnected with their families at some point and finally died as orphans  and were given State honors with a grand funeral

The popular belief about seven "doppelgangers" seems true and may be we could have 7 identical stories too? Let us explore the other 5...

Outreach in the time of COVID -19

The COVID-19 is impacting humanity, economy, life and livelihood like we've nothing seen before. It has spared no countries and comes in multiple waves leaving millions scarred and scared. 

We all know of a friend, a colleague, a family member or a family who has been impacted by this lethal virus. Many of us freeze when we receive that call from a dear/near to informing us they tested positive and every minute following that turns anxious and nights become sleepless until the person recovers. 

I put together some notes based on my personal experience from when a family member and a few friends  tested positive. Here are some outreach tips.

Ensure you have the following supplies at home during this time. Please don’t hoard!

1. Pulse oximeter
2. Thermometer
3. Paracetamol tablets 1 strip
4. Cough syrup 1 bottle
5. Vitamins and Zincovit tablets
6. Steam inhaler and Karvol Plus capsules
7. N95 Masks and gloves
8. Hand sanitizer
9. Spirometer for breathing exercise
10. Face shield 
11. Mask for nebulizer
12. Dettol
13. Domex

Check if someone in your close circle has a nebuliser that you can borrow incase of emergency. Rest of the medicines will have to be prescribed by a registered medical professional.

Notes for those of you who wanna help your family member/friends who test positive.

1. Don’t out them on social media or to your friends unless it is absolutely needed.
2. Keep track of their treatment, consultation and medicines.
3. Check on them once or twice a day for any help.
4. You can order grocery, medicines, Dunzo home cooked meals (ask them what they would like to eat), schedule test and doctors appointments.
5. Don’t give advice or overload them with links and videos on what do to - they are best left to doctors.
6. Keep track of critical medicines, beds, oxygen, etc. in your city and how you can get hold in case there are in need.
7. Be patient and think calmly.

Some of my friends have tested positive, so some wisdom for you all.

1. Take a RT-PCR test if you have any COVID19 symptoms - fever, sore throat, conjunctivitis, headache, stomach issues, etc.
2. Check your SP02 (blood oxygen saturation) every two hours and write it down.
3. Consult a Covid doctor (Apollo, Narayana, Fortis, etc. have virtual consultations) when your RT-PCR turns positive. - You are not a super person to fight it without medical help.
4. Be responsible and inform people who’ve come in contact with and ask them to isolate and test.
5. Create a small network of friends who can keep tabs on you - order medicines, grocery, arrange home cooked meals and schedule your tests/doctor appointments.
6. Some workplaces have setup up Covid help desk- keep those numbers handy.
7. Inform your society and stay within the 4 walls unless you need to go out for CT Scan.

With media and social media highlighting suffering due to lack of beds, oxygen, etc. everyone is petrified of this virus and often end up panicking when they get it. Watch this video from a Doctor to Covid patients:

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you’re going through now and it will become part of someone’s survival guide”.

Yoga, the reset button

Have you every pondered over life and lifestyle being interconnected? For example: Some of us stay up late on weekends, party hard, eat late and as a result disturb our body and sleep rhythm. And next morning we wake up feeling tired, foggy in the mind and distracted and drowsy throughout the day. This continues to the next day and becomes a habit if we don't step in and take control of our schedule. I'm sure you must have experienced this on several occasions.

Unfortunately, most of the diseases today including diabetes, fatty liver, hypertension and stress are all related to our lifestyle. Yoga is a great way to keep these diseases at bay and helps you easily reset life and lifestyle.

Cleanse life and lifestyle

I've been practicing yoga since my school days and decided to make it a daily routine in the last 15 years. As yoga is practiced early in the morning, I'm forced to hit the bed early so that I wake up feeling well rested. Moreover, Yoga requires the practitioner to eat sattvic food so that one doesn't wake up feeling lethargic or with an upset tummy. In short, Yoga helps you nip bad habits and negative thoughts in the bud.

Detox body and mind

Our daily routine and what we consume has a bearing on our mind and body. The asanas in yoga not only corrects our posture, but also ensure various organs of the body function well and secrete right amount of hormones. The regulated breathing exercise, calms the mind, keeps it agile and negative thoughts at bay.

Personally, yoga has helped me stay fit and keep medicines away. It has also helped me stay mentally agile and perky and physically flexible and in shape. I always travel with my yoga mat and it has always been the best way to start my day wherever I am.

You too can discover the power of yoga and experience the benefits and the unlimited potential it holds! Take your first step with can do attitude, without self doubt and keep marching. Anyone can start learning yoga and there is no age restriction. 

Native Village and Kula Devata Worship

A particular god worshipped in our lineage for generations is referred to as "Kula Devata". Srirangam Ranaganatha is the kula devata of Ikshvaku Family, the dynasty in which Lord Rama was born.

Usually, Kula Devata can be either a male or a female god and is back in our native village. Most families have a single deity while some the have multiple deities as Kula Devatas.

Due migration from villages and passing away of elders at an early age, families loose connections with their native villages and kula devata. During difficult times they consult astrologers who point them to go back and worship their kula devata for peace, prosperity and good health.

When a women gets married they start to worship the Kula Devata in their in-laws place thereby taking the tradition to their next generation.

While many of us may have moved from our native villages and forgotten the responsibility towards those deities. This is similar to the responsibility we have towards elders in the family. Those of us who know our Kula Devata, should make it a point to visit and take their blessings at least once a year and definitely before major life events such as weddings, child birth, upananayam, etc.

Also, every 12 years when temple consecration is held all natives should make it a point to fund the expenses and reconnect with deity and people of the village. Let’s not give up on our ancestry, identity and ensure we pass it on to next generation.

My mother maintains a file on all temples and has prepared a calendar of worship and marked down temples where the family has the responsibility to offer prayers on select auspicious days. We have the responsibility to offer prayers on the 3th and 4th Friday in Aadi (Kataka masam) at the Shiva temple at Kunniyur and 3rd and 4th Friday in Thai (Makara Masam) at Kamakshi temple, Kunniyur.

See a short video that documents our native village (Kunniyur, Thiruvarur District), native deity (Anandeshwara and Ambiramavalli) and kula devata (Kamakshi Amman).

Mourning a Big Loss!

On June 29, 2020, one generation lost their youngest sibling and another generation lost their eldest sibling. Though she was my dad’s youngest sibling and we addressed her aunt, she was hardly 8-10 years older than the next generation which made her dear to us.

I remember her almost in every scene of my growing up years. As a child, I crawled into her music class and listened to her sing. When I started kindergarten, she dropped me and my brother at school on her way to college and picked us up on the way back. And one time, when she had to undergo an eye surgery for squint correction, we threatened to jump off the car and made the driver take us to the hospital on the way to our school. Then every night after dinner, she told us stories from Bhagavadam and instilled faith and values in us and this went on till she got married in 1983.

Me standing in front of her

The house wasn’t the same after she got married and left. Those were days when phones were used only for emergency purposes and we would crowd around the phone every time she called and longed to hear her voice. Rather than elbow each other for a chance to speak, I found another way to keep in touch with her, through letters. I was 8 years and I started writing to her and she would promptly respond and I remember this ritual went on till I finished college and moved overseas.

We kids would impatiently wait for the summer holidays and I remember going to the train station to receive her each year. That’s the excitement she brought into our lives. She visited almost every year without fail and spent two months with us. When she left to her home at the end of summer we all cried and felt sad. And couple of years when she couldn’t come down for a visit, I visited and spent my summer with her. What fond memories growing up with her!

Many years ago we visited her place to participate in function; she gave us a grand welcome. And when we had to depart she broke down and we decided to stay for an extra day to make her happy. That’s kind of bond and affection we shared with my dad’s youngest sister.

Whenever someone in the family was unwell or sick, she performed special prayers for their recovery. When she fell sick a few years ago, I prayed to the same gods in the stories she told us as kids, but none of them helped her recover completely. When she had to stay back in the hospital for the day, I remember leaving my lunch for her. There was so much care and reciprocity in our relationship.

And today, a week ahead of her 37th wedding anniversary, she breathed her last. How could she leave without saying us good bye? Sadly, none of us could threaten anyone to get there and pay our respects and tell her the never ending love and joy she gave us. Though we may be 15 years apart, she was my elder sibling. No one can take her place in our hearts and she will continue to live in ourmemories. 

Hope her 2.5 year old grandson will one day read this blog and understand how special her grandmother was to us. 

Wake up now - There is no Second Chance!

Mother Nature has a unique way of making us realize our mistakes and only those who introspect and observe minutely will be able to decipher the message. And the lockdown gave me an opportunity to reflect on my behavior and human behavior in general.

While the Coronavirus is judged as ruthless by scientist and medical professionals, it hasn’t been partial. It infected the famous like Tom Hanks, Boris Johnson, Kanika Kapoor, Chris Coumo, etc. and lesser known mortals including healthcare workers, policemen, cab drivers, vegetable vendors, etc. 3 months into the pandemic; it continues to affect infants, kids, and middle-aged people, frail and elderly and has taken away two hundred thousand plus lives globally.

While the scientists are busy working on vaccines, and economists are busy putting together plans to revive global economy, I was busy questioning my actions and our collective actions. Do we deserve this harsh sentence? Let’s introspect together.

Before this tragedy struck, we were all living a hectic, monotonous and meaningless life chasing all the wrong ambitions and non-essentials. In order achieve our dream career, we left home at day break, ignored our family and health, and outsourced our children with day care and nannies. We spent hours in traffic getting to and back from work. And on the weekend, in the name of unwinding we engaged in binge buying, binge eating and binge drinking. We kept borrowing money to outdo each other on luxury, class and standard of living.

Greedy CEOs, CMOs and CHROs exploited our misplaced ambition and priorities. They sold products and services that were unsustainable, enamored with meaningless careers and fooled shareholders with peanuts called dividends. Despite knowing this lifestyle isn’t sustainable, we all ignored our inner voice and went around like hamster in a wheel.

It is true that nature fulfills our basic needs and not greed. And this was evidently visible during the pandemic. None of us can complain that we never got produce and food during this time, while toilet paper is luxury. Organizations and governments started to focus on the basic and essentials. For examples, car manufactures went on to produce ventilators; fashion brands produced masks, etc.

Globally stock markets saw a correction after inflated indices. The overpaid CEOs were forced to take 25% cut in their salaries to keep their businesses afloat. Some of the sinister industries were made to shut their shops and announced thousands of layoffs. Governments that earned revenue by indiscriminately converting forests into IT parks, and residential areas, sand mining and polluting rivers, selling liquor, and endangering wildlife were almost bankrupt and forced to end wars focus on the welfare of people – food and health. Those farmers who got greedy and poisoned the soil and atmosphere with chemicals saw their produce sent back to earth.

By working from home, attending to our daily chores and ignored family members, we were able to temporarily step out of meaningless and monotonous routine. Finally, we spent more time at home for which toil 20 years of our precious life to pay mortgages, engaged with our parents, spouses and children, picked up phones to check on our friends and loved ones. We realized it is possible to live without domestic help, cook, etc. and by sharing work among members the family became more responsible and cohesive. Also, we realized a life without visiting bars, malls, gyms, cinema halls, sports, concerts, cruises, vacations, entertainment was possible and meaningful. Lavish weddings and mournful demises have become a private affair. Those expensive Benzes, Porches, Bentleys became useless objects in our garages and driveways. We must be thankful to nature for accepting “Internet and mobile phones” as a basic need.

Flora and fauna used this break to rejuvenate themselves. Rivers across the globe saw a drop in pollution and aquatic life thrived again. Wild animals came into cities to reclaim their lost territory. Also, we've seen improvement in air quality since the lockdown. 

Sadly, when we humans wanted to report our plight and ask for forgiveness, all gods shut their doors on us. Churches were shut for Easter; Mosques were shut for Ramadan prayers, and Hindus temples cancelled their summer festivals.

Stop blaming China, Wuhan, Wet markets, Tabliqi and even Donald Trump for the current Pandemic. 

The Cornonavirus offers a moment to reflect on our priorities, lifestyle and ambitions. It is shown us it is possible to live a sustainable life without luxury. Let’s use this opportunity to learn from our mistakes and build sustainable habits because there is no second chance from Mother Nature.