Chennai V Phobic

I was so thrilled when I saw “Vagina Monologues” (VM) on TOI’s Chennai festival and there I was frantically calling the newspaper office every day to get a front seat to watch the vagina and enjoy hear her sob stories. Do I sound sadistic or sardonic?

My enthusiasm was so high that I started referring Aug 27 as V-day in my calendar at work. Every time I called them or wrote to TOI it was a woman on the other end (am I blessed or cursed?) and I was cautious not to mention the first word and always with due respect and piety I referred to it as the program on August 27. The city can be proud of me – I am a gentleman!

Is Chennai the City of Angels? The city apparently seems to have a problem with vagina. Is it phobic or just itchy? VM was in Chennai a few years ago and orthodox Chennai found the vagina too hot to handle and sin to lend their ears to her. They vehemently shooed her away.

This time the vagina was back desperately hoping to make her debut in Chennai. Her enthusiasms and desperation put together was more than the libido of youngsters in the city. I thought the time had atlast arrived for Mamis to have their voice heard in public. But apparently Mamas’ know how to muffle the cries. The moral police guarding the city shooed her away high and dry. I was annoyed and disappointed beyond consolation when I heard the news.

What is with Chennai and vaginas? Why does the city get stickier than vaginas? Is it yeast infection? Is there a tussle between the city and vaginas? When and where did this hate stem from? Doesn’t it sound so gay to hate vaginas! But aren’t vaginas safer with gay men?

Does Chennai have happy Vaginas that they need not hear the story of sad and sulking vaginas? I thought I will get to see one atlast for free, but orthodox city still seem to have a problem with vaginas. The truth is that “No vagina comes free”. If I ever wanted to see one I will have to spend on a flight ticket to Mumbai to catch one. Does it sound corny or salacious?

I am going home with a lot of unanswered questions, may be this how much close I will ever get to a vagina! Am I sounding like a VM? Well this is a “Penis Monologue”!