“Marriage” for the mended heart!

I went to the hospital last weekend (60 days since my last visit) for a scheduled check-up. The guard outside the cardiology department stopped and asked why I was there. Before I could finish the sentence he looked up and down and asked, “Where is the patient?” Finally I had to cut back on my enthusiasm and wear a “patiently” look to gain entry.

It was impossible to find a vacant seat that morning in the OPD. With patients swarming the hospital staff at appointment desk, the place looked like a bee-hive. Computers were down that morning which added to the chaos at the appointment desk. I patiently stood by the desk for the staff to finish answering queries from patients. Finally the staff looked up and said, “how are you sir?’’. I was happy that she remembered me and before she could ask more I put out my hospital Id to block an appointment in the system to meet the surgeon.

While I waited to see the doctor, the duty nurse measured my BP, Oxygen saturation, weight and pulse. At 84 kgs, 110/70 BP, and oxygen 96% saturation, I couldn’t feel anymore healthier. I was then asked to go see the surgeon in his first floor cabin. I left my shoes at the door, held a smile in my lips and my reports in my hand and entered the surgeon’s cabin. I wished him and then said “PAPVC correction” and slipped the report under his nose. He picked up the report and invited me to sit on the examination chair besides him. “Left Upper Pulmonary Vein (LUPV) anomaly is quite rare, he said. So was he going to give me a caning or a candy?

He asked me how I felt after the surgery and if felt any difference at all. To be honest I never felt any discomfort before to find any difference after the surgery. While I responded to his query, he lifted my tee to check on the surgical area. I could see the smell of AXE deodorant made his olfactory nerves happy, but there was something else that kept him concerned. Let’s come to that later.

I complained about the stiffness around the surgical area when I took deep breaths and his response assured that it was due to fibrosis and should vanish in the next six months. He took out his Steth put it on my chest and asked me to breathe in and breathe out. He then put down the Steth and ordered for an “Echo” just to ensure there was no turbulence or deposit around the anatomized vein. He also said I could resume my normal activities (gym, yoga) and start travelling again.

While writing his observations and recommendations in the report he reminded me that I was not a cardiac patient but recommended to repeat the Echo every six months and consult the cardiologist and free up his time for other sick patients. Sounds funny, huh? But then there was one piece of information on the file that seemed raised his concern. What did he prescribe? Any guesses?

He said, “You are now healthy and all ready for every kind of physical activity. So it is time for you to get married”. I kept mum and took a few extra breaths to gather my response, while he gave finishing touches to his signature on the report. Like any obedient patient I told him I was committed to keeping my BP at 110/70, my stress levels at bay and free up his time for other patients. He approvingly smiled and scored off the only tablet on my menu and prescribed marriage (for the sake companionship) for the mended heart!

In a society where marriage is considered an elixir (for everything from headache to body pain to psychological issues) I was only suprised that the prescription came after surgery. But nevertheless, I felt my personal space and choice was very much violated with the unsolicited advice. When will this free prescription stop? Will the society ever look at single people as healthy and honorable and marriage as a personal choice?