When I tuned the Ham radio last
weekend, I intercepted a weird but an honest conversation. Just like we
earthizens worry about comets being spotted in the sky, meteors invading the
earth, and Venus coming between Earth and Sun, the two voices, sounded like
aliens, were discussing about the Presidential race in India.
Voice
1:
Her term is coming to an end soon.
Voice
2:
Whose pregnancy are you talking about? Ash delivered Beti B long back!
V1:
Oh
come on, I mean India’s first Women President. The lady drapes a cloth over
head and looks older than Monalisa. But I must confess that both women have a
mysterious smile on their face. BTW, her name is Pratibha Patil’s and her front
teeth jut out like a squirrel.
V2: Does
Presidential race mean anything in India and to Indians, given the history?
V1:
Oh,
don’t be so quick to decide the 60 year old presidential history in the country
based on the outgoing president, but look at the precedents. Remember, the
President of India enjoys executive power, judicial power, military power,
diplomatic power, financial power, and pardoning power.
V2:
Really?
I thought the President post in
India is ceremonial (spelt as seri - menial, seri in Tamil means ok!)
V1:
Haven’t you seen how influential Dr. Abdul Kalam turned out to be? He used his
executive powers diligently when Sonia wanted the Prime Minister throne and he
connected so well with the masses that they want him back on that seat. He is always a People’s President.
V2: Well I
have only seen Ms. Devi Singh tour countries, behave like a rubber stamp and
now exercising her pardoning powers to convert death penalty to life term on
her way out. Btw, she hasn’t extended her pardoning powers to the killers of
Rajiv Gandhi.
V1:
The
Presidential race has created a
calamity in the nation. It has brought out the devilish side in allies, created
rifts with the party, brought together accomplices and exposed the old rift
between allies. Chief Ministers have suddenly realized their power and started
to throw their nominations at the ever hungry press that turns every sneeze,
hiss and kiss into breaking news.
V2: Don’t
get me started on the press, though we all know that Press is the first half of
“Pres”ident!
V1: Jaya“Lolita”
and Nitish Kumar (Bihari Babu) were the first ones to announce their candidate.
And when Mamata and Mulayam Singh came forward with their list of candidates,
it appeared the UPA was headed to a tumultuous collapse. M & M’s press meet
dwarfed Jaya and Nitish and made them look stupid, but Mulayam’s sudden “U”ttar
Pradesh turn smeared the misthi all over Mamata’s face. And on the day of UPA’s
announcement of Presidential candidate, Sonia dressed in a green saree with pink
border emerged like a lotus in a pool of marsh.
V2: Sonia, Pra“nabbed” to ensure Congress has some hold even if her party doesn’t form the next government at the Center. Despite he miserably failing as a Finance Minister, she elevated him
to the post of President. Is that a promotion for performance or for
non-performance? It is definitely a democrazy!
V1: News
Channels turned the occasion into a reality show. They professed their own
conspiracy theories, put up their scenarios and numbers and almost go ready to
declare the result way before the election and bring in mid-term polls. They indecently
hounded party spokesperson, leaders and candidates for sound and video bytes
that turned into dynamites!
V2: BTW, I
didn’t get to see Renuka Choudhary, the Silk Smitha of Congress on the dirty
picture. BJP spokesperson Nirmala Seetharaman when hounded by Arnab Goswami on
Times Now last week, kept herself cool and aloof like our neighbor Pluto. She
is my choice for India’s President.
V1: The
nation never knew PA Sangma came from a Tribal community and they were suddenly
jinxed and jolted when he asserted his candidature on behalf of 100 million
Adivasis in the country. Where was he when the tribals’ revolted against Posco?
And when his own party, NCP didn’t support his candidature, he resigned from
the party. BTW, Sangma on the interview made Kalam contesting the second term for
President sound like Shobha De’s serial marriages (read as escapade)!
V2:
All
said and done, our friend who
launches objects from earth into our space, the respectful Kalamji kept away from lights, camera and microphones, while
ensuring he has enough propellant to get him on the orbit and on a victorious journey.
But in the end it turned out to be a “Rash”trap”athi moment for him.
V1:
Opposition
leader and his NDA alliance are still deciding their nominee a week after UPA
decided theirs. While CMs within
their parties ignored the
Presidential nomination are busy fighting and finding a secular candidate for
the PM post. I thought it race was for the Presidential seat and there was still time for the PM seat.
V2: Sadly the presidential race turned the country
into a mad house and brought out the ugly side in allies, regional parties,
press, Chief Ministers, and candidates thereby humiliating the institution of
democracy and people's faith in electing the first citizen of the nation.
V1: It is not our land, so who cares if it is Rashtrapathi Bhavan or “Rash
trash pathi Bhavan”? Before Kapil Sibal intercepts our conversation, blocks
the airwaves in the space and intrude our freedom of speech, let us sign-off! Rahul has been out of action and in hiding ever since UP poll disaster. Watch you if he is loitering somewhere in our part of the galaxy.
