Religion and Decision Making

When my dear friend narrated the story of his 6-year marriage, I heard him without judging his marriage or the two people in it. Sorry, there are three people in it, and she came in 4.5 years ago, and is now both fulcrum and tug-of-war of the marriage like the Somaskanda murthy. Since I have been single all my life, I neither have the experience nor wisdom of Naradha to give away any free advice or play the role of a counsellor. All I could do was remember him in my prayers and call upon the unknown and unseen force for some intervention, solution and solace. Isn't that the approach to life taught by our elders?

Next morning, I went into my prayer room and stood in front of the pantheon of Hindu gods asking them for help. And as I starred at the pictures frames of Shiva and Parvathi, Vishnu and Mahalakshmi, Ganesh and Karthik, and other incarnations I was reminded of their life stories, which looked like a prelude of many of our lives.

A lazy and chauvinistic uncle (protector) who is in a reclining pose with one of his wives eternally seated by his legs and massaging them, a freak father (destroyer) who is in the company of pot headed followers, while showcasing his hotheaded side when he beheads his first son Ganesh. 

Another four headed uncle (creator) who gives away blank cheques (boons) and then runs for his life. This isn't it, all three of them constantly engage in fights with their wives and curse them to be reborn and atone for their sins before letting them back in. Is it an Ozzy Osbourne family?

 

When you see their next generation you able to agree with the proverb that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. The first son takes to emotional bingeing and becomes a poster child for obesity. The second one embroiled in sibling rivalry develops inferiority complex, and flees home before he is found on top of a hill. Eventually when he grows up he follows his father and uncle footsteps engaging in bigamy, while his elder brother remains single may be was affected by his parents marriage? Doesn't this look strikingly similar to children from wealthy and celebrity families, whose parents are trapped in failed marriages?

If this is not a dramatic enough, the reclining uncle engages in a cross dressing act and hotheaded father falls in love with his beauty, while their respective wives are still committed to their spouses and their so called functional marriages. What a debauchery!

Sadly, their incarnations on Earth haven't been any different or better. Born as Rama, the King of Ayodhya, the reclining dude deserted his wife and two children. As Parashurama, he killed his own mother at the behest of his father. Aren't these horrible examples to seek inspiration from?

Despite hearing only one side of the story, I failed to find for words of hope and wisdom to comfort my friend. And as I exited the prayer room, I realized the pantheon of gods to whom I have been religiously praying all these years are good examples of dysfunctional families, tales of bigamy and debauchery, kids and nothing but stories women trapped in domestic violence and bad marriages, etc. and nothing more. 

While religion may have other interpretations to judging their actions, often backed by karma theory, I was definitely convinced not to ask my friend to look towards religion or scriptures for wisdom or decision making. Rolling a die and decision based on the outcome seemed far more logical than asking the question what would Shiva or Vishnu do in this context? Or using them as a inspirational characters who can only provide a sense of false hope.