Is there a Key to Happiness?

The word “Happiness” is such a clichéd noun, yet has not lost the sheen and glitter. We’ve seen people discuss this on emails, when they get together and over the phone. Aren’t you in a state of euphoria when you say you are happy? Is there something called happiness or is it just a state of mind? Do both material and immaterial things bring happiness? Is happiness tangible, and can it be measured? Can we conquer happiness or is it an ever fleeting stage that one can never achieve? Can it be retained for forever? How do you think people would define happiness across different age categories? Well questions are innumerable and they can go on forever, while answers are terse and simple.

Dictionaries define happiness as state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. This is a very interesting definition that throws open the room for a lot of debate and discussion.

I have underlined the term “State of Well-being”. What can this mean? It can mean differently to different people depending on their wants and needs. N&W changes according to the way of life, age of the person, emotional quotient, and economic status. For some happiness is born after the basic needs are satiated, while for some happiness comes when their wants are satiated.

Abraham Maslow’s theory on hierarchy of needs states that people ascend the pyramid after their psychological/physiological needs like food, shelter, clothing, security are satisfied. Need is a basic requirement without which life cannot go on. Wants are the luxuries in life and is a never ending list for anyone and everyone.

For a toddler, chocolate, ice creams, and cartoons would mean happiness. Happiness for a teenager would be pocket money to buy a few things, trendy clothes and other fashion accessories. For grown-ups the same happiness is derived from driving a good car, able to give a gift to his girl friend, while that for a middle aged person would be to have a home of his own, kids getting educated, understanding wife. Retired folks would have a few different things on their list to qualify themselves to be happy. Frequent trips to spiritual places, good health, well settled off-springs and grandkids. Sadhu would consider attaining salvation as happiness. For Radha happiness was divine unison with Krishna, and for Gopikas happiness was time together with Krishna.

Don’t you think the list above for each of the category is their wants and not needs? Needs and wants are not the same for all people. Darwin said only the fittest survive. Do the fittest feel happy? Not necessary, they can call themselves the fittest survivors, but they may not be happy. Don’t our wants become needs and the list grows exponentially as we continuously survive? Everyone reaches the want level only when their needs are fulfilled. The bar always keeps moving higher and higher and there is a never ending race. A Prince’s need would be a pauper’s want. A pauper’s need would not be more than his basic needs to survive.

Once when I going around the city clicking some scences I noticed a homeless person loitering on the roadside. I decided to strike a conversation with him on various issues. Later on I asked him if he would pose for a picture, he immediately did. When I came home I looked at the picture more closely and there was something in him that was missing in people around today. There was so much happiness and contentment in that soul and there was no spec of pretence in the photograph. Remember he is a homeless person and his days and nights are by the roadside. He doesn't have money and fat bank balance like us. He picks garbage sorts them and makes his living. He has no big dreams about life and is not ready to conquer the world, amass a lot of wealth like many of us. His wants and needs are very basic and minimal. His good night sleep on the sidewalk is much refresshing and fulfilling than the many of the insomaniacs that toss and turn on the durotex matress and airconditioned rooms yet struggling to let them mind and body rest. As Ramana Maharishi said, Happiness is the state of mind. A rested mind, deviod of any attachment gives rise to everlasting happiness. You can call it anandham, paramanandham, or bhramanandham.

Contentment to intense joy in happiness depends again on various factors. A beggar who has not had a meal for 5 days will feel excited upon having a full square meal and contentment will last till he gets hungry again. Contentment is more at a need level and intense joy is more at a want level where one gets to enjoy the luxury. The same beggar may be excited or thrilled when he gets a ride in a Mercedes.

When I was a kid my priorities then decided my happiness. Needs and wants then tuned my mind to the state of happiness.
When American consulate stamped my visa I felt I had a license to join the privileged and I belonged to the elite society.
When I had my multiple Masters my ego was higher than Alps and I thought I knew everything on earth and I was God.
When I first made my six figure salary there was euphoria and I felt the real money power.
Driving a car gave me a sense of achievement, but when the question what next arrived the state of happiness cease to exist.

Very soon the perfect journey of life that I had worked for and the right I had ended abruptly. Who took it away? Where did it go? Why was I raped of happiness? Upon pondering very deeply and analyzing the entire state I was able to take in a few pearls of wisdom.

Definitely happiness is a relative term and it is a state of mind rather than state of well being. The state of well-being cultivates and prepares the mind. While most of us settle for material happiness, some of us throw away material happiness derived from power, money, ego etc. and tune and cultivate our mind for the sublime stage.

For the materialistic souls happiness is an ever fleeting stage, they are near it but yet so far. A spiritually enlightened soul would not distinguish between happiness and sorrow. Though that is the desired state well the majority of the population falls outside the curve.

Today happiness means so many different things to me….
Holding nothing back, sense of detachment, sharing and caring, living together, able to reach out other folks’ emotional and basic needs, not avaricious for wealth, power, moving from a self-centered ego centric approach to a selfless diffusing sublime being, throwing the self away, dissolving in the state of no belonging.

I don’t know if I am yet there, but it is a long journey and I am still preparing the mind for that ever euphoric state. I think I have found my key to happiness. Keep visiting may be you will find me in that state someday where emoticons will be of no use to me.