Top 10 communication strategies to learn from politicians

Does art emulate life or life emulate art is one of those proverbial questions. After 15 years of working in the corporate world, I find the work atmosphere at times very toxic, political, and the need to showcase and promote oneself to move up in the corporate ladder. Here are a few interesting and popularly known stories from the political world that you may want to remember for your corporate journey. 

Silence is not golden, but speak when needed

During 2004-14 in India, many event organizers before the start of the program requested the gathering to put their phones on MMS mode. MMS stands for Manmohan Singh Mode aka mute mode. Every time MMS failed to speak up and address on key issues including corruption scandals, his silence and out of turn communication by the UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi costed him and his party dearly in the national elections earlier this year. This incident is shows how one man's failure to communicate often leads to another man's success. 

Don't ignore that which glitters - create visibility

Swaminathan Anklesaria in his recent TOI column said Bollywood is the language of the nation and not Hindi or Sanskrit. His theory seems even more convincing when you look at the background of many politicians who've ruled Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh (now Andhra and Telegana). From NTR, MGR, Karunanidhi, Jayalalitha to recent CM aspirants Chiranjeevi and Vijayakanth. These politicians have diligently used the reel life to attract followers to their ideology and win the throne. Many of these politicians along the way realized the need to have their own TV channels ( JayaTV, KalaignarTV, SunTV, CaptainTV) to get across their version of story to the masses. 

Foot in mouth disease - choose your battles wisely

We have communicators like Kalignar Karunanidhi, 4 time Chief Minister of Tamil Nad, who has earned duly admirers through his timely quips, eloquent language, and word play. Then you have people like Mamata Bannerjee (Blabberjee) aka as motor mouth, often seen on the front page of newspapers openly challenging the Central Government and opposition parties. Her efforts often appear to be mere attention grabbing gimmick with less substance and blaming the media for misinterpreting her statements. Not long ago, during the Presidential elections in 2012, Mamata's words caused her embarrassment and made her to walk out of the UPA alliance.

Your success brings you enemies - manage perception

Before the election both BJP and Congress exchange and engaged in a war of words and throwing muck at each other. While the Congress party and it's members continue to verbally assault Modi, but the man had focused on building political equations. Modi hasn't made any personally comments/criticism on anyone and infact he wished Sonia Gandhi's birthday on her birthday, which made him look like a large hearted person in the eyes of public and Modi came across as one who looked at opponents beyond elections.

Losing the sheen - start with a bag of tricks

A good example is the Aam Aadmi Party; their meteoric rise happened when The national wealth was plundered by the ruling party (Common Wealth, 2G, etc.) and there was no redressal by the ruling party. Timely anti-corruption messages, hunger strikes for the passage of Lok Pal bill earned them a good mileage, but their their repeated hunger strikes and jail bharo stunts caused them their fall. 

Don't be a loose cannon - measure your words

Lastly, we also have loose cannons in every party from Digvijay Singh in the Congress party, to the most recent Sadhvi Niranjana Jyoti who not only caused embarrassment to her and the party, but also in affected smooth functioning of the Parliament causing policy paralysis and loss to the exchequer. Sometimes, you wonder if malfunctioning is a part of their strategy to get attention like what we often see on the fashion floors.

Communication can be therapy - build your network to follow

From conversing with random strangers sharing their stories, giving them directions and free advice, Indians are open and talkative people by nature. May be that is why NaMo decided kickstart his election campaign earlier this year on Twitter and Facebook proving that an Indians listen, like and retweet as much as they talk and re-share. Once a chai wala , today, Narendra Modi is the second most widely followed leader on twitter with 8.6 million followers and second to the American President Obama with more than 25 million followers. When you are in the highest office in the country and it can get lonely and you want to share as much as you want to hear over tea on Twitter and social media can be both a sounding board and a free therapy session.

Breaking more than ice - be appealing to the masses

If metros to an extent helped us break the caste barrier, social media has gone a step ahead by breaking national, language barriers and helped specially Modi in his image makeover. Best example is again NaMo; his recent tweets in Japanese while in Japan and a tweet in Tamil wishing Superstar Rajinikanth on his birthday on Dec 12 helped him instantly connect and find a corner in the hearts of respective audiences. 

No RTI for personal life - Ignore old skeletons

Atleast there is an opportunity to deny a RTI request when it comes to knowing Government secrets and spends, but when you step into public life there is nothing to protect your past and future. Indecent media and opposition hounded Modi and his wife from whom he separated 4 decades ago. I'm sure we all have skeletons in the closet, but learn to ignore them when they try to wake the up. Skeletons are dead! 

Revival as much as survival - Let them make a U!

Let us not forget that media had tainted Mr. Modi as once a key conspirator in the Godhra riots and this year the man is on the Time Magazine Person of the Year contenders list. It is only through constant, appropriate and convincing communication Modi could win the votes of people in the largest democracy. The upcoming J&K elections will prove if social media can further go ahead and help political parties win religious votes on the opposite side. 

As a communication professional, I find it interesting to analyze the political stage in Indian and pick out examples of good and bad communication and what we can learn from them to manage our destiny in the corporate world. In fact, I have often told my colleagues that communication is like hygiene; no one takes notice of it until it is absent. So, keep it hygienic and communicate to win!

Upgrade, Vacate, Welcome (UVW)

In my last blog, I asked a fundamental question: who is a Brahmin? In this blog I look at the other side of the coin: who is a foreigner or a non Hindu? Who keeps a religion alive and refreshed?

Before I go into the issue, let's go back to 1798, Madurantakam, a small town near Chingalpet, Madras. The people of Madurantakam sought the help of the then British Collector at Chengalpet Lionel Blaze to protect the temple from the floods. That night the British Collector had a divine vision, which he believed prevented the lake from breaching. 

The collectors vision of divine brought about new faith in him and he allocated 1000 pagodas to get a portion of the temple constructed. This incident is etched in the history of the temple and confirms that the Hinduism is open to believers and patrons.

Let's come to October 2014. My friend Richard who has recently moved to Chennai visited Kapalieshwar temple with his family. Richard is eager to learn about Hinduism and understand more about one of the oldest religions in the world. But outside the sanctum reads a board "Only Hindus allowed". Not sure if Richard asked why, but I kept thinking about it.

It happened to Nandanar, a Dalit saint believed to have born between 7-9th century. He was not let inside the temple; his faith and devotion outpoured as hymns that moved the bull in front of the Lord Shiva.12 Centuries later this discrimination still exists in Hinduism and specially temples in South India. Why does Hinduism continue to be exclusive to a few and keep those eager to learn and understand the religion outside the gate? 

Leave alone Hindus and non-Hindus, many temples in Karnataka still have separate dining halls for Brahmins and Non-Brahmins and some villages in Tamil Nadu follow two-tumbler system. Adi Shankara himself upgraded rituals and practices to prevent people from fleeing Hinduism to Jainism and Buddhism that was born because of scarificial worship and other in-human worship practices. 

While pockets of inclusivity does exist in some temples, but not everywhere. You may all know Lungi dance (Shah Rukh Khan in the movie Chennai Express), but not about lungi seva at Sri Rangam temple. One day in a year the Muslim community visit the temple to present a lungi to the deity that he adorns and parades the streets. This symbolises Hindu Muslim unity, respect and brotherhood. Even at Tirupathi temple there is a statue for the Wife of Delhi Nawab, who was an ardent devotee of the deity and is revered and worshipped as "Thulukka Nacchiyaar" (Muslim Lady).

Let me bust a few reasons that are offered by learned Hindu scholars who deny admission of foreigners (non Hindus) in the sanctum in many of Hindu temples. 
- Because non Hindus (also read as foreigners) consume meat and liquor - Many of my Hindu friends consume meat and engage in other vices liquor inclusive.
- Because non Hindu women (also read as foreigners) don't observe strict rules during their menstrual cycles - Some of my own cousins don't practice these strict rules anymore.
- Because non Hindus don't observe the same rituals as Hindus and as a result are considered impure - I know many of my Brahmins friends who've stopped wearing their sacred threads and have stopped performing their monthly and annual rituals for their deceased parents and ancestors.

All religions that are currently in existence in India was either an offshoot of Hinduisum (Buddhism or Jainism) or came from outside of India and successfully found defectors. Trade relationships and conquering of East Asian countries (Cambodia, Indonesia, Burma, Thailand,etc.) by Chola kings led to the spread of Hinduism and customize their own version of Ramayana. One can find proofs of this in the world's largest non-functional temple at Ankorwat. Hinduism was open to new comers and its scripture was also open to interpretation and adaptation (like Open source). But what happened in the last few centuries?

Richard and family live a Hindu lifestyle: strict vegetarians, don't consume alcohol, follow Ayurveda and observe many of our disciplined practices yet continue to worship from outside the sanctum without any complain. Can't the divinity that accepts lungi in Sri Rangam and devotion of Nawab's wife in Tirupathi, accept and accede to other seekers waiting outside? 

Lastly, I leave you with the same old question, who is a Hindu and why are they given a special birth right despite not following the stipulated practices and rituals, while those interested to follow aren't given access and acceptance? 

In my point of view, faith is universal and religion should be open to all those willing to follow its practices. Remember, a religion ceases to exist without followers. If you are a Hindu reading this blog, ask how many of the 63 Saints in Shaivism and 12 Saints in Vaishnavism were Hindus and what they had to go through to get accepted and later worshipped in the religion. 

Every religion has blind spots and blind followers. It is time to upgrade the religion to retain those feeling stifled, vacate those needing fresh air, and welcome those feeling attracted. Let's get started by shooing away the bulls!

Universal Health Care in India: For PM to Act Now!

PM of India is getting ready to roll out Universal Health Care for economically weaker sections which is a welcome move. But there are issues regarding accountability, quality of health care and facilities. Here are 5 radical moves that can make PM's UHC program successful:

1. Make it mandatory for all MPs and MLAs to get treated in Government run hospitals. If they opt for private hospitals then it must be funded from their pocket or private medical insurance. This will ensure better quality of service in governmental hospitals.If MPs and MLAs get treated in Government facilities, there could be more accountability and improvement of service levels.
2. Set-up more feeder hospitals or primary health centers in rural India and appoint more doctors to manage influx of patients from the free universal health care. This will help patients to be screened and appropriate cases referred to the next level.
3. Medical college students in private colleges must complete their house surgeon year in one of these rural hospitals. This will help students understand rural India and their medical needs and also make a decision on where to focus wrt post-graduation and research.
4. Quality check all medicines that are supplied to Government hospitals to prevent situations like the recent incident where poisoned medicines and botched sterilizations killed over 14 mothers.
5. Lastly, get in PPP model and FDI to manage and improve quality of service and upgrade facilities at many of these Government Hospitals. This also provides employment in rural India and MGNREGA scheme can be tied up to these hospitals.

The Brahmin Tag

Tags are for bags and not humans, said my friend. I have had a few personal experiences in the past and recent past that reminded me of Karna's story where his tags of birth and caste discriminated him and pushed him down the path of adharma.

Karna, the first son of Kunti was disowned by her, let in the river and was found and raised by Charioteer. Discriminated began when he approached Dronacharya to accept him as his student. Dronacharya assumed that Karna belonged to the Charioteer community and turned him down as a student. Karna later approached Parashurama and lied about his caste to be accepted as his student. Soon after he invoked his guru's curse when he found out that Karna was a Kshatriya and not a Brahmin. Sadly, Karna faced the brunt of his caste that brought him grief, discrimination throughout his childhood and the last straw was when he was not allowed to compete in Drapuadi's swayamvar because he was not allowed to compete with other kings. Finally, this pushed him to side with Kauravas in return for respect and acceptance in the Royal clan. Let me park Karna's story aside and come back to my life. 

A colleague in my Paris office recently asked me if caste system is prevalent in India. I was surprised by the question and I was not sure if it really did or did not. I was confused if I should put forward the story of Karna to showcase how caste was deep rooted in your culture and epics. He quickly came back with another question that further surprised me. He asked me if I belong to the Brahmin caste. I told him that dividing people along the lines of caste is cruel and declined to give him my answer. I didn't want to sound rude and I explained how during the last census in India, I had instructed my parents not to answer any questions pertaining to caste or religion. 

I didn't answer my colleague directly, but instead decided to test his understanding of caste system. If it were India, people would have deciphered from you first/last names and sometimes by scanning your torso for the "sacred thread". Hardly had I finished my sentence by posing him back with a challenge and he was ready with his answer. "You must be a Brahmin," he said. I was shocked at his response and asked him how/why he decided I could be one. Without any hesitation he said, "you are well educated, intellectual and strong-willed (arrogant). I didn't know if I should smile and take it as a compliment or walk away from this rubbish classification that is following me in Paris like Karna's curse. 

Let me rewind back to 2008. That time I was reporting to a manager who was married to a Brahmin woman and always spoke high of Brahmins for their razor sharp intellect and strict adherence to values and ethics. Is it still the same? Looking back, I realize that I was naive in letting him take advantage of my honesty and kindness by depositing his son's engineering college capitation in my bank account and making me issue a cheque to avoid any financial probe and leaving the tax implication on me. But soon enough the Brahmin virtue of honesty and kindness turned against him when he coerced me to steal the marketing budget from my current employer and help him prepare a budget for his next employer. I remember signing forms where I agreed not to trade my employers property and pass it on to competitors. When I failed to oblige to his request and I was threatened of dire consequences in the upcoming appraisal. 

The fanatic Brahmin gene in me challenged him by sermonizing at the final appraisal at the end of our lives and how our Karma decides our next birth and not our managers. That late evening conversation ended our 5 year professional relationship, but reinforced my sincerity towards my employer and commitment to honesty and righteousness. 

A few years later, I once again took my manager head-on when he hadn't conducted my appraisal despite multiple reminders. When I righteously reported the matter to HR, I was given a chance to be appraised, which only turned out to be a hogwash and a check in the box exercise. I was forcefully fitted into a rating that was assigned by the system. The appraisal system, so called industrialized that works based on a code, ruthlessly allotted me the default rating that I term it as fate/karma due to my upbringing. But then isn't it my duty to question when righteousness is not being followed? 

Krishna in Mahabaratha points at three dharmic people for their silence during perpetration of injustice and holds them responsible for the death and destruction of Kuru dynasty. Bheeshma, Dronacharya, and  Karna. Inspired by Mahabaratha, I continue to fight injustice done to me and to my team mates often caught in the famous bell-curve and quotas system for promotions. 

And recently, I was told that I'm being a typical Brahmin and that I'm too humble and don't promote my work and create visibility within the organization. The history of my experience clearly says that my efforts were undermined and I was exploited for my timid nature, sincerity and honesty. Does it bother me, not any more. 

Is it really my fault or is it my genetic make-up and I'm unable to peel and live up to the expectations of crony capitalism? Like the tectonic plates that collide often, the yearly  appraisal time brings me to the conflict zone between ego and values. If only Bagavad Geeta was told before the battle of Kurushetra, so many deaths including that of Karna could have been prevented. Like many other Brahmins I have used teachings of Bagavad Geeta to deal with life situations and keep me on the track of dharma. 

Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana – You have the right to perform your actions, but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions.

Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani – Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty.

These days, I've stopped analyzing and crucifying myself and whenever I am stabbed at the back I read the chapter on Karma Yoga and supplement it with Newton's third law. Hinduism confirms that present experiences are result of my past actions and gives me the maturity from seeking revenge. 

Though people are often tagged and discriminated as Brahmins, it is important for everyone to understand the true meaning of the word "Brahmin" and learn what to do and what not to do from Karna and our epics. Bagavad Gita was not for Brahmins, but was open for any one to interpret and follow. Fortunately or unfortunately, those who decoded the message behind it and lived by it were tagged as Brahmins (one who seeks Brahman or truth). As centuries rolled by Brahmins (embodiment of satwa guna) became the bellwether of the society and were looked upto for guidance and support. This sense of responsibility eventually gave Brahmins the intellectual arrogance to perpetrate atrocities by diving and controlling the society based on caste. Is this discrimination that I experience today a result of my past karma? It may very much be true! 

Unlike Karna who decided to side with Duriyodhana to avenge for his discrimination, I've to resigned to the logic of karma and path of karma yoga. Let us not forget that Pandavas had to go through their share of experiences to expunge their past karma (metallurgy terms it annealing) before justice was served. Nothing would happen without the will of almighty and karma. And going back to the educated guess made by my colleague in Paris, yes, I continue to be strong willed and steadfast on the path of righteousness and incidentally I'm being called a Brahmin for my lifestyle and qualities.

So, now you know who a real Brahmin is and you can become one just by living those values - there are no barriers to entry. We've all seen and heard about those born in orthodox Brahmin families living unbrahminical life - in reality birth doesn't get you anything and you if you want to become one just modify your lifestyle and outlook. It may take a few years for it to start its pay back and a few generations to start making a change in your DNA.

Next time someone tags you a Brahmin, feel proud and live up to the real meaning of the word. Not sure if the Brahmin tag will do you anything good in this society driven my materialism and discrimination, but if you live the real meaning of the world, you will reap the benefits. Remember, values cannot belong to any caste or creed or religion, and it depends on the inner quality of the person - irrespective of birth, family or faith. Let's all become real Brahmins keep this world happy, clean, and intellectually charged.

Masterchef or Machiavelli?

I just finished watching Season 5 of Masterchef US, and I must confess that some amazing cooking and inspiring talent came on this show. Week after week, watching the 19 episodes made me hungry even after a heavy meal and sometimes I caught me biting my nails in nervousness. At times, I felt the comments of the three judges and personalities of contestants were unreasonable and played to the gallery. Should I blame the typical American reality Television?

Be it the creative and super-sized Willy, muttering Malibu Leslie in his 50s, super confident Courtney or mysterious Mediterranean Elizabeth, they brought fierce passion to the Masterchef sets. The backgrounds of these home cooks may not be appealing, but I must agree that America definitely has grit and contestants have what it takes to compete, showcase their talent and prove their worth to win the title. 

But this season winner, Courtney's behavior when it came to team cooking sucked. Her fuming spirit came through in her personality and tongue. She played her games when it came to pairing up wrong people together and eliminating strong competitors. Is it the capitalistic attitude? 

What does Masterchef test in a person: acerbic tongue, short fuse, conniving personality, manipulating skills? Looking at who won the title this time, Masterchef doesn't need one to be a team player or possess leadership skills. 

That takes me back to the question, what takes it to be successful in life? Is it expertise, leadership or both? 

Courtney is a individual contributor and in a group she morphs into a hyena. This is something we all see in our professional lives. Her micromanaging and volatile personality makes her a fire-spitting monster, a trait that we again see in many of our colleagues and managers. 

So, what does Masterchef test in contestants? Is it their skill or spitefulness? 

Courtney may posses skills to be a good chef, but has many shortfalls to be a Masterchef. If she were to open a restaurant, I'm certain the attrition rate would make her the one employee restaurant in America. 

If a home cook must graduate to be a Masterchef, he/she must possess or cultivate the leadership and team management dimension to be truly successful in the real world. Can't talent and goodness co-exist?

I sincerely hope Masterchef producers will reshape the reality show to inspire talent and not belittle them for shock-value. I hope Gordon Ramsay and his colleagues in real life are more than Masterchefs and not Machiavellis.

JJ Verdict and Some Learnings

I've been up since 4.45am Paris time watching Indian television online from the moment Jayalalitha  and her coterie left their home in Chennai before Rahu Kaalam. I had 4 cups of filter coffee (a true Tambrahm) discussed with Tamil friends on Skype (they understand Amma Puranam), followed trolls on Twitter and awaited justice like others. A tweet even said Jayatv was playing the movie "Viduthalai". Would the day pan out in her favor?

I was discussing with a friend that Karnataka is her home ground and losing in your home pitch is a humiliation. Let's not forget that she decimated every party in the recent Lok Sabha Election, hardly 4 months ago.

After two hours of wait, I felt that the Bangalore special court should have used smoke signals like the Papal Community to communicate with the anxious public. At one time, I even thought may be the Judge is having her BMI measured to ensure if it is proportionate to her wealth. But that is not what disproportionate asset case is about.

If she was convicted, the future of Tamil Nadu seemed dark (like power cuts), given the current ruling party is a one woman show and the opposition is tongue tied in the assembly. The last time a national party like Congress ruled Tamil Nadu was 50 years ago and ever since the throne of corruption was occupied by the two Dravidian parties. Despite not speaking Hindi, the DMK ministers perpetrated the 2G scam. DMK didn't even contest the recent Mayoral and Municipality elections, which shows how confident they were about their win or humiliation.

While awaiting the verdict one of my friend messaged me on Whatsapp saying that she must be forgiven by the court. But then I asked him why do we forgive a person who denies her wrongdoings? Logically, doesn't forgiveness come after confession and realization? 

Jayalalitha is a complex individual made of courage, insubordination, dishonesty, and arrogance. When the Government employees picketed lines in Chennai, she boldly invoked ESMA and sent many of them home. When the courts asked her to appear she got an exemption disregarding judiciary. Moreover, she used her power to tamper evidences and delay justice before the SC finally got involved and moved the DA case to Karnataka. And she also walked out when the interviewer on the Hard Talk show on BBC grilled her on her cases. Given her volatile temper, insubordination, and how ministers prostrated and worshipped her, isn't confession too much to expect from Amma? 

Finally, like the contrived Bollywood climax, she complains of chest pain and brings the famous Paneer Pugaielai (tobacco) back after the verdict. Urrgh! 

When I went back to check the social media trolls, none except Mr. Swamy from BJP expressed their emotion on Twitter, a platform that is popular among the ruling party at the centre. A few who shared, went with a boiler plate text that said we respect judiciary. Some BJP supporters tweeted that Jaya's verdict eclipsed Modi's US trip and his UNGA speech. I'm sure Jaya didn't want to steal Modi's thunder. There were also no tweets from Rajapakse, her bitter enemy.

Today is also Purattasi Saturday, a special day for Perumal and specially Varadaraja Perumal. Btw, let's recall how she heckled Kanchi Seers a few years ago acussing them of a murder at the same temple and arresting them in a pre-dawn raid in Mehboob Nagar in Andhra Pradesh. And now it is all coming back. Even before the Amma Cement dried up, her wall of fame came down with shame.

Though the world remembers her opulent walk during foster son's wedding, today the world didn't get to see her repentive (a good assumption?) walk into the jail. Jail time is not bad, it gives her an opportunity to reflect, realize and ruminate. Isn't that the philosophy of life? I hope she doesn't turn more bitter and spiteful. Haven't we witnessed her revengeful past?

Given the length of jail time, I don't think there is much left in her political career. She rose like a Phoenix bird every time she came down, but this time the rise is questionable. She will be 71 when she comes out of jail and at 77, she will be allowed to contest elections again. By then Amma products and schemes would have expired, and her cut outs vanished. Tamilians known for their short memory would have forgotten her good and bad deeds and would have voted for another Cinema star for a Chief Minister. 

Let me end my ramble with some food for thought. My friend said that in astrology we say Chevvai Dosham (Mars dosham), but in JJ's case it is Sahavasa (friendship) Dosham. Friendships can either elevate you like the one between Arjuna and Krishna or pave way for your downfall like the one between Karna and Duriyodhana. So, beware of your friends circle. 

Hope the severity of this verdict will put fear into the erring political class and will be dawn of new era in Tamil Nadu (an end to freebies and corruption). Those involved in Coalgate, 2G, Commonwealth, Saradha, etc.must get ready for their turn. Karma is a bitch and sooner or later it catches up with you. 

Ganesha's day out in Paris

When the French vacated their colonies in India, many Indians felt a deep connect with the French and came along with them to France. But when they came over they carried undeclared priceless items called faith, culture, and tradition in their hearts that airport scanners couldn’t detect. And the Republic of Francaise welcomed them, let them practice their faith and carry on their traditions. The Ganesha Car Festival in Paris is a testimony to the mutual love and affection.

The car festival for Ganesha organized by the Trustees and devotees of the Manikka Vinyagar Temple, rue Pajol, Paris has been a tradition and this year it fell of Aug 31.

 

Discover Mada Street in Paris

Rue du Fbg Saint Denis, can be compared to our North Mada Street in Mylapore or any street around a temple in India. Smell of jasmine and agarbathi competes with spicy curry smell emanating from Sangeetha and Saravana Bhavan. The cash and carry stores sell everything from beetle leaf, banana leaf, tender coconuts, jack fruits, and something that we may never find in India: yes, honey mangoes from Pakistan. The tailor shops, salons and beauty parlors with Indian music and cosmetics only bring back memories of home in a beautiful way.

A day out with devotion

A week before devotees were asked to register their names to be a part of paal kudam (milk pot), thee chatti (fire pan), kavadi (a mini palanquin decorated with peacock feathers). The first two offerings are for mother goddess and the last one is for Karthik, younger brother of Ganesh.

I noticed the fervor when I boarded ligne 5 at Oberkampf. Women were dressed in sarees and children in traditional Indian clothes and it felt like a suburban train journey in Chennai carrying people from Velachery to Mylapore Kapali Temple car festival.

When I arrived at Rue du Fbg Saint Denis, both sidewalks were clean and just washed. All shops suspended their business for the day and had set up a table with lamps, Purna kumbam, and coconuts mounds smeared with turmeric and vermillion to welcome Ganesha and invoke his blessings. They had even decorated the sidewalks with maavilai (mango leaf), thoranam (festoons from coconut leaf). It was a day out with devotion.

India recreated

Women decorated their hair with jasmine flowers and forehead with vermillion, while men were dressed in dhoti and vibuthi smeared on their forehead. Chants on Ganesha from Ganesha Pancharatnam by MS Subbalakshmi to devotional songs by Sirkazhi Govindarajan recreated the same ambience back home.

First came the Nadhaswaram (wind Instrument similar to clarinet) with thavil and melam (Indian drums), followed by women carrying milk pots and fire pans and then followed men in rocking their kavadis back and forth to the chants of Arohara. Coming from a country famous for child labour, it was heartening to see young children carry a kavadi in Paris. Yes, it was responsibility of faith that was being transferred to the next generation.

Nibbling on faith

Just before the car with Ganesha arrived men furiously picked up the coconuts and smashed on the ground. In fact, every store had a coconut mound smeared with vermillion and turmeric. To me the smashing of coconuts sounded like 10,000 wala (fireworkds) on the eve of Diwali. It was heartening to see some local children pick up pieces of coconut and nibble on them.

Propelled by devotion

Despite the car being small compared to the temple cars in India, but the devotion was no less devotion in the gathering. Men held the two thick ropes tied to the car and propelled by the power of devotion.

 Over a few thousands had congregated yesterday morning to take the blessings of Ganesha and I never knew Paris had so many of Indian descent. In fact many locals had also brought their children along with them to watch the spectacle. Culture and tradition is passed on through education and show & tell.

The fashion capital has room for your faith

We’ve often heard and seen fashionistas boorishly printing Indian gods and goddesses in footwear and bikini. Is it even possible to find your respect for your faith in the fashion capital? Did you see the pictures and the videos? So, what do you think?

Let me leave you with the thought that a family friend shared, “You cannot take the India out of an Indian.”

Establishing your tradition and faith in a city where you live is how you it your home. Tradition and culture connects you to the roots and gets passed on to the next generation through practice and getting kids involved early is the trick. So, stay connected to your roots and culture, retain your identity, practice your faith without harming others and remember is what makes the East an attractive destination for the West.

Now you know why I call Paris my second home. Yes, home is where the heart is.

To view videos and more photos: https://app.box.com/s/acjcllsbam62bc5guyu3

Journey from Home to Home

Though I had cancelled a few last day appointments to be with my mother, I was at a family friend's house till 11 pm assuaging the anxiety of another mother who had sent her son to Paris for his master's degree. I couldn't snap myself out of the conversation we had on marriage and why/how I choose to be single. Let's keep that for another time.

My mother had to call me once and remind me that I had a morning flight to catch and that I must hit the sack soon :). We never show our affection at home and there are no hugs when you walk-in the door after 15 months and there are no good-byes when you leave. Even my 7 year old nephew didn't give me a proper good-bye. But my mom ensure that I get to taste all her delicacies and my favorite dishes during my stay. My father was so busy when we grew up that he would never know which grade we studied in and the history continues...today he had no clue when I was flying back to Paris and we had a short phone call as I was preparing to leave. 

Leaving the house after having mom's filter coffee, stopping by Warren road Ganesha for a short prayer and breaking a coconut, calling grand mother on the way to the airport and getting a friend to drop me at the airport are all what makes Chennai my home. 

I have often asked the question what makes India and Indians special? Well, I asked my fellow Indian passenger at Mumbai airport if I could borrow his phone to call my mother. Without hesitation or a second thought he offered me his phone. During my conversation with him, I found out that pre-paid option with Vodafone doesn't need 5000 Rs deposit and I could do chotta recharge (say 50 rs) and continue to receive SMS for free and make calls at a nominal charge. It was mandatory that make a short call every few months to India to keep the card active. So, let's learn this option and say goodbye to expensive Matrix (Matricks!) and rip-off Vodafone post-paid connections.

Sukanth Rallapatti on Friday said, "if it happens again we cannot call it luck anymore". Yes, I was again bumped to business class on the return journey to Paris and this time it was less dramatic and I was not asked to deplane. :)

Btw, two years ago when I travelled on Jet Airways to the US, I had a horrible experience both ways and I even wrote about it and got canned response from their Marketing team. Not sure if I should call this upgradation an atonement for bad service then? You get back your dues in life!  (http://whaterhole.blogspot.in/2012/08/on-flight-of-lies-from-newark-to-chennai.html)

For the first time ever, I didn't feel I was missing Chennai, though Chennai comes immediately after my mother in terms of my love quotient. After 15 trips and 15 months of stay, Paris feels like a second home. I was going to see a good friend on the evening of my return and I was going to visit the Indian quarters on Sunday and hand over packages that I brought for my friends from their loved ones. I also was looking forward going back to work and giving away little trinkets I got for my colleagues including copies of The Hindu and TOI newspapers (Chennai edition) for my dear friend David. For David, who is planning to move to India with his family, it is now a choice between Chennai Super Kings vs. Kolkata Knight Riders. And I'm trying to influence him to go to Chennai. Let's see! 

Btw, I'm met two Gujarati guys in Mumbai Airport and we became well acquainted on the flight journey and the train journey back to Gare du Nord. We have already made plans for  khakhra meet next Sunday. He says he has 30 member Gujju team and now this Chennaiites will join them to spread our Indianess in Paris. Jai Ho!

Figuring out friendships

When I returned to India in 2004 after a gap of 7 years, I felt like an alien in my home city and I was running low on Vitamin F. Yes, handful of my good friends from college were living in different continents and that was also pre-Facebook era. Don't we all know how much can Facebook substitute for physical presence? 

And finally I experienced the same feeling Surya experienced in the song New York Nagaram from Jillunu Oru Kadhal. It is not easy to put together a friends circle, especially in your late twenties; when your attitude and thoughts are not very amenable and your thinking is rigid and outlook westernized (looking for return on investment, living a single lifestyle, etc.).

Friendships can be easy and messy

But interestingly, in India, unlike the West and it is easy to forge friendships and people here go to any extent to keep their friendships alive. Is it still true to find such deep friendships in the nation where Karna and Krishna fought for their friends to win the battle at Kurukshetra? Is this true even in the age of social media? 

After being stood up by my relatives, I realized the importance of friendships and I consider them more important than having a partner. Over the years I've made efforts to strengthen my connections and friendships through hobbies and interests, which I felt is the only way to extend expiration life of friendships. But I never brought all of them together; unsure of how well they may get along with each other.  A friend of mine had invited all his close friends for his 40th birthday and two among the invitees ended up crossing swords and that wrote the end of their friendship.

Efforts to stay connected

An email that I received from a dear friend whom I had known for the last 10 years ago made me think more about friendships and how I consider it a precious asset. He has seen me through tough situations and helped me through tough decisions in life. In a world were some friends fade away like shooting stars, we have stayed in touch through Skype calls almost every weekend. On the day of the recent Indian election results, we Skyped until 6 am East Coast time discussing results and outcomes. During our weekly Skype calls we spoke about current affairs, discussed our professional life, what we cooked/plan to cook for the week and exchanged information of our parents well-being. We rarely discussed people!

Silence explained and communicated 

It was over a month since we Skyped and my friend had written to me excusing himself for being unresponsive and uncommunicative over the last few weeks due to various reasons. Since I was on a vacation I had all the time time to read all possible newspapers online and share interesting links with him. He usually writes back after reading them, but was silent this time around. His silence didn't bother me, until he explained the reasons. Several years ago  he sent me an email informing that he will be out of pocket for sometime so that I don't misconstrue his silence. There is nothing wrong in silence, when communicated and explained. 

Friendship: A mixed bag

In the last ten years, I parted ways with two possible life partners and a dozen friends. When I analyzed them, I found some friendships were not deep, some were fragile, some ends were driven by ego, some hijacked by marriage, and some driven by the need to possess and control. I was also at fault in many of these failed relationships; sometimes I ruthlessly judged them and disposed them. I've never asked myself what was expected of me in this relationship and often I felt that relationships were not reciprocated and not emotionally rewarding. In some instances I felt my friends showed me so much love and kindness than I deserved and often wondered how I was going to repay them, even if they never expected anything return. Sometimes I fear I might disappoint them and hence kept myself at a distance.

With expectations and expiry date

Truth is that all relationships happen for a reason, very much begins with the end in mind. Every time I ended one, I introspected, flagellated myself and looked for learnings ways to avoid next dramatic precipitation. Today, I have a few individuals who I refer to as my friends and I've tone down my expectations and I have I've even restricted frivolous usage of the word friend. Despite the tag given to relationships, they all come with both expectations and expiry date.

Recently, I had emailed an acquaintance asking if he would find time to meet up with me during my India trip. His response was rather surprising. He addressed me as an NRI (non-resident Indian) and narrated his experience from meeting NRIs and how cram too many meetings in a day and how their meetings lacked quality time. Not willing to disappoint him or disprove him, I politely responded that I will meet him when I become a resident Indian. 

Feeling of helplessness

Though friendship gives me a feeling of fullness, it also leaves me with a feeling of helplessness and indebtedness. Bala who took me around the West Coast, but didn't let me pay for the trip, David who pays for my lunch every time we meet at Sangeetha (Paris),  and Dr. Sink my professor from college who has only shown me kindness from first day we met. How can I forget Kishore who ensures I'm well fed when I visit him, Vinodh who fills my fridge with cooked meals before leaving my house in Paris and Sukanth who wakes up at 3.30 am to give me directions to his place and waits till 3.30 pm in the afternoon for us to have lunch together.

All of us want to have friendships, but not all of us have the maturity accept our failures, give more than we receive, or take responsibility to set things right. My friend's silence would have gone noticed in this noisy world, but his proactive communication helped me fine tune my senses and be more perceptive of our friendship. Appreciate your friends, forgive each other's follies, communicate silences and pauses and nurture them to keep it fresh and long lasting. And it if still withers, don't blame yourself.

 

North or West Chennai is Best

I was on a city-hop this week touching a revered spiritual town in the God's Own Country and then going back to the city where I got my heart fixed, before heading to our national capital to witness the Independence Day Parade at Red Fort. The last time I was in these three cities were over 3 years. A good time to compare and contrast, isn't it? 

The argumentative Indians

Be it journeys or conference calls, conversations about weather can often be a good ice-breaker. Given that Chennai was in the lower 30s and humid, it didn't help to break the ice, but rather melted it immediately. A student from Delhi was traveling with me on the train journey to Kerala. He is student at Vellore Institute of Technology and had wonderful things to say about the institute. Very soon the conversation quickly drifted to Chennai, meandered around hot wether, cold and unkind people and ended up berating them for not speaking in Hindi. A clichéd view of Chennaiites from those coming from North.

I halted his words and asked him a fundamental question: what makes India diverse? Isn't it our 26 languages, numerous traditions and cultures? Isn't food is a way to find a place in a man's heart and also explain our diversity?I shared some snacks and savories with him I pointed out how similar the Tamilian mixture is to Namkeen from tHe North and Chivda from the West. And when I handed over a mini-Badhushah from Grand Snacks, I told him how this was not made from khoa unlike the ones made in Delhi. Finally, he agreed that our differences and adaptation makes us culturally rich and similar. 

I wanted to ask him if he was not adequately warned by about Chennaiites and why he didn't take an effort to learn the local language rather than expect the locals to learn his language. With the Central Government recently caught on the wrong foot over Twitter communications in Hindi and UPSC exam row, I decided to stay quiet and instead started writing this blog.

God's own country

Now coming back to my first destination; A few things never change and among those are mother's love, joy of a baby's smile, and adherence to traditions and customs in Kerala, despite apartments and malls mushrooming on the one side. Btw, Kerala weddings are still under 10 mins and I can't comprehend what it would be like if they shrink it further.

I was at the counter outside Guruvayoor temple waiting to deposit my foot wear and the person from behind was in a rush to deposit his and in the process his slippers touched me accidentally. The man at the counter noticed that I was wearing a sacred thread and chided the guy behind to respect Brahmins. I was taken aback that people still had reverence for Brahmins, who were once considered a priestly class in the society and who lived their life guiding the society. Though Kerala is a biggest consumer of beef in India and cows are being killed in hundreds every day, one can still find vegetarian restaurants that proudly announced "Brahmin Food". While today, Brahmins in many parts of India and around the world have forgotten their traditions and were turning omnivores. 

Temple is the only place that is untouched by strikes in Kerala. They still opened at 3.45 am to P.Leela's rendition of Gnanapana. Men and women wore white mundu, generously used coconut oil on their hair, smeared their forehead with sandalwood paste. Despite studies putting Coconut oil in bad light (high cholesterol), people continue to use in their cuisine. Lastly, when you hear parents yelling Jomon, Joby, Nivin, Rejish, etc. or come across these on the chart pasted on side of the bogie, you feel assured that Kerala and Keralites are still routed in tradition. 

My heart beats with gratitude

The overnight train journey from Thrissur to Bangalore was very comfortable. Before I got on the train I managed to pick a packet of ripe banana chips for my friend. That night I travelled on carriages that had bio toilets and which didn't discharge on the tracks and leave a trail of filth behind us. I also went to bed early and managed to wake up at 3.15 am to get off at KR Puram station.

Auto guys in Bangalore aren't as bad as those in Chennai and I was able to convince him for 1.5 times with no extra money. At 3.30 it was a 30mins ride by auto to my friend's place at HSR Layout. During the journey, I remembered the big dig three years back and traffic snarls, and today I traveled on the completed flyovers on Outer ring road all the way until Silk Board and the ride was a breeze. 

A second bed and blanket was ready for my arrival at my friends place and when we woke it was almost 9am. I don't know if I should call it a privilege or a blessing, but he had taken the day off to spend time with me and making it memorable for both of us. His 1BHK apartment was very much identical to my den in Paris, but he stayed on the last floor and had access to a open terrace and also had a roof garden.

He asked me to stay in the kitchen and continue talking to him about my life and stay in Paris, while he chopped cabbage for curry, chopped apples for gojju (his grand mother's recipe) and a typically Andhra sambar. After a nice sumptuous lunch, we napped a bit (in my friend David's parlance "rice comma") before heading out to the theatre to watch Kailasam Keechaka (a character from Mahabaratha). Rangashankara is hot spot for those into theatre. The doors were shut at 7.30 pm sharp and we were strictly instructed to turn off mobiles phones keep them muted until the end. During the 90min show we only heard dialogs, songs, laughs and claps. Yes, Indian audience can be made disciplined. 

Before we headed out, we stopped by the canteen to enjoy a crispy Akki Roti served with spicy tomato chutney. The Garden City is still cool and attracts young and smart minds from across the country, but the green cover is being replaced with concrete cover at a rapid pace. 

A city of attitude and arrogance

My next stop is New Delhi to witness the 68th Independence Day Parade and hear the address of our Prime Minister who was also born after Independence like me. Our PM may call himself Pradhan Sevak (first servant), but most of Delhiites behave like Pradhan Mantri (Prime Minister). 

The ugly side of Delhi is the attitude and arrogance of its people. I must confess that people wear their attitude and temper on their sleeves and as a result their arrogance blinds their brilliance. I have witnessed a few instances and also came across a few of those reported in newspapers during my three day stay. 

Music is a family tradition 

Despite these shortcomings, it was a joy to take my sister and family out for lunch, shop together and teach my nephew third grade English grammar. I even got an opportunity to take him to music class and I remembered the days when I had to accompany my sister to the music class. 35 years later, music still remains a family tradition. While speaking about tradition, I must share the coconut breaking tradition before and after every journey in my family. Not sure if it should be classified as pre-birthday bash, but my mother has a habit of breaking coconut (bribing Ganesha) whenever any of us in the house set out on a journey. And sometimes he gets a coconut whenever she gets anxious. With the 3 city trip, Ganesha had half-a dozen in a week :-)

Delhi Metro shines

It is convenient of getting around the city on the metro train despite overpowering smell of Navaratna hair oil emanating from fellow passengers. I must tell you that the metro stations in Delhi are much cleaner than the ones in Paris. There was no vandalism in the name of graffiti or street art and nobody excuses themselves in the metro station, something quite common in Paris. Another difference between Paris and Delhi metros, people in Delhi are attentive and are not found with ears plugs, deafening music and indifference.

Making memories

Another joyous moment for me was visiting my friends and their families.Though one of them lives outside of India, I managed to visit his parents, sister and niece and also enjoy the home cooked meal at their home and exchange about our changing lives. Within 3 hours I had 3 cups of tea and lots of snacks and fruits to eat. It has been 10 years since we first met, and we've kept in touch through emails, phones calls and periodic visits and today I was capturing the elusive moments together and sharing it with them over Whatsapp. Isn't vacation all about making memories with friends and family?

Home sweet home

And when I did my web check-in on the Delhi-Chennai bound flight, I realized that I had only 7 more days left with my mother who just turned 60 in a city that turned 375. That evening before I boarded the flight from Delhi to Chennai I received a text message from my mother giving me the lunch menu for the following morning. Mother, motherland and friends are always special and every time I take a flight out of Chennai I feel like a woman leaving for her husband's place after marriage. Home sweet home!

Chennai Chronicles Part 1

Like a photographer who turned his lens on another interesting subject, Chennai was out of my focus for the last 14 months though I had always kept an ear on the city. For a Carnatic music aficionado, traveling with violin duo, Ganesh & Kumaresh was perfect musical entry into Chennai. 

15 mins before touchdown, the captain announced weather: 31 deg C and strong westerlies was cooling down city, not a surprise for this time of the year. Both newspapers The Hindu and Times Of India had done a good job of keeping me abreast with Chennai musings and nothing was a surprise; even the on-schedule metro project and as a result one-ways and billboard announcing new health clinics and housing projects. And when I put my lens back in focus I did notice a few surprises. Come in let's discover together...

A dear friend of mine had come to the airport to receive me and he had rented an AC taxi to take me home since his car AC had problems. Not that i had to travel by an AC car, but I was deeply touched by the warmth of his friendship and something that is so special to only India and that I was waiting to experience. 

Hardly 8 hours after touching down, I was on "Uzhavan (Farmer's) Express" to see my grandparents at Mayavaram and also visiting my native village. Indian Railways and my grandparents (at 80 plus) were still active and hadn't aged much in the last 14 months. On the way home I noticed the river bed and fields appeared dry. The rice-bowl of South Infia tilled and ready for sowing paddy (rice) and the farmers hopefully looking up at the sky for some rain and tracking the inflow to Mettur Dam (a reservoir that waters the fields of Tamil Nadu) and water level in the dam (farmers' stock market).

On returning back to Chennai four days later, my experiences were different. I will begin with auto drivers, someone who I hate haggling with and often felt like beheading them when they loot customers. The last time I had seen a functioning meter in the auto was 30 years ago, when I was 8. Without me asking/demanding the auto guy turned on the meter and I paid 35 rs from Royapettah to Alwarpet. 

Should I assume all auto guys had mended their ways and the TOI campaign "Bring back meters" was a big success? No way! A few days later an auto guy demanded 40rs to travel from Luz corner to Royapettah despite me demanding him to turn on the meter. Unrelenting to my request, he turned his back on me and expressed his displeasure. 

I felt it was my duty to support the Government in change management and demand them to turn on the meters. Eventually, I convinced another auto, but he wanted to hold on to a few coins left behind from the three ten rupees notes I handed over. Though this is not right or agreed upon earlier, I still left that as a reward for turning on the meter.

One evening I made a trip to the nearby vegetable market with my mother. I was expecting to see a kilo of tomatoes and onions (Government altering veggies) selling at 100 rupees, but  I was shocked to see every other vegetable priced at above 40rs/kilo. When I moved on to the fruits section, I was in for another high voltage shock: Apple priced at rs 210/kilo made keep the Apple away, a 50% increase in the last year. With no opportunity for haggling in such shops, we returned home with a small bag of produce for 500rs. While at the store I noticed the building being expanded; the store owner was prosperous and the wrath of Mylapore Mamis' didn't seem to affect him. 

A few days later, when I came to the billing counter at the Dental Clinic, the clerk handed over the bill, explained the charges for various treatments and told me that they had charged me nominally for their services. I was never going to haggle over health care and doctor charges and her words made me ask, are clinics the new vegetable markets?

One ahead of my trip to Chennai, I had emailed my relationship manager at Vodafone to activate my SIM card in their safe custody. Though he had not confirmed the activation, despite several reminders, but the card was active and saved me a 30 mins wait time at the store. 375 years ago the name Madras was given by the East India Company and today I realized that the city was providing customer service digitally. To test if this was true in other areas, I decided to give a miss to Indian Railway food which is often berated in the press for passengers discovering dead insects in their food. Instead I ordered food on idlyvada.com, to service that delivers quality food to your seat at the specified station. I was reasonably surprised by the quality and promptness.

This morning (Aug 10) when I opened The Hindu I was shocked to find out that the Pilot Theatre and Landmark Book store will soon be shutting down their operations. Both places were landmarks for Royapettah and Nungambakkam. Movie halls and book stores are not like the Airlines, that can fold their wings overnight, but it wasn't clear why their owners decided that way. 

This is 8th day of my vacation and many more subjects to put focus on. Keep following me.

Was it just a lip service?

I went for my annual health check-up this morning in a private laboratory (it has been around for 75 years and accredited by The American Institute of Pathologists) in Royapettah. This was the same lab that diagnosed my congenital heart issue a few years ago. But today, I was 

appalled by 4 things:

- Sanitation: when I went to collect my urine sample and I had to ask myself if I had stepped in a private lab or in a Government hospital in India. It is a well know fact that Indians don't know how to use use toilets and how to leave them clean for others to use. The toilet wasn't cleaned from the day before and I was afraid that I might catch an infection from using the toilet. 

- Safety: those technicians collecting blood samples didn't wear gloves and X-ray technician didn't wear the radiation protection coat. How can I feel safe if employees don't observe safety norms?

- Unhealthy: breakfast before post prandial was rice cakes(idli) and vada (fried lentil ground). Think of 60+ with high lipid profile who come for blood sugar test. Pfff! When I raised this point with the management they told me that some patients ask for vada along with their breakfast. I told them that expections ought to be set with patients and they must be told it is a healthy breakfast and not a party meal.

- Chaotic: lack of staff to supervise, instruct and guide people made the ambience chaotic

95% of those who came to the lab this morning were retired senior citizens and some frowned at the process, but none of them went beyond complaining. During my wait time, I managed to put together a flow chart of how the stations must be arranged and wrote a one page letter to the management. Upon seeing my letter I was called inside for a conversation. They accepted all my points and promised to address them.  I asked them to join the queue in the morning to test the system and process, before and after they implemented any changes. 

What I saw at the lab that morning wasn't any different from what I see in Government buildings. This is a result of Lack of user feedback and people using the system not being involved in designing and testing the process.  

Will it be another #lipservice?