I was not at Staples center, I was not dressed in black, didn’t wear black sun glasses to hide the sorrow and tears in my eyes, I didn’t have to stand up every time they applauded and gave him an standing ovation, but nevertheless I felt all that they felt – an irreparable loss. Both my corneas were naked and inundated in brine, tremors and whimpers in my four chambers made it difficult to breathe, and finally an irreconcilable and irreplaceable loss and a feeling of hollow in my chest. It felt like a personal tragedy though I have never seen him face to face, not a fan of pop music, but there was something about him that strummed the note of melancholy in my heart.
I experience a sense of great loss when Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated, but not to this extent. I was just 15 years and I felt the hope of
I have seen none of them, just seen them on television, heard their albums and fell in love with them. You may call it infatuation, but I felt something that is missing in me in them and also felt something common in us. Was it the search of love and happiness?
Of the 4 deaths that moved me to tears, it was Diana and MJ demise that took me beyond boundaries of consolation. It made me question our brittle life, social set up, unsatisfying relationship. Both of them tried to find their happiness in their relationships, in their families, and fell in love, I mean literally fell (fall) in love. Fans placed flowers, held a candle vigil, wrote eulogies and songs, but they couldn’t pull him out of the jaws of death.
He sang for the world “We are the world”, he sang to forget his sorrows and transported fans to another world through his music. But the disloyal world judged him for his color when he was black, judged him for his color when he turned white, and then pushed pedophilia charges on him and never let him live in peace. May be that is why both MJ and Diana didn’t want the world to show their face to the world after their death. Hopefully MJ will now rest in peace.
Today we are all searching for the same happiness and love that MJ and Diana were looking for. He was lying in a gold casket surrounded by handful of family, bunch of friends and millions of fans, but not even one could help MJ find his love and happiness. A bad childhood, an unsupportive family, a miserable marriage, and finally an untimely death – that is their storyline. They could never pull the trigger and open their parachutes. May be God wanted to hear his music and give his son eternal love and happiness?
Friends and family came to the podium and shared their grief and closeness with MJ, but did they ever reach out to him, did they ever help him out get out of his debt trap? Now no one will know the truth.
The Queen of song, MS Subbalakshmi was both beauty and talent, she too faced financial crises, and health set backs, but her relationship with Sadasivam helped her to stay focused and calm in the journey of life. May be I am just assuming that she lived a full life, a life of happiness and content.
Many of us are journeying in the same boat of insecurity. We are looking for the islands of happiness and love in people with a hope they would make our incomplete selves complete in many ways. But sadly to most this is a never ending journey and a journey to “Never Never land” and a quagmire. Hopefully these deaths will teach us how to live and how not to judge people.
you are so right. we lose so many good ones. And the world seems to realize them only when they have passed on. guess they have found peace now
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