Sunday, June 15, 2014

Failing safety knots and nets

Last weekend my 8 year old nephew over Skype explained the 3 families types he studied in school. I was surprised that the single parent family is now a part of our society and textbooks, others being nuclear family and joint family (rare earth). A lot of things have changed in the last 30 years, but I'm not sure if this change is for better. Watch this latest episode of Neeya Naana - http://youtu.be/XN67tdbHejI

Sometimes going back to the basics helps us understand what we lack and what we believe  functional in reality is dysfunctional. The Zee Tamil channel through the show Solvathellam Unami has been bringing to light the dark elements in society, how marriage as an institution doesn't work in lower and lower middle class income group (other income groups don't come forward to share their stories in public), how relationships that are meant to protect and love (husbands, brothers, sisters and in-laws) often turn into predators. 

With this preamble, I delve deeper into each of these points. 

Safety knots: Was the institution of marriage created to protect and churn out responsible citizens or was it created to fail and ruins lives of people and create a society of criminals? PS: If you have not been watching Solvathellam Unmai on Zee Tamil, please go on YouTube and help yourself with a few episodes to understand my words and have your interpretation. 

Many of the women and families that appear on the show highlight the situation among lower and lower middle income groups. Husbands in illicit relationships with other women, husbands forcing wives to curt sexual favors, men becoming salves of alcohol and substance turning a home and a marriage into hell, needless to say about physical abuse and verbal abuse. All this incidents question the fundamentals of the institution of marriage? 

Don't think these evils are absent in the upper income group. Preity Zinta filing a molestation case against Ness Wadia, a business tycoon is now hot in press. Hrithick Roshan and Suzzanna Roshan's marriage is a testimony to my argument that the institution marriage is crumbling across income groups. For a women or a man to stay single and raise a child may be a redemption than to stay in a miserable marriage, but doesn't that question the very fundamentals of marriage?

Historically and mythologically the institution of marriage hasn't done much good to women and children. Haven't you read the story of Dhruva? You know what happened to Kannagi, Draupadi and Sita? I'm not supporting the feminist, but I'm asking the men folk and the society to introspect and mend their ways before it becomes too late.

Not all marriages fail, but many aren't successful enough to argue that the institution is doing its job and serving its purpose. Those who continue to stay in it do so because the world outside is scarier and worse. Yes, it is the game of survival for both inside and outside. 

Safety nets: The great epics: Ramayana and Mahabaratha depicts the ills of greed, lust and how kith and kin can turn into predators and slay relatives to take the throne of power and position. Sita raised her children as a single mother in forest, Kauravas humiliated Draupadi in the court and sent Pandavas to forest Ina bid to take over their kingdom. Should we include Azhagiri and Stalin under this category? People like Dronacharya and Bheeshma failed to question Kauravas and protect Draupadi. I wish to highlight a few in my family, but again don't want to wash dirty linen in public. 

When the safety knot and safety net fails, women and children suffer the most. The dirty elements like hyenas, jackal and vulture use their vulnerability and exploit. You know the fate of women actress who are not protected by their husbands and uncared by members in their family (Silk Smitha, Sri Vidya, etc.). You heard of sexual exploits - here is an episode of a 11year old girl molested by adults in her neighborhood - http://youtu.be/EStvT0r0pks 

How can such violated children make a strong and beautiful world tomorrow? 

When Draupadi was pawned in the game by her husband (Yudhistra) and disrobed in the court (Dusshasana) on the instructions of Shakuni and Duryodhana in the presence of the righteous Bheeshma and Dronacharya, Krishna came to her rescue. Krishna shed tear on seeing the plight of Draupadi and asks for her conviction to wipe the tears of other women across the world. He describes 5 unforgivable sins that needs severe punishment before he blows the conch to signify the beginning of the war. 

What is the use of epics and mythologies in religion if we haven't learnt anything from them? Who is responsible for this situation? Is it irresponsible adults who make dysfunctional families and children? Or is it the responsible society that fails in its duty to question and punish the immoral. You solve the oldest riddle: chicken or egg? 

Today Zee Tamil is playing the role of a conch trying to amplify the muffled voices and create awareness in the society. If we don't wake up to the noise of the conch now, it will be late and we will all be responsible for the degradation of the society irrespective of wether you watch or participate.
Let's make the safety knots and the nets work. Thirty years down the line I don't want to hear my great nephew or niece tell me that the institution of family and marriage cease to exist even in text books.  


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