Incredibly Indian

From giving missed calls, throwing a hanky to secure a seat in a bus, to paying for coffee or bus ride, Indian’s have a unique way to bond and display their friendship. I always felt difficult to verbalize Indian friendships to westerners and this is probably the reason why I find it difficult to replicate Indian friendships in other countries and with other nationalities.

 

When one of my colleagues knew that I was soon going to be back in Chennai, he reserved a seat beside him. He became so protective that he never let anyone sit in that seat even for a day. He even informed other colleagues, who I hadn’t met before, about my arrival. Only in India, friendships arrive ahead of friends!

 

While the West finds gate crashing intrusive and shocking, it is a unique identity of Indian culture. Being warm and spontaneous walking into homes without prior notice or preparation is the foundation of Indian friendships. The same colleague who reserved a seat next to him took me to his home without giving prior notice to his family. His wife and mother were welcoming and plied me with coffee and snacks.

 

Bonding over food is the grammar of our friendship. One afternoon in the cafeteria two of my colleagues ordered food, while the rest of us jumped into each other’s plates without feeling awkward or using the word let’s go Dutch when the bill arrived. Though I’ve lived in the West for a long time, I understand letting them pay for a coffee or a meal is a way to let them express our friendship.

 

This is the season for submitting income tax proofs at work and the other day I found my colleagues sharing Revenue Stamps and signing indiscriminately on each other’s Rent Receipt. Though this is punishable by law, Indians consider denying help to friends more sinful - indelibly Indian!

 

Finally, when I had to leave work, a colleague offered to drop me at the nearest train station. Though I tried to convince him that the station was out of his way, he didn’t mind making a small detour to build a conversation and strengethen our friendship without any ulterior motives. 

 

Every Indian who is living outside of India will confess their longing for this kind of friendship that breaks many of the western rules and etiquettes. It is true that you can take an Indian out of India, but never Indianness out of an Indian. At the end of the first week at work, I found my Indianness still alive. If you are a westerner reading this, give yourself an opportunity to experience an Indian friendship. It may sound crazy, but it won’t hurt you. Break the rules!