Monday, June 29, 2020

Mourning a Big Loss!

On June 29, 2020, one generation lost their youngest sibling and another generation lost their eldest sibling. Though she was my dad’s youngest sibling and we addressed her aunt, she was hardly 8-10 years older than the next generation which made her dear to us.

I remember her almost in every scene of my growing up years. As a child, I crawled into her music class and listened to her sing. When I started kindergarten, she dropped me and my brother at school on her way to college and picked us up on the way back. And one time, when she had to undergo an eye surgery for squint correction, we threatened to jump off the car and made the driver take us to the hospital on the way to our school. Then every night after dinner, she told us stories from Bhagavadam and instilled faith and values in us and this went on till she got married in 1983.

Me standing in front of her

The house wasn’t the same after she got married and left. Those were days when phones were used only for emergency purposes and we would crowd around the phone every time she called and longed to hear her voice. Rather than elbow each other for a chance to speak, I found another way to keep in touch with her, through letters. I was 8 years and I started writing to her and she would promptly respond and I remember this ritual went on till I finished college and moved overseas.

We kids would impatiently wait for the summer holidays and I remember going to the train station to receive her each year. That’s the excitement she brought into our lives. She visited almost every year without fail and spent two months with us. When she left to her home at the end of summer we all cried and felt sad. And couple of years when she couldn’t come down for a visit, I visited and spent my summer with her. What fond memories growing up with her!

Many years ago we visited her place to participate in function; she gave us a grand welcome. And when we had to depart she broke down and we decided to stay for an extra day to make her happy. That’s kind of bond and affection we shared with my dad’s youngest sister.

Whenever someone in the family was unwell or sick, she performed special prayers for their recovery. When she fell sick a few years ago, I prayed to the same gods in the stories she told us as kids, but none of them helped her recover completely. When she had to stay back in the hospital for the day, I remember leaving my lunch for her. There was so much care and reciprocity in our relationship.

And today, a week ahead of her 37th wedding anniversary, she breathed her last. How could she leave without saying us good bye? Sadly, none of us could threaten anyone to get there and pay our respects and tell her the never ending love and joy she gave us. Though we may be 15 years apart, she was my elder sibling. No one can take her place in our hearts and she will continue to live in ourmemories. 

Hope her 2.5 year old grandson will one day read this blog and understand how special her grandmother was to us. 

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