Vacation at the Acadia National Park, Maine (Part 1)

From going away to a new location and exploring the unexplored, throwing away daily timetables and waking up to none, experimenting new cuisines, engaging in retail therapy, to partying with friends and newly found friends till 4 am in the morning, we all have our interpretations/definitions/ versions of a “Vacation”. And there is nothing wrong with any of these definitions/interpretations/versions as long its rejenuvates our mind and body. 

I have done vacations by the sea in Asia and South East Asia enjoying saltiness in the breeze and abundant sunshine, ascending the mountains of Himalayas and spending time at Buddhist monasteries in peace, solitude and contemplation, wandering through the wonders of Cambodia trying understanding their culture, appreciating their think-big attitude and expanding my horizons of knowledge and understanding of the world that was. But this trip has redefined my idea of a vacation.

Vacation redefined!

My friends Paul and Stephanie came up with something that none of us have ever tried before, a cycling vacation along the coastline of Maine at the Acadia National Park.  The idea sounded interesting, but my mind back tracked pondering over our physical fitness and endurance required to complete 75+ miles of cycling, kayaking in the ocean and hike up the Concorde Mountain all in 5 days. But as soon as we signed up for our vacation, the three of us got on a fitness regimen that will help us complete the challenge.  But seldom did we realize that the actual terrain can never be simulated in an air-conditioned gym atmosphere and weather, people and our own body can throw last minute surprises.

Finally “Team India” arrives….

Paul, Stephanie and I were the last to arrive at the vacation venue (Mira Monte Inn, Bar Harbor Maine), we arrived at quarter to five in the evening (45mins late) and we were aptly given the name “Team India” (I am sure they knew our India Standard Time secret). After the traditional “Wine and Cheese” welcome (similar to our garland and tikka welcome) that evening we went over to Gaylyn Restaurant by the Ocean front. Since we had not met our fellow cyclist before, we didn’t think twice about choosing who to sit with.  Did I say I was missing the mamis of Mylapore? No!

The NY Jewish couple trait…

Since Maine Lobsters were a delicacy, almost everyone on the table that night ordered went on a Lobster diet and wrestled with the dead crustacean. The Jewish couple from New York on the table was wrestling with something more than just the lobster. They first wanted to know how Paul, Stephanie and I knew each other and then the conversation

quickly headed towards marital status and their marriageable daughter. I was appalled such personal questions being thrown at a stranger they met an hour ago, but then Paul and Stephanie comforted me that it was the typical “NY Jewish Couple trait” and I must back home with such personal questions on the dinner table.

I almost got out of a date

The Jewish couple was impressed with my multiple masters degree from the US and were all the more excited when they found out I was single, but soon their face was dripping with disappointment when they learnt that I was a traveler in the US and not living there. If I had lied that I was settled in the US, the couple would have set me up on a date with their 31 year old daughter. Doesn’t matter where I live, travel, and who I sit with for dinner, once a vegetarian, always a vegetarian!

The morning after

Looking at age group of the fellow cyclist, and the three course meal they had the night before, I offered them a free 30 minute stretching class by the lawn at Mira Monte Inn in the morning. One of them in the group asked me if I could do a short meditation session at the end of the stretching class. I didn’t want to play the Indian yoga master cliché here, but then I didn’t want to douse her enthusiasm to learn meditation. I tried persuading her to understand that meditation can never be taught, but then “meditation was a part of her learning menu” that I could never erase.

The journey with “Hill Billy” begins…

We packed our backpacks with fruits, sunscreen and filled our sipper bottles with water and endurance for the trip. Except for Paul, the rest of us wore our gel cycling shorts so that we don’t feel like a “sore whore” at the end of the day. May be Paul had something biologically inbuilt? He would never share that information!

Billy, the guide who came with us on the trip, briefed us about the terrain and handed over a printed sheet that gave us the directions for the day. Finally our geared bicycles arrived we all shoved our belongings in the zipped basked behind, put on our helmets, adjusted the seats and were ready to coast along Acadia.

Come back next week to find out about our “Hill Billy”, “Florida Girls”, “The Sisters” and more interestingly what the group thought of “Team India”. I will also show some fresh popovers with just a 7 minute shelf-life and delicious blueberries trails at Acadia. Also come back for more pictures from the trip.  

2012 Aranmula Snake Boat Race

Kerala is blessed with everything to captivate, beguile and ensnare strangers, tourists, traders, missionaries, etc. Fertile soil, beauty and tranquility of the backwaters, colorful and aromatic spices (black pepper, nutmeg, cardamom, etc.), rustling noise from the fronds of omnipresent coconut trees, nasal sound, melodic meter, and sweetness from the language (Malayalam), oil massages, and finally, cleanliness and personal hygiene of Malayalis, there is a lot to adore, appreciate and celebrate about “God’s Own Country”! And on this trip I found one more to add to the list, the testosterone powered boat race at Aranmula.

The tradition of Snake Boat Races:

Snake boat (aka Palliyodam) races are the highlight of the monsoon and festival season in Kerala. During the monsoon when the rivers and back waters are filled with clear and fresh rain water, Kerala gets ready to host boat races and the Aranmula is the oldest, others are Alleppey’s Punnamda Lake (Nehru Trophy), Changanassery’s Champakkulam Moolam (the most popular), and Payippad Jalotsavam held on Payippad Lake. 

A Chundam Vallam aka a snake boat is 100-120 feet long and holds about 50 rowers. There are helmsmen, singers and rowers on every boat and everyone on the boat has a role to play. A colorful umbrella at the center of the boat rotates to the beat, energy and vanchipaatu (tunes sung during the race to motivate the rowers and engage the spectators) add to the glitterati. Each village has its own snake boat and their names are etched on tail of the boat and villagers on the banks of the river cheer as their boats race. It is a visual and aural treat to watch testosterone powered boats tearing through the fresh river waters. The Snake boat race highlights many of the characteristics (team spirit, cohesion, energy, enthusiasm, etc.) one needs to be successful in all walks of life.

Read Wikipedia for more information- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_boat

Aranmula Palliyodam:

The Aranmula boat race is the oldest and is held during the week of Onam (falls on Uttratadhi star, usually fourth day after Onam). Carpenters do their annual maintenance during the summer by polishing the boats with mixture of fish oil, carbon mixed with eggs to keep the boat strong and reduce the friction during motion. One can see many Palliyodams parked on the banks of river Pampa at Aranmula even weeks before the event. Each of these boats represents a village and is considered sacred. Only the village men are allowed to row the boats and usually dress in white dhotis and wear a cloth around their waist with no foot wear or sunscreen. 

A day before the race, you can catch many of these boats making trips, up and down  river Pampa and preparing for the race. There is ceremonial prayer before the boat is lowered in the water and the head of the village usually is the Captain of the boat. He gives orders to lower, steer, race and cheer them to the finish line.

Here is a video of lowering the boat:

Here is a video from the heats, the previous day:

On the day the race, at around 9 am, the elephant from Parthasarathy temple carries the flame to the beats of chenda melam and leads the parade to the start point behind the PWD Guesthouse at Aranmula. The boat race begins with a small entertainment from the parade of boats from all villages going up and down the river. Teams being to display their power and might at the parade. At around 3 pm the actual race began and this year there was 48 boats.

Here is a video from the race:

For more information on Aranmula boat race - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aranmula_Boat_Race

Where to stay?

Malakkarethu House - http://malakkarethuhouse.com/

Beware: You are entering a zone of fruit bearing trees on the banks of river Pampa, and the density of the trees can give you a feel of a tree house. The choice of trees – coconut, papaya, nutmeg, jackfruit, plantain, mango, amla etc. with resplendent flower is sure to assault your sensory nerves.

A flight of stairs in the backyard takes you to River Pampa, which is revered by puranas and mythology. Watching the river flow and life that comes around it at the crack of dawn, during the day and sunset is purely meditative.

The house is aesthetically laid out incorporating the elements of “Vaastu”. The Kerala style ventilation on the first floor bring precious oxygen from the trees, the mutram at the center of the house brings ample light and sunshine. From the hostess’s heart to the size of the rooms and bathrooms, and the friendly and pleasant staffs, this homestay is a heaven on earth!

Dr. Sujatha who owns this ancestral house, makes the homestay a superior experience with all her care, kindness and affection. She runs this place true to the mantra “Athithi devo bhava”. Every meal she puts on the table is cooked with love and care and served with delicious hospitality. One doesn’t need to worry about quality, quantity and or a plastic smile that accompanies staff and service of a commercial hotel or tourist resort. Dr. Sujatha is a mother, teacher, travel agent, friend, trusted advisor and nature lover all rolled into one. You can be assured of a superior stay experience if you made it your choice to stay here.

When does the Aranmula boat race fall?

The Aranmula boat race is the oldest and is held during the week of Onam (falls on Uttratadhi star, four day after Onam).

Here is the calendar to all boat races and other events in Kerala - http://www.keralatourism.org/festivalcalendar.php

Where to watch the race from?

1. Watch from water: Some people hire motor boats and watch the race unfold from the water.
2. Buy a seat: There is an option to buy a seat (Rs 1000, 500, 250, 100) in the pavilion on the banks of river Pampa to watch the race and tickets are sold at the counter at Sri Parthasarathy Temple.
3. Free spots: There are also ample vantage points on the river that are free and one must get there early to catch a spot.
4. If you are staying at Malakkarethu House, then it is free and you have a private pavilion set-up by the property owner. 

How to get to Aranmula from the train station?

Chengannur is the nearest railway head and there are private busses and autos that ply from right outside the station to Aranmula. The 10 km auto ride to Aranmula should cost around 100-150 rupees.

What else to see in Aranmula?

Sri Parthasarathy temple was built by Arjuna (one of the Pandava brothers) during their vanavaas. There is separate sanctum for Balabadhra one level below the ground.

On the road straight down from main entrance to Parthasarathy temple is Sri Mahaganapathy temple. The frescos on outer walls around the sanctum are riveting, and the notable one is the Sakthi Panchakshari, that has Siva, Parvathi, Ganesha and Karthik.  

What is Aranmula famous for?

Aranmula is the only place in the world that manufactures metal mirrors. These mirrors don’t contain glass or mercury and the metal surface is shined to reflect images as clear as a mirror.

On a flight of lies from Newark to Chennai

On the fateful day of August 25, when everything about my vacation was superlative, Jet Airways decided to play the Grinch. The airline cancelled the flight from JFK to Mumbai via Brussels and moved passengers from JFK to Newark Airport and put them on a flight to Mumbai. Subsequently the flight from Brussels to Chennai was cancelled and passengers were accomodated on the Mumbai flight and were promised the next flight to Chennai.

There were 20 of us on this flight traveling to Chennai, some were traveling with their children and many of them were senior citizens. Despite the cancellation of Brussels – Chennai flight we decided to go ahead with the journey since the staff in Newark promised us of an accommodation in Mumbai and the first flight to Chennai next morning.

The flight from Newark departed after a delay of 90 mins. There was another 60 min delay on the Brussels – Mumbai flight since passengers arriving from connecting flights had not arrived. And we landed in Mumbai at 11.30 pm on August 26. Customs and Immigration was cleared in 15 mins and we got the baggage at the conveyor belt in 15 mins.

We re-checked our bags at the counter, with a hope that we would be given accommodation. And we were just given our boarding passes on the 8.45 am Chennai flight on August 27, but no news about accommodation. The personnel at the check-in kiosk asked us to get on the inter-terminal shuttle to proceed towards the domestic terminal. When asked about the accomodation, the Jet Airways staff and duty manager, conveniently washed her hands-off. When we asked if they received any email from the desk in Newark, they denied receiving any email for accommodation, and said it has never been their policy to put up people in hotels or Jet lounges due to flight delays and cancellations. Some amongst us moved away after hearing their reply, while a few of us decided to stick around and fight it out.

I heard the Supervisor talk to a foreign national, a business class passenger and a Platinum Card member on the same flight. She asked him to report to gate 1 at the domestic airport, but said the Jet Lounge could accommodate only 20 and she wouldn’t promise a place for him. She also said and the airport security may let him into the gate two hours prior to the flight departure and he must be prepared spend the night (8 hours) sitting in those chairs near the check-in counter. On hearing this I turned irate and had no choice but to gather my co-passengers me for a confrontation and if possible a showdown.

I asked the Chennai bound passengers to join hands with me and we confronted the supervisor and recorded her boorish, rude, brash answers. We asked her to call the General Manager, and she said she did, but it was never their policy to provide any accommodation for delays or cancellations. It was sad to know that the Jet Airways ground staff and supervisor are not empowered to make any decisions to save the image of the airline.

Many of us had to report to work the next morning and Jet Airways didn’t care whether we slept that night or stayed awake. Amongst us there was an international passenger who is travelling to the country for the first time to add to his woes Jet Airways managed to lose his luggage and he had a 10 am business meeting the next morning.

When we raised our voices, she had no option but to extinguish our tempers and quickly get us out of the international terminal. She took down our seat numbers and promised an accommodation at the lounge, but when we reached there, the security guards would not let us enter the gate 8 hours prior to the flight and the ground staff at the domestic airport didn’t want to help and washed off their hands.

The Captain on the Brussels bound flight attributed the reason for cancellation as commercial, while the Captain on the Bruessels Mumbai flight said it was due to technical reason. That day we were flying on lies from Newark to Mumbai.

Would you want to experience such a service with no humaneness and professionalism? Imagine your aged parents, wife with kids stuck in Mumbai with no food and accommodation for 8 hours. When it is time to make a wise choice and don’t be afraid to drop Jet Airways from your list, even if you get a free ticket.

Check out this video I shot that night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDEtK0XFmn8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Service “Up in the air”

Five months ago when I decided on a trip to the USA, I choose you guys over the rest of your competitors. Price was never a matter, and especially on this trip to see my near and dear ones in a far away land. And the decision to fly with you was a culmination of service I have experienced in the last ten years as loyal customer. So how does one react when loyalty is unrequited and privilege is unappreciated? Should one feel cheated and violated?

Trouble started just 24 hours before….

24 hours before the journey I go online to do a check-in and the airline website throws an error. I tried multiple times, and then I finally decided to call the customer service. And the response that I got only surprised me further.

The gentleman at the other end says “Some customers are experiencing issues with our online check-in, and I would request you to get to the airport early to get the seats of your choice.” Before he could close with the customary statement, “is there anything else that I could assist you with today”, I politely hung up.

7 hours before the journey….

I got a text message from the airline “9W 0226 flight from Chennai to Brussels is delayed and will leave at 2.15 am”. Since I had a connecting flight to Newark and then a flight to West Coast, I was a little anxious. I would have managed to squeeze in a few extra hours of sleep if the flight had left on time at 1 am. We all understand that no one has control over what happens in air!

3 hours before the journey….

The airline staff at the opening of the queue requested my ticket print out and passport. On seeing the short queue at the airport, I was excited, but the excitement didn’t last long. His eyes peered through the names of passengers on the list, but never caught mine. I pulled out my mobile and matched the date on the mobile with that on the ticket and I also looked around to see if I was in the right airline queue. I felt anxious and helpless, and volunteered to find my name on the list. Even without the help of my eye glass, I managed to find myself on the printed sheet of paper within seconds.

While I thought the delay at the mouth of the queue was made up for at the check-in counter, I was made to feel more anxious. The staff invited another colleague over and asked him to note down my name, while my boarding card had 4 S printed on it. Having never experienced such a privileged profiling, I asked the staff what it means. She started to say security, but she quickly cut it short and handed over my boarding card to her colleague. I asked another airline college next to her, while he didn’t budge either. He replied nothing and handed me my boarding card.

While boarding…

At the gate there were boards that clearly segregated the crowd by class and seat numbers for economy. But the half a dozen airline staff waiting to scrutinize boarding cards, passed on no instructions or made no announcements on who gets to board first. The queue phobic, indisciplined Indian population elbowed each other to take their pre-assigned seats on the aircraft.

With slow moving line, I realized there were 2 more rounds of passport and boarding card matched made before we boarded. When I handed over my boarding card I was pulled up by the staff for special frisking and screening of my baggage. Aha moment! I knew what the “SSSS” in my card meant and why the airline staff never disclosed to me what it meant.

While I was still in Chennai, I got the message, “Weclome to the new America”. I was extra cautious while packing my carry-on not to have liquids, sharp objects or other prohibited material with me. I even decided not to wear my belt so that I walk through the security without setting on any alarms. And a prepared and cautious passenger like me gets a privilege treatment in the name of security.

20 mins after boarding….the wings got clipped…

Over head bins were already full and the crew was busy running around to find place for luggage that passengers were never willing to part. A passenger complained that her seat automatically reclined and the crew summoned the mechanic on-board to fix the issue.

Though kids and elderly get the right to board first, kids can get a little restless. An 18 month old boy next to me was super excited and was running around the aircraft, while his parents were busy getting his feeds ready. The airline staff soon reached out to the parents and very rudely asked them to keep their child from moving around. Not happy with his wings being clipped and with his mother arms firmly wrapped around him, the toddler hated the red card and started to cry. Passengers were surprised what happened to the child who was happy a few minutes ago. His unrelenting cries soon invited the airline crew and this time around they asked the parents if they knew how to distract the kid. Rudeness!

 An hour into the journey….

At 3.30 in the morning I was posed with the question, “Vegetarian or non-vegetarian” and very soon a veg hot pocket was handed over to me. Rubbery and hard paneer pieces in the hot pocket gave me an idea what I should offer when I invite someone who I hate to my home. Even relief packets thrown by Red Cross in Kandahar would be better.

Four hours into the journey….terrible!

An elderly couple next me give me a nudge and ask if I can show them how to use the faucet in the toilet. By then the crew rolled out the terrible tasting food trolleys like they were feeding some prisoners and beggars. I avoided the trolleys and I took the elderly couple towards the front of the aircraft to show them how to use the faucet. The airline crew intervened and told me that one of the toilets had no water and the other one was reserved for business class and showed us they way back to the economy class. And finally when the food arrived, the variety, quality and quantity left us with a bad taste?

The bad food, bad attitude of employees, and singling me out for another frisk continued before I boarded the next flight from Brussels to Newark.

Where is compassion? Where is service? Where is loyalty? Where is respect for human life? Am I not adult enough to know what “SSSS” my boarding pass means? A women employee asking the mother and father if they knew how to engage and distract their child got me out of the chair. Arrogant responses and obnoxious response towards elderly clearly made this a “never travel” airline for me. Continuous display of arrogance and boorishness was good enough to convince me that I shouldn't need their “Privilege Card” any more. Who would want to hold a privilege card and feel humiliated on a vacation?

How can an airline fail continuously from the corrupt online check-in, to ticketing staff to cabin crew, to non-functioning toilets, to arrogant and disrespectful crew on a single day? Anyways, Jet Airways lost a 10 year loyal customer on one journey.

Being “up in the air” for too long can make one feel haughty, and it is time Jet Airways did some serious introspection and pull up their socks to upgrade the service, the fleet, and the cabin crew behavior. 

Not a Yakety Yak moment

We confront moral issues and ethical dilemmas, we run out of patience and confidence, and we also look for short-cuts for success and instant gratification in life. And often we find ourselves comparing our life and successes with others and do course correction and tamper with our value system to catch up with the rest. But does it pay-off in the end is a big question mark.

Here is a worthy experience - 108 Yaks: A Journey Of Love And Freedom narrated on film by Thubten Jinpa, a Buddhist monk. Thubten Jinpa was given a task by Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Spiritual Director of the Foundation for the preservation of the Mahayana Tradition (FPMT) of Buddhism.

The Context: The nomads in Nepal were selling the yaks because of the lack of manpower to look after them. The sold yaks were killed for meat and Mahayana tradition condemns killing of animals. Thubten Jinpa did some research and found out where they were sold. The act of freeing the animals falls under the category of animal liberation, a traditional practice in Tibetan Buddhism. But simply buying them was not enough, Thubten Jinpa had to find a safe place for them to be looked after.

The Task: To take 108 yaks through the mountains crossing over at around 18,000 feet, to reach their destination, the Rolwaling valley, where the animals were safely deposited with villagers.

The Journey: “Taking such a large group of yaks across the treacherous, uninhabited lands at such high altitudes is something a few would venture to do. And what gave me faith to put me life and so many lives at risk was the courage that came from years of study,” says Thubten Jinpa .

Pearls of Wisdom from the Journey:

1. “The more I learn, the more I connect to the teachings. Now I am able to understand the principles and put them into practice. So whenever a conflict arises, I am able to discern the methods that I can apply to deal with it. I have grown deeper in my faith, my connection and my commitment to continue the practices,” says Thubten Jinpa.

2.“All negativity arises from the mind, from having a wrong perspective about life. Suffering is in the mind. One becomes free when one understands this.”

3. Death is a certainty for every living being, so what matters is to ensure that life itself is wholesome not just physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well.

4. One has to find a way to treat the life state that caused the being to be born as an animal. It is not possible to save all the animals, but benefiting one animal is better than doing nothing.

5. The group faced its share of obstacles along the way with changing mountain paths, and rough trails. At one point they find their only train washed away by the rain. Taking the viewer across pristine mountain vistas, 108 Yaks… is a demonstration of the profound commitment that comes from a space of innocence and love.

6.The journey is as important as the destination, so choose the right destination and embark on the right journey to self- liberation. Practice generosity, one of the six perfections of the Mahayana tradition which includes morality, patience, perseverance, concentration and wisdom.

As we go through our individual journeys of life, we will be entrusted with purposeful yaks by our elders at home, superiors at work, or spiritual leaders in our faith. And on the journey you will come across changing mountain paths, high altitudes, treacherous trails, trials and tribulations, and when you do, remember this story on 108 Yaks: A Journey Of Love And Freedom.

Here is the detailed coverage about this journey on The Hindu: http://www.thehindu.com/arts/cinema/article3620678.ece

Here is where you can get the DVD - http://shop.fpmt.org/108-Yaks--A-Journey-of-Love-Freedom-DVD_p_1674.html

Just an afternoon ramble

A colleague of mine stopped by my desk to confirm if I was single. And when I confirmed what he had heard was correct, I could see a priceless smile laced with a tinge jealousy on his face. It was almost a neighbors’ envy owner’s pride moment! I stoked his smoldering jealousy by asking him about his marriage and family. At one point in the conversation, he opened up like the monsoon cloud and said, “I was in a dilemma if I should go for the second child, and I thought about time, quality and resources needed to bring up the second one, but it is too late and my second child is 6 months away from delivery.”

I didn’t know how to react or respond to him, but I reassured him that most children are bedroom accidents and every parent must be going through a similar quandary though society believes that every human ought to be a parent and by birth possess parental qualities and resources to rear children.

After he left my desk, I thought about child birth and responsibility from his perspective. Time, resource, patience, dedication all seem to be a scarcely available commodity in today’s world and why would I want to bring in another life and take additional responsibility of earning, providing, sacrificing, worrying and expecting - beyond my means and bounds?

While at my desk, the same colleague also shared his unfruitful ordeal searching for good schools for his son and the same week an ex-colleague called up to share her anxiety behind college admission for her son who recently passed 12th grade. Are these people really ready for such parental responsibilities or are they prepared pick-up required skill in the process of raising children or are they clueless in simple terms, is to be researched.

In the east, the moment the child is conceived parents decide the profession of the child, while in the west they think about providing an independent room for the child and giving it a space to play, think and be on its own. Irrespective of East or West, are parents playing their role and dispensing their responsibilities without expecting returns for their hard work, long nights, and innumerable sacrifices?

Religions may have sanctified the act of procreation to keep-up the numbers following their faith by portraying abortion and contraception as evil and sinful. Hinduism calls this stage of life as grihasthashrama and glories it as a requirement to cross the ocean of samsara to graduate to the next stage of life, Vaanaprastha. Looking around, I only see these religions has only increased the population and left married couple float and flounder in unending unhappiness and eternal worry in the name of samsara.

For no fault of theirs:

· Bright couples give birth to a kid with Down’s syndrome

· Poor couple have to send their bright kids to work than to school or college

· Orthodox couples have to deal with their child coming out gay

· Elders have to swallow their grandchildren marrying outside the caste or some have to come to terms with their grandchildren divorcing

· Rich parents need to swallow their kids’ addiction to alcohol, drugs and etc.

· And sometimes when everything about the kids is right, they prematurely die

· Righteous couples get taken for a ride by their daughters-in-law and some get thrown into old age homes

And every time when children fail to live up to expectations, people (relatives and friends) in the name of society cast aspersion on parenting and crucify them for every action of their children. And when things go out of control society blames parents for their bad karma from previous birth, making present life a living hell. Who is to blame for this -Is it society or children? The perfect chicken or egg question!

All this brings the joy and fruits of parenting to a big question mark. Is it worth the pain, sacrifice and risk? Does parenting come with fine and invisible print? Is parenting a gamble with no guarantees, promises and happiness? I have no answers, but just this one liner- It is important that you evaluate your life and the disappointments you brought to your parents before you turn out to be one and also ask if you have the necessary qualities to be a parent. The world may call me barren and selfish for being single and childless, but is lot easier than being a parent and saddled with blames and disappointments. Watching a priceless smile laced with jealousy on a colleagues face is better than bearing the brunt and blame from society.

A Rash “trap” athi or Rash “trash” pathi?

When I tuned the Ham radio last weekend, I intercepted a weird but an honest conversation. Just like we earthizens worry about comets being spotted in the sky, meteors invading the earth, and Venus coming between Earth and Sun, the two voices, sounded like aliens, were discussing about the Presidential race in India.

Voice 1: Her term is coming to an end soon.

Voice 2: Whose pregnancy are you talking about? Ash delivered Beti B long back!

V1: Oh come on, I mean India’s first Women President. The lady drapes a cloth over head and looks older than Monalisa. But I must confess that both women have a mysterious smile on their face. BTW, her name is Pratibha Patil’s and her front teeth jut out like a squirrel.

V2: Does Presidential race mean anything in India and to Indians, given the history?

V1: Oh, don’t be so quick to decide the 60 year old presidential history in the country based on the outgoing president, but look at the precedents. Remember, the President of India enjoys executive power, judicial power, military power, diplomatic power, financial power, and pardoning power.

V2: Really? I thought the President post in India is ceremonial (spelt as seri - menial, seri in Tamil means ok!)

V1: Haven’t you seen how influential Dr. Abdul Kalam turned out to be? He used his executive powers diligently when Sonia wanted the Prime Minister throne and he connected so well with the masses that they want him back on that seat. He is always a People’s President.

V2: Well I have only seen Ms. Devi Singh tour countries, behave like a rubber stamp and now exercising her pardoning powers to convert death penalty to life term on her way out. Btw, she hasn’t extended her pardoning powers to the killers of Rajiv Gandhi.

V1: The Presidential race has created a calamity in the nation. It has brought out the devilish side in allies, created rifts with the party, brought together accomplices and exposed the old rift between allies. Chief Ministers have suddenly realized their power and started to throw their nominations at the ever hungry press that turns every sneeze, hiss and kiss into breaking news.

V2: Don’t get me started on the press, though we all know that Press is the first half of “Pres”ident!

V1: Jaya“Lolita” and Nitish Kumar (Bihari Babu) were the first ones to announce their candidate. And when Mamata and Mulayam Singh came forward with their list of candidates, it appeared the UPA was headed to a tumultuous collapse. M & M’s press meet dwarfed Jaya and Nitish and made them look stupid, but Mulayam’s sudden “U”ttar Pradesh turn smeared the misthi all over Mamata’s face. And on the day of UPA’s announcement of Presidential candidate, Sonia dressed in a green saree with pink border emerged like a lotus in a pool of marsh.

V2: Sonia, Pra“nabbed” to ensure Congress has some hold even if her party doesn’t form the next government at the Center. Despite he miserably failing as a Finance Minister,  she  elevated him to the post of President. Is that a promotion for performance or for non-performance? It is definitely a democrazy!

V1: News Channels turned the occasion into a reality show. They professed their own conspiracy theories, put up their scenarios and numbers and almost go ready to declare the result way before the election and bring in mid-term polls. They indecently hounded party spokesperson, leaders and candidates for sound and video bytes that turned into dynamites!

V2: BTW, I didn’t get to see Renuka Choudhary, the Silk Smitha of Congress on the dirty picture. BJP spokesperson Nirmala Seetharaman when hounded by Arnab Goswami on Times Now last week, kept herself cool and aloof like our neighbor Pluto. She is my choice for India’s President.

V1: The nation never knew PA Sangma came from a Tribal community and they were suddenly jinxed and jolted when he asserted his candidature on behalf of 100 million Adivasis in the country. Where was he when the tribals’ revolted against Posco? And when his own party, NCP didn’t support his candidature, he resigned from the party. BTW, Sangma on the interview made Kalam contesting the second term for President sound like Shobha De’s serial marriages (read as escapade)!

V2: All said and done, our friend who launches objects from earth into our space, the respectful Kalamji kept away from lights, camera and microphones, while ensuring he has enough propellant to get him on the orbit and on a victorious journey. But in the end it turned out to be a “Rash”trap”athi moment for him.

V1: Opposition leader and his NDA alliance are still deciding their nominee a week after UPA decided theirs. While CMs within their parties ignored the Presidential nomination are busy fighting and finding a secular candidate for the PM post. I thought it race was for the Presidential seat and there was still time for the PM seat.

V2: Sadly the presidential race turned the country into a mad house and brought out the ugly side in allies, regional parties, press, Chief Ministers, and candidates thereby humiliating the institution of democracy and people's faith in electing the first citizen of the nation.

V1: It is not our land, so who cares if it is Rashtrapathi Bhavan or “Rash trash pathi Bhavan”? Before Kapil Sibal intercepts our conversation, blocks the airwaves in the space and intrude our freedom of speech, let us sign-off! Rahul has been out of action and in hiding ever since UP poll disaster. Watch you if he is loitering somewhere in our part of the galaxy.