In 2009 December dad underwent a heart ablation procedure (to remove the scars in his heart from earlier heart attacks and reduce the recurrence of arrhythmia) and this was the last procedure to reduce the recurrence after having implanted a defibrillator. We were kind of satisfied after having done everything medically possible and there was nothing more from science. Having gone through 6 consecutive years of frequent hospitalizations, we were optimistic that the tough phase of life was over. But life always has surprises around the corner. After having mastered the heart, it was time for us to graduate to the next body part.
When I answered call on my mobile phone it was 11.30 am and it was mom on the other end. She said that dad had a fall in the toilet and he broke his hip and was in an ambulance on his way to the hospital. It took a minute to react to the news and I had a freeze in my throat. The next thing that came to my mind was medical insurance and savings in the bank to meet out the medical expenses. An old Tamil saying goes like this, “those who don’t have money have no place on the earth and those who don’t have grace have no place in heaven”.
While I was thinking about something different my mother was processing different set of emotions on the ground. Who gets to stay with dad in the hospital? Who gets to run the home and manage the 4 year old toddler? How long will he be in the hospital? Well we were experienced managing home and hospital after having gone through such harrowing summers year after year. We all waited for him to reach the hospital and have doctors examine him. In the meantime I called up my cousin to go to the hospital and another cousin to head home and stay with mom. Sometimes, staying away from the epicenter helps, it gives you time to think about the next steps – emotionally, physically, and financially without being affected by the incidents on the ground and make better decisions.
Ever since doctors discovered the anomaly in my heart and the need for surgery I decided to educate myself. I spent my evenings watching videos on You Tube and reading medical journals on the latest procedures, etc. And when I got to bed my head would replay the images and text from the journals will scroll at the bottom. After 7 weeks of running the same images and text, my head finally got a break and another set of images and text to process and beam. And this time it was the anatomy of pelvis , not Elvis! It was hip and not hip hop!
Next morning I was at the breakfast table fishing for blueberries in my cereal bowl. The berries had settled to the bottom and I was trying hard to finish the milk with a little spoon and I know I had berries to look forward to. At the moment, life seemed so full like the milk in the bowl but I was not sure if there were wild and sweet berries waiting at the bottom. For the first time it occurred to me that my father was competing with me to get operated.
Towards that evening my brother called and briefed me on the procedure dad had undergone. Doctor put a pin below his knees and connected that to a tuning fork kind of a set up. Weights were suspended from that assembly to gradually help the femur descend from the fractured acetabulam cup. The low ejection fraction in the electrically wired heart prevented the orthopedic from administering any aggressive treatment on my father. For next three weeks dad would in bed and any update on the next course of treatment would be announced based on the x-ray doctors had scheduled after three weeks.
The first storm arrived on April 5 and the next one on May 31 and washed away all my plans for a family vacation. It was almost 20 years since we had gone on a family vacation. My dad was doing okay health-wise and my sister and her son were also planning to come to Chennai for a vacation and I felt this was an opportune moment. But then life has its own priorities.
Fifteen days back, I was busy putting together a transition plan and organizing my hand over documents at work, while I was also making plans to make my surgical experience pleasurable and memorable, not just for me but also for people around me. I had an excel sheet with to-do list before and after the surgery. I had drawn a list of blood donors and I wanted to give them hand written thank-you notes and gift certificates. I wanted to fill the refrigerator with healthy stuff that my family can eat while I make them go through additional stress. I wanted to mark the right side of my chest with a big X mark and an arrow pointing to my left side, a small reminder to redirect them incase they were looking in the wrong side. I had also requested a doctor friend of mine to be in the theatre to ensure no surgical cutlery; gauze or cotton gets left behind in my chest. I had stacked lose fitting beach shirts to wear while I lie on the shore recovery intoxicated with pain-killers. I made a list of songs that I wanted to hear on my way to the operation theatre and again when I woke up and when tubes took over my body. Curious to know who all got on to my play list? Not now, but later.
I had planned the run-up to the surgery with lots of enthusiasm and I was afraid that everything was going to be postponed. Now suddenly I didn’t know if it was wise to go ahead with my surgery. With two people in the hospital and in two different cities, it would be a tough choice for my mother and family to pick who they would want to be with – my father or me. My leave plan was approved at work, my boss had broadcasted the plan far and wide, and I had finished the transition walk through and hand over. The surgeon’s calendar was blocked and the run-upto to the event was almost done. Life has its own choice.
When I arrived back in Chennai later that week dad was already home. My 4 year old nephew came running and explained in his little voice about what happened to grandfather. I left my luggage, picked up him and then walked towards my dad’s room. The double bed in the room was moved out and now there was a single bed in the center of the room and he was facing the door. He welcomed me and there was a male nurse seated at an arm’s length from him and his bedside table was filled with medicines and appeared like a mini pharmacy. Like a child he explained me what happened and my nephew butted in to give his version. The 6 feet tall man with broad shoulders was helplessly in bed and I was reminded of Shivaji Ganesan in the movie Karnan. Nothing else comes with you in the end, it is just your actions!
Ok I need to take a break. Here is some homework for you.
- Make sure elders at home have a decent medical insurance and coverage (5 Lakhs each). Here is a link that can help you do comparison and buy one soon.
- A simple two day hospitalization can run upto a lakh and if there is a surgery involved hospitals can dry up your insurance coverage in a few days. Ensure your insurance covers home hospitalizations expenses.
- There is also critical illness insurance that gives you a lump sum payment after the diagnosis of the illness. You can purchase that as add on to your existing policy.
- Make sure you have one year worth living expense available in your savings bank account and 5 Lakh cash towards emergency.
The race is on and I will see you next week with an answer to the question - who goes first?
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