A Rash “trap” athi or Rash “trash” pathi?

When I tuned the Ham radio last weekend, I intercepted a weird but an honest conversation. Just like we earthizens worry about comets being spotted in the sky, meteors invading the earth, and Venus coming between Earth and Sun, the two voices, sounded like aliens, were discussing about the Presidential race in India.

Voice 1: Her term is coming to an end soon.

Voice 2: Whose pregnancy are you talking about? Ash delivered Beti B long back!

V1: Oh come on, I mean India’s first Women President. The lady drapes a cloth over head and looks older than Monalisa. But I must confess that both women have a mysterious smile on their face. BTW, her name is Pratibha Patil’s and her front teeth jut out like a squirrel.

V2: Does Presidential race mean anything in India and to Indians, given the history?

V1: Oh, don’t be so quick to decide the 60 year old presidential history in the country based on the outgoing president, but look at the precedents. Remember, the President of India enjoys executive power, judicial power, military power, diplomatic power, financial power, and pardoning power.

V2: Really? I thought the President post in India is ceremonial (spelt as seri - menial, seri in Tamil means ok!)

V1: Haven’t you seen how influential Dr. Abdul Kalam turned out to be? He used his executive powers diligently when Sonia wanted the Prime Minister throne and he connected so well with the masses that they want him back on that seat. He is always a People’s President.

V2: Well I have only seen Ms. Devi Singh tour countries, behave like a rubber stamp and now exercising her pardoning powers to convert death penalty to life term on her way out. Btw, she hasn’t extended her pardoning powers to the killers of Rajiv Gandhi.

V1: The Presidential race has created a calamity in the nation. It has brought out the devilish side in allies, created rifts with the party, brought together accomplices and exposed the old rift between allies. Chief Ministers have suddenly realized their power and started to throw their nominations at the ever hungry press that turns every sneeze, hiss and kiss into breaking news.

V2: Don’t get me started on the press, though we all know that Press is the first half of “Pres”ident!

V1: Jaya“Lolita” and Nitish Kumar (Bihari Babu) were the first ones to announce their candidate. And when Mamata and Mulayam Singh came forward with their list of candidates, it appeared the UPA was headed to a tumultuous collapse. M & M’s press meet dwarfed Jaya and Nitish and made them look stupid, but Mulayam’s sudden “U”ttar Pradesh turn smeared the misthi all over Mamata’s face. And on the day of UPA’s announcement of Presidential candidate, Sonia dressed in a green saree with pink border emerged like a lotus in a pool of marsh.

V2: Sonia, Pra“nabbed” to ensure Congress has some hold even if her party doesn’t form the next government at the Center. Despite he miserably failing as a Finance Minister,  she  elevated him to the post of President. Is that a promotion for performance or for non-performance? It is definitely a democrazy!

V1: News Channels turned the occasion into a reality show. They professed their own conspiracy theories, put up their scenarios and numbers and almost go ready to declare the result way before the election and bring in mid-term polls. They indecently hounded party spokesperson, leaders and candidates for sound and video bytes that turned into dynamites!

V2: BTW, I didn’t get to see Renuka Choudhary, the Silk Smitha of Congress on the dirty picture. BJP spokesperson Nirmala Seetharaman when hounded by Arnab Goswami on Times Now last week, kept herself cool and aloof like our neighbor Pluto. She is my choice for India’s President.

V1: The nation never knew PA Sangma came from a Tribal community and they were suddenly jinxed and jolted when he asserted his candidature on behalf of 100 million Adivasis in the country. Where was he when the tribals’ revolted against Posco? And when his own party, NCP didn’t support his candidature, he resigned from the party. BTW, Sangma on the interview made Kalam contesting the second term for President sound like Shobha De’s serial marriages (read as escapade)!

V2: All said and done, our friend who launches objects from earth into our space, the respectful Kalamji kept away from lights, camera and microphones, while ensuring he has enough propellant to get him on the orbit and on a victorious journey. But in the end it turned out to be a “Rash”trap”athi moment for him.

V1: Opposition leader and his NDA alliance are still deciding their nominee a week after UPA decided theirs. While CMs within their parties ignored the Presidential nomination are busy fighting and finding a secular candidate for the PM post. I thought it race was for the Presidential seat and there was still time for the PM seat.

V2: Sadly the presidential race turned the country into a mad house and brought out the ugly side in allies, regional parties, press, Chief Ministers, and candidates thereby humiliating the institution of democracy and people's faith in electing the first citizen of the nation.

V1: It is not our land, so who cares if it is Rashtrapathi Bhavan or “Rash trash pathi Bhavan”? Before Kapil Sibal intercepts our conversation, blocks the airwaves in the space and intrude our freedom of speech, let us sign-off! Rahul has been out of action and in hiding ever since UP poll disaster. Watch you if he is loitering somewhere in our part of the galaxy. 

The Game of Mind Fu@K!

UPA recently completed 3 years in office (second term) at the Center and AIADMK completed one year in office at the State level. Looking at the full page advertisements that appeared in most newspapers flaunting the achievements I asked myself a simple question, how much has the Government at Center and State has impacted my life? Is it an audit/accounting exercise, like how Corporates publish their yearly Balance sheet or have they really delivered on their schemes and promises? What is there to celebrate 1 year and 3 year in office?

Only expenses but no ROI

I read Amma’s achievements and as I walked down the street and realized my life in Chennai has not changed a wee-bit with those grand schemes 500 Crores allotted towards Chennai Mega City Development Mission (sewage treatment, garbage disposal, drinking water, potholes free roads). Storm water drains are being constructed at their own pace and leisure, every newly laid road is dug up the next week by Telephone or Metro Water and finally there is garbage strewn over the streets and people still continue to defecate in public places and open air. TNEB is running in red for so many years and so is TN Transport Corporation, but the Government fails to understand there are other ways to turn around things by reduce pilfering and transmission loss than just raising bus fares and electricity tariff. Lot of investment and spending decisions made by the Government seems unreasonable, and goes unquestioned. Science and statistics don’t work for Government. Remember, spending is not an achievement.

There is nothing wrong in converting an Assembly building into a Hospital, but Government should ensure Chief Minister MLAs, Counselors, and Government Servants get their free medical facility only in those hospitals and would have to spend out of their pocket if they decided to go private. The reason why our hospital infrastructure is so bad is because people in power don’t go there and instead go outside the country for their treatment. For sure these politicians and are policy makers are far from ground and reality.

Amma’s release of Vision 2023 seems very futuristic, but is definite to fail if the fundamentals are not in place. Who are they trying to fool? Is it us or them?

The games we play….

Center blaming the Global economy for the state of affairs in the nation, UPA allies threatening to withdraw support and bullying policy makers and State Government blaming the Center has just become the only games these people can adeptly play. When our Finance Minister blamed Greece crisis for rupee depreciation, I felt it was heights of ignorance or may be public is numb to this kind of mind fuck, that needs no protection and needs only ignorance to take it with stride. Mamata Bannerjee ousting the Railway Minister and making the Government do a partial roll-back has become a modus operandi for allies. 3 years in power and the UPA Government is still trying to bring the scamsters from Common Wealth Games, 2G, ISRO Devas deal, Coal gate are far from being brought to justice, while ministers are busy watching pornography in assemblies and people in position of power are found in compromising positions in Court chambers. Where is law and order in this country? The educated stopped questioning the government department and rather than fixing broken links and processes in Government offices have learnt to pay bribes and find a way around.

When Rome was burning…..

One year maybe too short to expect quick turnarounds, but definitely those advertisements only show expenses incurred, but never measures the true outcome. Food grains continue to rot in heat and rain, crumbling infrastructure, and a black hole in supply chain is killing common man with overheads leaving India starved to meet basics need and devoid of values. Yet we will want to run our loss making Indian Airlines and modernize with new fleet. The Government looks through the microscope and PM lauds microscopic achievements during the 3rd anniversary celebration.

So many bills are stagnant in front of the Parliament for discussion and decision making and in the last three years, what achievement is the UPA government bragging about? Is it the achievement of staying in power despite scam after scam, bargaining with allies, and obstruction of justice in many cases?

When country is in fiscal deficit, rupee buried in the valley, inflation on the peak, and reputation of Indian Government at stake, who are these advertisements trying to fool? It is estimated that TN Government spent in excess of 25 crore on a single day and it supposed to be a record. If you look at the content (almost resembles what I shared via power points in IT board rooms during client meetings).

Our Law Minister Kurshid, while speaking to Barkha Dutt on NDTV and says “People world all over are unhappy”, is he eluding that we Indians must also feel unhappy and it is his Governments duty to ensure uniformity and we resonate the feelings of the world around us?

Mountain out of molehill.....

These advertisements by both Central and State governments are making a mountain out of a molehill and it is print media who benefits from my tax money.

1. Announcing grand schemes, trouncing schemes announced by the earlier Government, and slapping cases against former ministers seems like a favorite 5 year activity while in power. There is no benefit any policy brought us, because we killed it before it started to bear fruits.

2. Giving away free milch cows and goats in rural, free power and seeds to farmers, guaranteed rural employment scheme, RTE, etc. the Ministers and cabinet of advisors have no clue if any these schemes would benefit the needy and poor. There is no study or research done, and most of it just targeted at possible vote bank.

3. No officials are on the ground and perform checks to ensure if the schemes reach the intended and they benefit from it.

4. And we still let our PM read the report on Malnutrition report and let him go unanswerable and unaccountable.

60+ years have gone by since we turned independent and though we would like to brag that we are the largest democracy in the world, but in reality we are far from being developed and we, the citizens settled for less than mediocrity. Government after Government has come in and has miserably failed to provide the basics, yet we cast our votes every five years to bring the next set of criminals to power. 

The choices we make….

I have already stopped watching news channels, maybe it is time that I give up reading newspapers which is mostly negative and filled with scams and scheming plots and live in a delusion of being in Paradise. Sadly in a Democracy there is no way to question a Government for 5 years and even if people questioned, you know the fate of people  like Anna Hazare, RTI activist and whistle blowers (many have been killed - For ex: Kerosene Scam in Maharashtra, Land Scam in Karnataka, Quarry scam in Tamil Nadu, etc.). And anyone who has expressed his displeasure through writings, blog posts or art have been jailed like our neighboring country, China. Where is free speech in a Democracy?

So, Who is at fault for making wrong choices – is it you or the government you elect? We made wrong choices and we trusted the wrong people in power and as a result our suffering list is growing longer every 5 years. It is time for self-reformation before prescribing the same to our parliament and parliamentarians. 

My blood boils when I see 30% of my salary deducted at source and going into Government coffers to fund this mind fu**! Darwin says only the fittest survive, maybe I should developed immunity to survive the game of mind fu** or get infected and join the game? 

My response to Caste Census

When I opened the refrigerator I saw there was a pot full of buttermilk flavored with mustard seeds, asafoetida and garnished with curry leaves. I asked my mother if she was expecting guests over and she replied she had made it for the guys who were coming around for the caste census.

I closed the door of the refrigerator door and told my mother that i have no problem with her afternoon buttermilk party but we need to decide if we want to participate in this exercise as criminal in nature as sex determination.

1. As Brahmins we have already lost so much wrt to our caste and reservation policies and today we are first ones to flee the nation in search of good education and job.

2. Reservation policy and quota is based on such census report and this only divides the Indian society and creates a climate for another Godhra and Ayodha.

3. Such census is more for political manipulation and to divide and rule the country based on caste. India is the only nation that operates by caste and yet we call ourselves secular.

5. Caste census slaps performing population with quotas and reservation and encourages mediocrity.

4. Let's be kind and offer the buttermilk but no data for their caste census.

5. Tell them that we are not revealing mine until all MPs in both house and all MLAs reveal theirs.

6. Remember the caste census exercise is encouraging mediocrity and using my tax money to scheme plans against me!

Caste census is like sex determination! It kills the spirit and joy of togetherness and peace! By responding to the caste census you are turning this nation into a castist, rascist, and sexist society. So remember to censure caste census!

Celebrate or Celeberate?

Especially if you are single, your birthdays give you an occasion to look back at life and friends you made (intentionally and or unintentionally) and use the opportunity to bring them all under one roof and ensure they will be around for the remaining journey. To singles who’ve lived in the company of loneliness these occasions can also work to dispel their insecurities, validate their choice of singlehood wasn’t a bad one and also provide a quick check on the lifelines that you can count on for the journey ahead! Doesn’t it sound a perfect life-check at 40?

The very moment I received the email invite from a friend, I called him to find out the reason for the gathering and who would be there to decide if I should attend or not. After much deliberation I decided to attend the party and after a long thought haul I decided against a gift certificate because I thought I knew my friend well enough and that I should be able to get something that would keep us more easily accessible and connected. To make our friendships feel more connected and accessible, I picked up a smartphone for a gift to this gadgetphobe. Would the gadget bring us closer or keep us apart was yet to be seen.

As people started to trickle in, the islands of tables surrounded by the chairs in the lush green lawn under the star light sky quickly metamorphosed into a continent of people who were soon to engage in unrelenting gobble and gabble.

The invitees spanned across his school days, colleges days, and first job and there was also someone who had met him for the first time two weeks back – so from roots to shoots the camaraderie looked perfect, complete and more in-line with “Facebook” timeline. And when you there at such a gathering everybody wants to exchange notes on one person – the host. How do you know him and where do you know him from seemed to be making more rounds than starters and alcohol. I anticipated this question and a week before the gathering I shared my answer with my friend and rehearsed my lines to make sure we had no conflict.

In the gathering, some of them were funny and nice, some reserved and reticent and as usual there was an obnoxious one. In the gathering there were a few people who went to the same school and 20 years later we had an opportunity to crib about our unhappy schooldays.

Very soon a tall women (definitely 50+) in a starched and neatly ironed cotton saree arrived. I knew I had seen her before, but could not recollect from when and where we had met. She settled in a chair and got busy with her how do you know question, and then moving on to discuss weather, politics and her shopping spree on Flipkart. I felt there were big time and elders who pedaled websites and technology like child’s play and I should use their support to help my friend overcome his gadget phobia.

Some in the crowd had known each other from before and this gave them an opportunity to discuss other people who were not at the venue. My friend was busy ensuring order were taken for drinks, table filled with food and people were comfortable finding their comfort spots and people in the crowd. Since most of them had come with their better half, they didn't have the need or necessity to find conversation buddy.

I sat with the 60+ year old couple, who reminded me of the couple from Balachander’s movie “Pudhu pudhu arthangal” and I seemed to have more in common with them than the rest. They were so warm, welcoming and un-intrusive.

Everything seemed so primp, proper and perfect, until I became the target for the women in the starched and ironed cotton saree across from me. She never introduced or smiled, but kept starring at me at me from the moment she occupied the chair. While people were busy eating fish fingers, paneer, methu vada, and cheese balls, she decided to catch me unaware and make me a part of the evening menu.

A stranger asking me my marital status in a public platform, almost turned the munching jaws silent, all eyes on me and ears awaiting my response went up like those of German Shepherds. May be it is easy to ask personal questions to a stranger, but I felt like I was in a family courtroom and she was getting ready to validate her curiosity and make me testify in front of the April gathering.

And before I could respond, she justified or made an excuse that she was being a typical Indian women. I looked at her and said, “Should I answer personal question from a perfect stranger?” and I corrected her by saying that she was more like a Marriage Obsessed Mylapore Mami (MOMM) who thought RTQ (right to question) is an act passed by Indian Parliament and it was their birth right.”

At 50+ women lose elasticity around of lot of their muscles and today I added her mouth to that list. I could never understand the intention behind her question and very soon at the dinner buffet I had another nosy mami who wanted to know why I choose to stay single. I always avoid gathering around married people and that evening I realized I had made a mistake to be a part of a married crowd who always want to pry. I could never understand what my friend meant when he said he hated fruit salad with ice-cream and today I did after being a part of this crowd.

One of the invitees liked my idea to get each of the guests infront of the camera share how they knew the host and share one incident that made their friendship special or reveal a secret about their friend. And I decided to salvage the remaining evening with this idea.

I sold the idea to a reluctant few and got them out of their chairs, and put them under the flood flights and infront of the camera. I know I should have taken permission from the host to do this, but I felt I was capturing memories and I enjoyed the liberty of friendship to record and surprise him. When he heard someone share what they said infront of the camera, he didn’t enjoy a wee bit. I came all the way to make him happy and make him feel special, but now I felt I had disappointed him. Neither the gift I got him nor did my idea of filming nostalgia excite him. I felt I was walking on eggshells and with no more tricks in my bag I decided to call one of my lifelines and execute the Cinderella act.

Lying in my bed that night, I was swarmed by mosquitoes aka questions and thoughts that I could never kill with the electric bat. From the moment I handed the gift over to my friend, he kept saying I should take it back and not let it pair-up with his unused iPod at home. As friends dont we all derive our happiness from making and seeing our friends happy? My smart ideas failed and I felt more disconnected with my friend than ever before. As my other friend says, "I am the cause of my happiness and sadness."

So, who are friends? Are these the ones who you don't know much about? And are these the ones who should feel satisfied with after a mere 15 minutes conversation every other week and meet up every two months in a coffee shop for an hour. Friendship that night sounded like a service contract that you make with the mechanic to service and repair your home electronics.

I realized that evening celebration turned into a cele(beration) for me! And for a man who hated reunions, marriages, a singles birthday party became a perfect landmine. At my 40, I would prefer a health-checkup to a friendship-checkup!

Where are the General Practitioners and Family Physicians

We live in an age where there is too much information available online for patients to self-educate and there are too many specialties in medicine that often delays patients from knocking the right doors at the right time. But where are the family physicians and general practitioners who can give them the right answers and guide to the right doors.

It has been 9 months since I had an inframammary incision to correct the venous drainage in my heart. The wound healed very quickly, but the tightness and pain associated with the movement of my rib cage was something that never seemed to go away. During my first visit, 3 months post surgery, I shared my concerns with the doctor and again during my last visit 3 months back I raised the same issue. The cardiologist put a steth on my chest to hear my heart beat, performed an echo to check on the re-routed pulmonary vein but never bothered to address the issue of pain and stiffness. Cardiologist and surgeons both had the same answer; it takes time for the intercostal nerves to heal and inframammary incision is much better than median sternotomy. None of them could suggest a remedy other than prescribing painkillers and in short I had to live with the pain until it vanished on its own.

In the last few weeks the tightness around my left chest returned and I had pain along the ribs under my left armpit. One day last week, while at the gym I felt my ribs were shrinking and strangling my left lung and I felt lifting my left hand would tear my sutured skin and expose my lungs underneath. Was this pain from skeletal movements or was it a result of something going wrong inside the fist-sized four walled chamber called the heart? I had no clue and I didn’t want to visit another cardiologist. Where do I turn for help next? Who should I talk to?

I was tired visiting the doctor and asking the same questions again, so I decided to turn to google for help. I typed “Pain post inframammary incision” but didn’t see too many answers under this topic.

This is when I pinged my friend, a General Practitioner (GP) in UK. I laid down in my bed thinking I was an examination table and I narrated my pain areas as I inhaled, exhaled, moved my left arm up and down and I laid on my right side. Call it telemedicine or chat medicine, all I needed was someone to figure out what was causing the pain. I remembered enduring the same pain a week after surgery and suddenly after 9 months the pain seemed to have returned. I experienced pain only when the diaphragm and ribs moved to fill my lungs with fresh air. A few minutes later the GP said, “It looks more like muscular and skeletal pain” and a physiotherapist would be of more help in this case than a cardiologist. GP’s diagnosis of my issue seemed absolutely on the money and none of the cardiologist who I visited in the past even referred to it as muscular or skeletal pain. He simplified the terminology, the reason for the pain and prescribed to see a physiotherapist than visit a cardio surgeon or a cardiologist. He also advised me to consult a family physician/general practitioner before I went a physiotherapist or cardiologist. His words gave me the confidence and strength that none of my other doctors gave.

8 months ago when I mentioned about my GP friend in the UK to a cardiologist, he smirked and said, “GPs don’t have much work/case load and they make money by just examining and referring patients” and he made it sound as thought it was a compounder’s job and these guys were making free money. I was shocked and surprised how the medical fraternity viewed and under-valued the role of GPs and FPs in the society.

As specialist doctors, almost all of them are forced to rely on machines and recommend tests (hospitals are run like corporates and for profit) to pin point the problem and not on the art of clinical examination. While GPs and FPs are the only set who strongly rely on clinical examination, but with dwindling population of GPs and FPs the art of physical examination is almost coming to an extinct.

Before you head out to see a specialist or start your search on google, visit your family physician or general practitioner. Remember the art of physical examination is where medicine and remedy starts!

Here are a few must read articles on this topic.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129931999

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/12/health/12profile.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donald-m-berwick-md/health-care-waste_b_1411281.html

Why are we singled out?

After having filed seven Form 1040 in US and seven Form 16 in India, I honestly look at the perks and exempts married people and people with kids get. Governments across the world are inconsiderate towards single people.

If China put a cap on the number of kids a couple can have, India must provide incentives to people who decide to stay single. It is married people with kids who add to governments responsibility, bring them a bad name and eventually their downfall. Governments across the world are constantly lambasted for not feeding all mouths, providing free primary education, providing health care and affordable health care to citizens, and provide infrastructure to bungling and bulging metros.

1. I don’t procreate and add to India’s population read as misery. Though many economists feel our population is our power, but you can’t deny that our population is also a peril.

2.I don’t have family and I don’t bring family dispute/ divorce cases to already overburdened and miserably slow judicial system.

3.I don’t amass wealth for my next generation, buy multiple homes for each of my children. I live for my need and not for my greed. I don’t consume as much as family people do – natural resources, cutting down forest or swallowing agriculture land for urban development.

4. I don’t bring family to politics and family politics to Parliament.

Just look around and you can find more reasons in my favor. Even characters in Mahabharata and Ramayana had family issues that eventually wiped out a race then trying to teach morals to this society.

Yet I pay more taxes with no exemptions for my single status. Why am I not getting any exempt or entitles for any perks when I am not adding to their worries and troubles?

Why this Kolaveri di? Why are we singled out?

Venues change but stories remain same

With London Olympics just a few months away, are the host on track to win the gold? Have they done a better job compared to our 2010 Common Wealth Games (CWG)?

Finances: The cost of hosting London Olympics is grossly underestimated and misrepresented – originally pegged at 2.4 bn pounds, it touched 9.3 bn pounds by 2007 and now it is estimated to cost 13 bn pounds and with upgrade of public transportation it is expected to touch 24 bn pounds. Private-sector contributions are expected to cover only 2% of the expense.

CWG disaster: 2010 CWG was hosted by India and the cost went up by 1575% since the bid was floated. In 2003 the estimated cost was USD 323.19 mn in 2010 the expenses totaled up to USD 11.97 bn, making it the most expensive CWG ever!

Olympic Village: The Olympic village was originally planned to by sponsored by an Australian firm, but the 2008 economic meltdown melted the sponsorship and has now fallen on the taxpayers head & shoulder. Tax payers get to bear the brunt and shortfall of such extravagant affair.

CWG village – stained and un-green: The village was not green and was constructed in the flood plains of Yamuna, flouted norms and was constructed in an ecologically sensitive zone. We know what happened even before the CWG village was thrown open, from pan stains, leaky plumbing to unready apartments. We know how and why building contracts were awarded to certain companies (benamis of politicians) and how the village was allotted to kith and kin of politicians and government officials in the name of lottery.

Murky land deals at London Olympics: The land was sold to a Qatari development company at a subsidy to develop a new urban jungle for the games at a loss of 275 mn pounds to taxpayers. Government and Secretary in-charge have successful created an illusion in the mind of taxpayers that London will inherit a new urban jungle at the end of Olympics and have not been questioned. England or India, doesn’t matter if you are ruled or were ruled by the Queen, the state of affairs seem to remain status quo.

In the name of games: Procure high technology gear, precision weapons, light drones, ammunition and surveillance gear and militarize the city in the name of Olympics. Does the competition for gold and silver require an whopping 1+ bn plus military expense? And next time when someone gets on the podium and say “I declare the games open” you know all about the “games they’ve played!”

There is an underlying belief that games will bring in money, improve trade & tourism, and accelerate the economy, but have we seen any such development in India post CWG?

Even before the game let us look at the medal tally: so, who leads and who won? Is it us hosting CWG or the Queen hosting Olympics? Click here to read more on the Guardian. Venues change but sadly the stories remain the same! For now I look forward to the audit committee reports, court trails and a few officials behind bars for life, that is the only sense of closure for a honest taxpayer.